HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

Do you think my 2-week period for her is too long?

I have one question for you, if you could help me out on this: right now, my 16-yr old daughter was given an ultimatum (from me) that she had to live with her dad for a cooling off period of two weeks, without a cellphone, because she was destroying some internal house property, as well as becoming threatening to me, totally disregarding curfew, swearing at me, etc. I notice in your book you recommend a 3-day punishment period only. My daughter’s deal was that at the end of the 2-wk cooling off period, assuming she could agree to a basic contract of respectful behaviour, we’d try it again (ie. I have her at home). It’s only been in effect since Monday. Do you think my 2-week period for her is too long? (assuming she agrees to the contract earlier? What if she doesn’t agree?). With all her behavioural problems, she has still gotten decent marks at school (despite a number of absences), as well as she holds down a good little part-time job (which unfortunately I think enables her to buy drugs – soft ones, I don’t honestly think she’s into anything hard. I do know she has had alcohol and continues to party with it a bit). She does put a part of each paycheque away for savings. It’s the swearing, lying, curfew breaking, belligerence, total lack of respect for property, etc. that is way out of hand). Thoughts?

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I think 2 weeks is fine. I don't see "living with dad" as punishment. It's probably a good thing that the two of you have some time away from one another while you re-group and decide of some new strategies.

Mark

Online Parent Support

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