My husband wants to forbid her from seeing him...

Thank you for getting back to me. As a matter of fact, I have been doing just as you stated. She does see him [boyfriend] under certain conditions and supervision. I'll continue to keep practicing your suggestions and hope for the best.

I have been working with your program and I have to say, it is giving me confidence and I find myself looking forward to sitting down and reading the material. I keep repeating those things like "let go and let God". I'm beginning to believe that it is me who has to change my parenting role, now that I am dealing with a budding young adult.

Question: Should I sit down with her and just tell her that I acknowledge her feelings for this boy and that it is time for me to trust her, but that she and I need to agree on some parameters for seeing him? My husband wants to forbid her from seeing him, so now I have two problems. I can handle my husband, but I want to keep peace with everyone.

Thank you again,

T.

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Hi T.,

Re: ...should I sit down with her and just tell her that I acknowledge her feelings for this boy and that it is time for me to trust her, but that she and I need to agree on some parameters for seeing him?

Yes, most definitely.

Re: My husband wants to forbid her from seeing him...

This will create more problems than it solves. I guarantee it! Wanna take a bet?

Mark

Online Parent Support

This is just as much about my "self discovery" as a person and as a parent as it is about my daughter...

Hi Mark,

I just signed up for the Online Parent Support and have just completed Week #1.

After years of misbehaviour and conflict I took my daughter (just turned 11) to see a Pediatrician, on the recommendation of my family physician. After my first visit and interview with the Pediatrician, I was told that "if you look up ODD in the dictionary, you would likely see a picture of your daughter". We talked a little about this disorder and when I left his office I actually felt some relief that there was a reason my daughter behaves the way she does.

When I got home I went onto the internet wanting to find out as much as possible about this disorder so I could have a better understanding what was going on with her. During my research, I found your Online Parent Support website. As I read through some of the information, I thought this was exacting what I was looking for. When I signed up for the course I was desperate for answers as to why my daughter behaves and responds they way she does.

Since completing Week #1, I have found that this is just as much about my "self discovery" as a person and as a parent as it is about my daughter. How I react and interact with her is key. I have implemented many of the suggestions and techniques, and they have worked beautifully in defusing many situations that would have, otherwise, ended up in huge explosions, tantrums and hurt feelings.

Also, understanding this oppositional, defiant behaviour has given me so much more insight and compassion and, as a result, has given me the strength to stay calm, not react and to let go of the small things.

Thank you for providing this online parent support, I'm truly looking forward to Weeks 2-4.

Sincerely,

G.W.
Victoria, British Columbia

JOIN Online Parent Support

I am already seeing an amazing and positive difference...

Mark-

I am only on the second week of your program, but I am already seeing an amazing and positive difference in my daughter. We have struggled with her behavior since she was 9 months old. I was humbled and astounded to learn that I was a big part of the problem in the way that I was reacting to her. We actually have some peace in our home and she even hugs us and says “I love you” on a regular basis. She has even begun apologizing for getting angry and being unreasonable.

The next step is to help her bring her grades up and stay out of trouble at school. I have every confidence that we have turned a corner and I’m referring everyone I know to your program.

Thank you!

T.E.