HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

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Mark:

Thank you for the quick email. My wife C___ and I are starting to go through the material now.

One question (I think I know the answer, but figured I would check), I am assuming these strategies have been successful on children with a diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder as well as ODD. Our son C___ is 15 years old and exhibiting most of the issues you describe. He is extremely confrontational and defiant at this time, but not violent. He is insisting upon control of his life than making very poor decisions with that control. C___ was removed from his biological mother at 18 months and his father was already incarcerated by that time for sexually molesting one of C___'s sisters. Ended up, he later admitted to sexually molesting three of C___'s sisters (none were the father's biological children). The six children were all in foster care for a minimum of 7 years prior to being adopted.

We adopted C___ just before his 10th birthday. He had lived with us for approximately 10 months prior to the adoption. While there were always minor behavioral issues, the out of control teenager aspect has completely taken over since last January, providing us with truly 9 months of hell. While never a great student, he has lost ALL interest in school. He does attend, but is disruptive and refuses to do any work. Despite doing decently for the first two 10 week marking periods last year (mid to high 70's, some 80's), he ended up failing both math and english basically for not doing his work. Due to his behavior, the school is very close to filing a PINS (person in need of supervision) application with the courts.

C___ and I will be completing the article over the next two days and we are starting to try to put some of the strategies into play. We are definitely saying our prayers on this one. C___ is a good kid who was dealt a very poor hand early in his life.

R.

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Hi R.,

It seems to me [going on what you’ve told me] that a main issue currently is poor academic performance. Please be sure to read the recommendation for this on the page entitled “Emails From Exasperated Parents” [online version of the eBook].

Mark

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We adopted our youngest child at 4 months old. She has had some major issues with what seem to be abandonment and rejection (started noticing at about 18-24 months old). She is now 8 1/2 years old. She is the most seat and loving girl you could ever have. Problem is she also has this other side that is completely out of control. Once she is set off and it can be something very small she will scream and beat on everything. She will spew unbelievable venom from her mouth and defy everything that is said to her. We have been helped a lot by your online course and have learned how to let her vent and ignore her and she will stop most of the time.

My question is how to handle the times when she is messing with her older sister or doing something that could hurt her or someone else or destroy something that I can't afford to replace. The more we ingage the worse it gets. HELP!

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