tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post1342605725266937409..comments2024-01-28T07:29:31.518-08:00Comments on ONLINE PARENTING COACH: Preventing Teenagers From Running Away: 15 Tips For ParentsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-53671627732673878752022-08-01T20:01:31.685-07:002022-08-01T20:01:31.685-07:00I have taken her phone, and the internet from her....I have taken her phone, and the internet from her. There is only one way in and out of the house, and I don't make it accessible. Seems as teenagers run the parents lives. You are the authority, and if a teenager wants to be treated like a 2 year old child, then treat them like a 2 year old child. Stop enabling them to treat you, the parent with disrespect.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-39066870432433319062020-11-03T12:06:10.462-08:002020-11-03T12:06:10.462-08:00I could really do with some help on this my daught...I could really do with some help on this my daughter is 14 and she's lied about being pregnant and haveing a abortion. She don't know that i know it's a lie so i belive that's why she can't face us. But she lies about everything she's told ss today she wont stay Inn the house on lockdown because she wants to be with her friends. In have seen posts of her drinking with groups in parks she's unaware I know all this. I get told to call the police all the time but they can't make her go home. She talks to me like dirt and will not do anything what so ever that's she's told. I'm emotion drained from the knowing she knows there nothing i can do to stop her running off. She come back for a bath or food then goes again. I have a family support but she don't care what they say she laughs at them. I really don't know what to do anymore always being the mum that just wants to know her kid is safe and feels like I'm a failure Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15903178097641904392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-89191488279262122272012-02-24T06:23:55.482-08:002012-02-24T06:23:55.482-08:00Re: What strategies can we use to get her to come...Re: What strategies can we use to get her to come home if things go on for more than a few days. <br /><br />I think this is the wrong question to ask here.<br /><br />You were doing very well as I read through the email (except I would ground her from her room, that is, lock the door and have her sleep on the couch).<br /><br />In keeping with the philosophy behind the program, a better question in this situation would be, "how can I help her comply with discipline" (since she is refusing to accept a consequence).<br /><br />You don't want to hear this - but "play her bluff." Assuming you read the eBook, we want our children to make mistakes. Why? Do you remember?.............<br /><br />Because that is the ONLY way they learn. This is a golden opportunity for your daughter to see just how hard it is to function "out of the nest."<br /><br />Stick to your guns ...keep starting the clock ...let her know she is loved but that the consequence for the issue in question is still waiting to be implemented and completed. AND if she wants to try to live elsewhere - let her make that mistake! (Do you want to take bets that she'll return home wiser and more humble in the not too distant future?)Marknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-30065731705570881892012-02-24T06:23:18.819-08:002012-02-24T06:23:18.819-08:00Hi Mark
Working your programme been really posit...Hi Mark<br /> <br />Working your programme been really positive for me. Generally things are better, and i am so much calmer and able to cope. But something came out of the blue 3 days ago which i need your advice about.<br />I am sure my daughter (age 16, still at school and only child) stole £10 out of my purse. Cant prove it but i am certain she did (has stolen money like this couple of times before). she denied this, claimed i must have lost it or someone else stole it). I grounded her for 3 days. Stopped her phone (as she refused to hand it over). I also stopped her access to internet and TV. Also said that she must do chores to pay me back (she has been earning £10 per week doing chores).<br />Since then she refused to be grounded. Leaving the house without permission. When she returns home at 10.30 goes to her room, generally dismissive, argumentative and stating she is refusing to be grounded as innocent. I had been keeping my poker face restating expectation of acceptable behaviour and walking away from her if tries to draw me into argument. Each time her 3 days has started again. My husband who is her step father (8 years) has been trying to support my approach, but their relationship has deteriorated over past few years, and he feels very frustrated and powerless. He feels she should be challenged more and her behaviour is unacceptable (which it is). Last night he completely lost his temper and they had a very intense argument. Next day my daughter said refuses to stay in the home and be shouted at it that way, and denies her behaviour was wrong in any way. She is angry that i did not “support” her, and i told her that her behaviour causes this frustration. This evening she packed small bag and left home. I tried to persuade her that this this was a mistake and would not solve the problem, following the guidance in workbook. She pitched up at her cousins (who is 20 and has always been close to my daughter and a positive influence). She said (via my niece) that not willing to return home. My husband and i agreed that no point going there to try to bring her back this evening as this could escalate things again. I have told niece to tell daughter that i will go over in morning with school uniform and take her to school. (tomorrow is Friday).<br />The advice i need is what to do tomorrow. I am concerned that my daughter will move on somewhere else (if niece refuses to allow her to stay longer, which she would only do if i asked her to take this stance). My daughter does have some relatives on ex husbands side of family who she would go to and who would allow her to stay, who would probably try to encourage her to return home but would let her stay (against my wishes) if she did not want to come home. My daughter does not see her natural father, He never took much of an interest and completely disengaged a few years ago.<br />Any how – What strategies can we use to get her to come home if things go on for more than a few days.<br />Thanks for you help<br />SamanthaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-41698448315999299772011-09-19T06:20:05.071-07:002011-09-19T06:20:05.071-07:00Re: My daughter now pretty much comes and goes as ...Re: My daughter now pretty much comes and goes as she pleases.<br /><br />I actually covered this in Session #3 of the online version of the ebook.<br /><br />In a nut shell... if she leaves without permission, she should be considered a run away... and dealt with accordingly.<br /><br />Use the strategy outlined is session #3 (When You Want Something From Your Kid) ...instead of the example about dishes, plug in "running away."<br /><br />You will want to take care of this immediately, because if she were to get injured while out and about, you could be charged with neglect and get a visit from a Child Protective Services case worked. So here running away doesn't just affect her. This is why it is important to contact police and advise them accordingly.<br /><br />MarkMarknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31943569.post-9378389201554621742011-09-19T06:19:42.735-07:002011-09-19T06:19:42.735-07:00My daughter now pretty much comes and goes as she ...My daughter now pretty much comes and goes as she pleases. She’s 14 and hasn’t been home since Friday morning. She signed an agreement that if her tongue were pierced she’d comply at home and at school but she broke this almost immediately. I know – I shouldn’t give credit but this wasn’t a biggie for me in that I don’t really have an issue with piercing (within reason). I told her that the consequence of not complying was that she’d spend Saturday night at home which she found amusing. As expected she just didn’t come home and wouldn’t answer her phone or my text messages. I have find my iphone on her phone and tracked her down just to make sure she was safe but she still wouldn’t come home. It appears she has now deleted the application off the phone so I can’t even check where she is. I think I know basically where she is but she says that the police won’t help me because I know where she is. She’s absolutely right. The police have told me themselves that they will only speak with her. I’ve cleaned out her bedroom of all entertainment and told her she’s lost all privileges but she doesn’t seem to care. There is no incentive to come home I guess but I have a younger son, almost 13, and an older one, 17, and they both need to see that it’s all fair.<br /><br />I can contact DHS and she may end up in some type of residential care but she’s thrown this back at me and said that if that happens it will be my fault. I’m concerned about what she may be subjected to although it can’t be much worse than what’s going on now.<br /><br />I’d like to abduct her and take her outback for about 6 months and have her counselled but that’s not reality.<br /><br />I do believe she’s struggling with dealing with something. I don’t know what and I don’t think she does either but she’s not really interested in talking to anyone about it.<br /><br />I’m concerned about drugs and alcohol because I know she has indulged in the past and tells me she continues to. I know she’s used speed, ice and marijuana.<br /><br />She is in constant conflict with teachers at school and has been suspended numerous times and basically attends when it suits.<br /><br />I have absolutely no control or even input and feel a total failure.<br /><br />Can you suggest anything?<br /><br />Regards,<br />KarenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com