tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post8476859706386567837..comments2024-01-28T07:29:31.518-08:00Comments on ONLINE PARENTING COACH: Reducing Parent-Child ConflictUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-33834808384333738942011-09-12T06:00:37.238-07:002011-09-12T06:00:37.238-07:00Ally is almost 16 and has engaged in some very dis...Ally is almost 16 and has engaged in some very disturbing behavior. Some of these behavioral issues are lying, drinking, engaging in promiscuous activity, screaming, swearing, refusals to come home when in trouble, and most recently lying about a sexual assault.<br />I am extremely concerned particularly about the later, as she engaged willingly into a sexual act (I have investigated this with all of her friends involved) and when she was asked about this episode her decision was to say she was raped. I would have never known any of this except my friend went to get her ( as she was angry at me and left the house again because she was grounded for a physical fit), and when my friend asked her why she was behaving so badly, she told her she was attacked. I want to trust her however in this case I absolutely know that she is lying because none if the facts add up. In fact, between what she told my friend, myself, my son, and her friends NOT one of the facts are consistent.<br />I feel that she lied to get the focus off of herself for her earlier behavior in the day.<br />I am very worried that in a case like this, she is not only harming herself but potentially harming someone else as well.<br />The lying has been an ongoing issue, but generally fairly white lies, until recently.<br />The drinking is a relatively new problem, and one that I absolutely do not condone.<br />Grounding does not work, as she just walks away and refuses to come home, short of calling the local police, I don't know what to do.<br />She is verbally abusive to her siblings, and uses blame as a tool, she swears, hits, yells, and then if you watch her, she will actually look around the room to see who is paying attention. It is down right scary.<br />When I try grounding her another common problem is that she will follow me around the house and barricade doors so that I am not able to leave a situation unless I physically remove her from my path. This is not a situation that I like to be put in as I tend to react in a very unhealthy manor.<br />I have cut off her Internet and cell phone because I am endlessly seeing provocative photos posted on Facebook, and incoming text messages from random people, it seems that any attention is good attention.<br />I have tried the loving and patient mother routine, however, I am at the point where I am not feeling patient at all, and loving is not how I would describe my feelings at this point.<br />I try very hard to set rules and boundaries, curfews etc, however she has no respect for what I ask at all.<br />Ally does not lack for things, she has a decent home, nice clothes, a horse, lots of extra activities and yet she days all of the time that she has nothing and I am a bad mother.<br />She is demanding of my attention, and if I dont act immediately, she gets pretty angry, swearing and name calling.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-17668436024023384612011-07-29T08:40:53.622-07:002011-07-29T08:40:53.622-07:00One of my close family members is going through a ...One of my close family members is going through a hard time at the moment with her 14year old daughter. My cousin is at her wits end and at a loss as to what to do, to try and make home life, even life in general better than what she feels it is now. The reason why I have reached out to you is because I can see the toll that these problems are taking on my cousin. More and more she expresses how she just wants to crawl under a rock and stay there. Its worrying me to see her normal happy, positive, optimistic self deteriorate. I believe its because she feels helpless, and like she has failed. Also because she misses her daughter so much but feels she is getting further and further away from reaching her.<br /> <br />I love my neice dearly but am unsure how to help her realise how her behavior is affecting the people who love her the most. At the moment my cousin has been dealing with her daughter running away, lying constantly to school teachers, family members and even to her friends parents. Does not want to follow the rules of the house. Very disrespectful to her Mother, especially the hurtful nasty things she says. Horrible to her sister, just doesnt want to try to make peace. Expressed that shes not going to make an effort to change. Just not interested in being part of our family as a whole. Only wants to hang out with her friends, whether shes allowed to or not.<br /> <br /> My Niece has taken off from home and is not there at the current moment. She is staying with another family member temporarily. We are desperate to find a solution to this problem/situation before things spiral more out of control. We are also concerend for my neice's safety. Shes only 14 and is so naive and ignorant to the dangers she could come into contact with "out there". I would hate for anything nasty to happen to her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-6318300061844071172011-07-15T09:55:56.406-07:002011-07-15T09:55:56.406-07:00Wynette Harmon-Blackburn Yes, I agree. She was aba...Wynette Harmon-Blackburn Yes, I agree. She was abandon by her bio mother in my lap. But she would like for me to leave as well. She wouldn't even come celebrate her birthday with her dad because I was going to be there as well. That is how serious it is.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-53874242252777426802011-07-15T08:38:38.868-07:002011-07-15T08:38:38.868-07:00Wynette Harmon-Blackburn And that only works when ...Wynette Harmon-Blackburn And that only works when everyone involved wants it resolved. In my case my step-daughter does NOT want it resolved. :( And I have worked so hard for four & a half yrs.<br />4 minutes ago ยท Like<br />Parenting Defiant Children and Teens - Support Group If your step-daughter does not want to resolve conflict, she is trying to create distance... so I would say she doesn't necessarily enjoy the conflict, rather she wants to maintain a wall.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com