Teen Girls and Promiscuity

My daughter tells me she wants to have sex – with anyone. She doesn’t have a boyfriend, but she is actively looking for sexual encounters and is becoming more promiscuous by the day. Help!!!


Girls with low self esteem are more likely to have sex at a young age. 50% of girls interviewed said they had sex by the time in they were in 9th grade some even earlier. The good stat is that 75% of girls of aged 9 say they like the way they look. That number drastically goes down to 56% by the age of 12 and 13. By the age of nine, 50% of girls say they have been on a diet or are on a diet. Do you know that 7 million girls and women have an eating disorder and that 20% of women are bulimic in America? 33% of girls age 9-12 think they are overweight and that 60% of those same girls are on a diet. 57% of girls are fasting, on a diet or are smoking in order to lose weight. What is the result? Well, 50%-70% of girls with normal weight think they are overweight. They are also many other statistics on girls and teenagers who are suffering of low self esteem using drugs and alcohol.

What kind of help is there for overcoming low self esteem? The number one thing we can do is to make sure they know we love them and we provide them with affection. If they know we love them, then they will trust us and will be more likely to talk to us when a difficult situation in their like arise. As part of raising your children, you must instill 2 traits in your children.

First, make sure your children have people skills. People skills are not thought in school. They make sure your children know how to count, read and write. Look around you, may be your friends, people at work, who appear to be more successful in their life. Successful can be at work or their marriage. Is it Joe, in the corner who does not talk to anyone or Mary who can start a conversation with anyone at anytime. Is Brandi at work who always eats alone or Frank who is always helping and praising others? The answer is always the more outgoing person who is friendly and nice to everyone. By the way, when I say outgoing, I don’t mean the person next to you at work that just can’t shut up. I mean the person that can have conversation with anyone, that person.

The second item is character. Help your daughter build character. Make her make the hard choices. Don’t let her get away with the occasional lying or unacceptable behavior. Make her understand in a positive way that there are consequences for not behaving correctly in today’s society and they will result in some sort of negative ways for her. Hold her accountable just like you think the society will hold her accountable so she is ready when she becomes an adult.

I would like to tell you it is easy, but the reality is that if it was easy, they would not be 7 million girls out there suffering of low self esteem. Overcoming your girl teenager low self esteem is a very serious concern that all parents should have. Look for the low self esteem signs and address it.

The following ten are some of the most prevalent signs of low self-esteem:

1. You use negative, hopeless language. Low self-esteem seeps in to one’s daily language. Examples of negative, hopeless, low self-esteem language include phrases like: “It figures”, or “If something bad is going to happen, it will happen to me”, or “I’m only human”, or “I can’t…”, or “I never could…”, or “I should have…”, or “Life sucks and then you die”, etc…

2. You take things personally. The lower your self-esteem, the more you will feel unsure of yourself. The more unsure you feel about yourself, the more apt you will be to take what other people say personally. Raise your self-esteem and other people’s opinions and comments will roll off of you like water off of a duck’s back.

3. You get frustrated, impatient, or angry often. When you do not feel good about yourself, you tend to have very little patience with others. This lack of patience and understanding for others creates a breeding ground for many possible negative responses including frustration, anger, incredulousness, and being harshly judgmental.

4. You don’t make and/or sustain direct eye contact with others. Someone who shifts his eyes about and/or is unable to make direct eye contact is communicating low self-esteem, as well as communicating an intention to avoid connecting with others.

5. You do not take risks. Some people respond to low self-esteem by avoiding taking risks in their personal and professional lives. If you feel unsure about yourself, you may fear failure and worry about looking bad, to the point that you play it safe. Give up fearing failure and looking bad. You are going to die anyhow. You might as well give life its fair shake and go for your soul’s desires! Remember self-esteem problems show up differently in different people. You may feel great about yourself in one area of your life, but have extremely low self-esteem in another area of your life. There is always room for improvement. Isn’t it time you became committed to truly loving and appreciating yourself?

6. You do not engage with others. Your lack of belief in yourself may motivate you to choose to hide away from reality or cloister yourself away from other living, breathing humans. Take a very deep breath and join the land of the living. You have a lot to give - to yourself and to others.

7. You do not accept compliments well. “Oh no, not me”. Responding to a compliment with a statement of denial is another sign of low self-esteem. When you feel really good about yourself, you accept praise with appreciation and grace.

8. You are depressed. Chronic, pervasive, and extended bouts of low self-esteem are often precursors to depression. If you are battling with depression you are probably having trouble seeing the positive in any situation. If you are experiencing prolonged periods of extreme sadness, hopelessness, and/or sabotaging thoughts, consult a professional.

9. You apologize and feel guilty. If you say the words “I’m sorry” often, then you are apologizing for living. Apologizing a lot usually goes hand in hand with feeling guilty. Guilt is a major low self-esteem growth hormone. The guiltier you feel, the worse you feel about yourself, and the worse you feel about yourself, the guiltier you feel. Stop apologizing and give up feeling guilty today!

10. Walking with your head down. If you’ve ever seen someone walking with his head pointed downwards, with his chin scraping the front of his body, then you have witnessed low self-esteem. If you do this, pick your chin up off of your chest and walk with your head held high!

Good luck,

Mark

My Out-of-Control Daughter