HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

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My Out-of-Control Teens

Hi D.,

Please look for these arrows below: ==>

Hi Mark:

A lot has happened since my last email about 5 weeks ago.

Our son B, 15, was arrested for battery on a school official on November 2nd. (He threw a piece of candy at a teacher from a distance at lunch time horsing around.) He was arrested for battery on a school official and the teacher dropped the charges but he mouthed off to the cop and resisted arrest without violence.

He is in the juvenile system and as of today in a diversion program. As a result for this recent offense, he was up for expulsion but in lieu of that is assigned to an internet-based alternative school. He is very capable, making poor choices and hanging out with the wrong crowd.

==> This is a good thing. Most of my juvenile clients do very well in alternative school. The classroom is usually smaller and they get more one-on-one attention.

His latest "Buddy" is an Afro-American 15 year old who is already a FATHER!! He is a foster child, living with six other foster kids with a single adult male. He has been going there all too often, against my wishes. Walks out of the house without permission, lies about his whereabouts and takes public transportation hither and yon. He got picked up by the police for sleeping on a girl's doorstep with the one mentioned above, they were both warned and let go.

==> If he leaves without permission, go to probation and file a runaway complaint.

He was drug tested this morning. Negative except for a trace of marijuana and he admitted trying it three months ago.

He is non-compliant at home, makes threats and breaks things to manipulate. All of this will be coming to an end.

==> Call the police and file a report whenever he destroys property. This gives your son’s PO more ammunition in court.

Our daughter, A, 17, I found out today skipped school all day on Friday. I also found out today with a little research from a deputy, that her boyfriend is 21 and has his own apartment. Her Father signed a car loan for her on October 20th and now that she has wheels, it is harder to control her. She is grounded for a week and will lose driving privileges if she violates those terms. Her grades are great and she has maintained a job for over two years that she likes.

I was going to have her battery charges on me dropped, but with her recent antics, we are going ahead. She has skipped other days too and forged her Father's signature on a note to get out of school.

==> I’m glad to hear you are not dropping the charges.

I am hoping that they will both hit rock bottom and we will see some changes. They both have so much going for them, attractive, bright and I have already done their pre-paid college programs. They are making destructive choices.

If Bart violates the diversion he will go through the court system and be on probation. All up to him.

Any feedback appreciated...Thank you!

==> Well …as ugly as circumstances are right now, you’re doing what you should be (i.e., allowing natural consequences to take effect).

Mark

My Out-of-Control Teens

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