tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post8479717045677844134..comments2024-01-28T07:29:31.518-08:00Comments on ONLINE PARENTING COACH: 20 Tips for Dealing with Demanding ChildrenUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-48529106375391590992012-06-01T06:23:51.557-07:002012-06-01T06:23:51.557-07:00I, like most mothers, have tried everything, and i...I, like most mothers, have tried everything, and it is getting worse. My son's attitude is horrible. He has become a bully in my home. He curses at me, in front of me, calls me names, punches things, breaks things when he is mad.. He balls up his fists at me when I am disciplining him. When I ask him to do something he tells me no... When he is supposed to do something he leaves the house.. when I tell him no he challenges that and then storms into his room slamming everything... <br /><br />He was on ADD medicine for some of the school year, and his attitude got worse, he would tell me he feels depressed, his anger has gone out the roof. He said he didn't like the way the pill made him feel, he went off of them over a month ago.. He comes home with marker tattoo's on his arms like a rapper wanna be. He is disrespectful in the class rooms to the teachers. He is sneaking out at night.. to be with girls, and is smoking pot when offered, I have caught him several times. and punished him... I AM AT MY WITS END.. I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP. I cannot take anymore.. I feel beat down.. and I have no more fight left in me to help him ...... sometimes I want to call the cops. But I dont want to get caught up in the system.. I tell myself he is not that bad yet it is getting worse..he is making all D's in school... or worse... I want to give up..... I feel so bad that I cant handle this anymore.. I raised all my children by myself.. and after dealing with issues all these year with the older ones... I have no more fight in me... <br /><br />I had breast cancer this year , had a total of 4 surgeries, including the breast cancer surgeries, and have?? been on my medical leave for a year. We have no one. He has never had a male role model in the house. We are alone .. We used to go to church, did little league, cub scouts, hiking, kayacking, traveling, camps. He refuses to do anything now. He signed up for football but is not taking any action to go and condition and do what he is supposed to be doing .. I cannot take any of this anymore.. And when one gets to this point,, can a cd help? He doesn't care about anything anyone does for him he acts like he is entitled .. to everything... I dont feel any kind anything toward him right now.. at all... Sometimes it hurts so bad,, what he is doing ,,, I feel like giving up.. I take it onto myself and go into a depression because I dont know how to help him anymore.. nothing works he does not care..... and I dont know why I love him he knows that.. Why doesnt he want more for himself? He is able to achieve so much yet he does nothing with his life.. nothing.. and I cannot force him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-9017860016643071052012-05-07T07:23:49.458-07:002012-05-07T07:23:49.458-07:00I am 31 years old and have a younger brother who i...I am 31 years old and have a younger brother who is 17 and finishing his junior year of high school. Our dad passed away from ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) three years ago and my mom is now raising him as a single parent. My whole family was rocked by my dad's aggressive and degenerative illness - I know that the trauma of living with his illness and death has had a huge impact on my youngest brother especially.<br /> <br />He begain drinking and moking pot in middle school and his grades and attendance at school have continually gonen downhill. My mom was pre-occupied and consumed with my dad and seemed to kind of give up on disciplining my brother. She let him get away with a lot because of our family's situation and because she was exausted and at her wits end. She has tried to regain control through grounding, etc but has not had a lot of success. Their relationship has deteriorated and it has been very difficult to watch them both struggle.<br /> <br />Last week my mom caught him smoking out in his bedroom and found a bottle of vodka, she also discovered that he had scuffed up her car and not told her about it. They got into a huge screaming match and she kicked him out of the house. He did not want to leave, but she forced him. He took his car and has been staying at a friend's house. His friend's mom is allowing him to stay there and he is adamant that he will not go home and does not want to live with our mom. My mom is adamant that she will not ask him to come back and does not want him there unless/until he has a change of heart and will change his ways.<br /> <br />This is crazy to me. I feel like she needs to get him back to the house at all cost and take some extreme measures to get their relationship, and his life back on track while she still has the chance.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-35815572859971782372012-05-05T06:09:42.726-07:002012-05-05T06:09:42.726-07:00I am tempted to purchase your book but I think our...I am tempted to purchase your book but I think our problem may have gone beyond anything we can do. We have a 12 year old boy whom we adopted at the age of 14 months. He knows about his birth parents his birth mother is my niece and his biological father is incarcerated indefinitely. He met him once about 2.5 years ago in prison.<br /> <br />I implemented a consequence last night in a calm manner, explaining the reasons for it. He turned our home upside down, kicked punched and slapped me, drew on the walls, screamed and yelled, threw things at me. This went on for over an hour, his constant intent to provoke something. We remained calm throughout. (We being my 26 year old son and I) As soon as my husband arrived home from working over 15 hrs my 12 year old started on him.<br /> <br />You may ask why I didn't call the Police. (we have on one other occasion) I didn't call them because I dont trust our Social Services system here in New Zealand to place him in a safe home for respite.. I did not want him to think we had abandoned him as he had been as a baby. He shows no remorse and no empathy. He is manipulative and calculating when this behaviour is happening. If you say something like "you shouldn't have done that" he takes up the challenge and does it with more intensity. He wont back down.<br /> <br />We are booked in to see a Psychologist on Monday as his defiant behaviour is now becoming an issue at school. He is also incredibly obsessed with his image, always looking in the mirror posing and preening nearly verging on narcisisim and yet this child is witty, can be good company and is very talented.<br /> <br />We are at our wits end physically and emotionally.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-70016757972457340992012-05-03T11:59:16.551-07:002012-05-03T11:59:16.551-07:00We are a Christian family, and I ask myself quite ...We are a Christian family, and I ask myself quite often how we came to this point. Our son is 17, has been arrested twice in the fall of this school year within a months time for "willful concealment" of something under $5, and the second time for possession of marijuana. We have received phone calls from two local police departments for "mischief" with friends, one of which was never proven and the other he was not directly involved. He is into marijuana and smoking cigarettes and cigars pretty regularly even though we have consequenced, warned and continue to express our rules. In the last couple of months he has snuck out of the house several times taking our car or a friends' in the middle of the night to see his girlfriend who lives almost an hour away. His consequence has been not being "allowed" the privilege to drive our vehicles and has been told not to drive friends cars as well. Each time he sneaks out, delays the period of time in which he will be able to drive. He has only had his license since just after Christmas, and has only earned the privilege to drive on a couple of occasions until he started sneaking out. At this point it has been recommended to suspend his license until he is 18 (he just turned 17 only 2 weeks ago). I am concerned if we don't provide the right consequence or implement one that lasts for too long of a time frame, he will continue this pattern and will feel he has nothing to work towards. We have tried so many approaches for our son; consequences, rewards, goals, etc. I feel like the window of opportunity continues to close as he gets older and approaches 18 in a short year's time. This is only a small snapshot of the behavior and frustration we have experienced with our seemingly oppositional, strong-willed, highly defiant, adhd son in especially the last year and a half.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com