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Defiant Behavior versus Normal Teenage Rebellion

Many families of defiant teens live in a home that has become a battleground. In the beginning, the daily struggles can be expected. After all, we knew that problems would occur because teens are naturally rebellious, to a degree. Initially, stress can be so subtle that we lose sight of a war, which others do not realize is occurring.    We honestly believe that we can work through the problems. Outbursts, rages, and strife become a way of life (an emotionally unhealthy way of life). We set aside our own needs and focus on the needs of our teenager. But what does it cost us? There is a significant difference between normal teenage rebellion versus defiance : Defiant teens are destructive and disagreeable by nature They like to push their parents' anger-buttons Every request results in a power struggle Lying is a daily habit, and stealing is a favorite hobby Getting others to react strongly pleases and amuses them They blame others for their mistakes and misbehavior ...

Skype Workshops for Parents of Strong-Willed, Out-of-Control Children and Teens

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Mark Hutten, M.A. - Master's in Counseling Psychology The problem is that most parents of strong-willed, out of control children and teenagers have tried very hard to regain control -- but with little or no success.  And it seems the harder the parent tries, the more the child "acts-out." I often hear the following statement from parents: "I've tried everything with this child -- and nothing works!"   But when they work with me , they soon discover they have not tried everything, rather they have tried some things. If you're interested in Skype counseling, simply do the following: Create a Skype account, if you haven't done so already -- it's free! Add me to your contacts list. My Skype name is: markbhutten . [After you get into your Skype account, do a search using my Skype name. You'll see my picture and my name: Mark Hutten.] Send me a contact request. I will accept it and add you to my contacts. Email me so we can...

She was picked up by the police...

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Mark- We are beside ourselves. Our daughter, and I am a stepmother to her, so she doesn't feel that I have a place in her life except that I am married to her dad. She lives with us. Although she hates coming home because it is so far away from her friends. She takes off, has her friends pick her up from here even when we tell her she is a "runaway". She stays out at friends' homes for days without telling us where she is. Her favorite saying is "f... y..". She is disrespectful to her dad.    She was picked up by the police this weekend because she was in a car with a friend who had a gun and drugs. We don't know what to do with her. We are considering sending her to a camp for troubled teens. Can you please provide us with some advise? If we say white, she says black. If we say left, she says right. It doesn't matter what our approach is, she always contradicts it. We are definitely in trouble here and need advise. We believe she is...

When to Consider Inpatient Treatment for Your Troubled Teenager

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Raising a teenager can often feel like navigating a complex maze, especially when faced with behavioral and mental health challenges. For some adolescents, these struggles may reach a point where outpatient therapy is no longer sufficient to address their needs. It is at this crossroads that many parents contemplate the necessity of inpatient treatment. However, determining the appropriate moment for such a significant decision can be overwhelming. Below are key indicators and detailed considerations that can help guide your decision-making process. ### Key Indicators That Your Teen May Need Inpatient Treatment 1. **Severe Emotional Distress**: Pay close attention to whether your teenager exhibits persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or anger that negatively impact their daily life. Signs may include prolonged periods of crying, irritability, loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, or an inability to concentrate. If your teen’s emotions seem overwhelming and unmanageable...

Boys Ranch?

Thank you for your telephone conversation with me today on Sunday and helping me with getting the online version; somehow just hearing from the real person who began this program was a sense of hope that this may be my first successful door to help my troubled 15 year old teenager. I have contemplated and contacted twice The Boys Ranch for troubled teens in the last 2 years; due to mixed reasons such as unsupport of my husband (doesn't want to send our child away), the on / off times of my child with seemingly better behavior only to get in trouble again, and myself torn between to send him or not are all reasons I have not sent him their for help. But things have only escalated with him; this place is a free facility, as I do not have the finances otherwise for somewhere else. I can't remember if there is a minimal time that your child has to be there once enrolled or not; I just felt this would be a very controlled environment with one on one adult supervision and counseling...

Testimonials

I just wanted to share some wonderful emails from members of Online Parent Support: “OPS is very thorough and has helped me and my family immensely. My husband and I have a better understanding now! Since completing the program, my son Jonathon has brought his grades up 35%, and he is getting praise from teachers. The Assistant Principal wrote a letter describing improvements in Jonathan’s behavior and gave it to me at the parent-teacher conference.” ````````````````````````````````````````````` “We thank everyone involved with this program. We are using the techniques we have learned on ALL of our children, not just the one we were having trouble with.” ````````````````````````````````````````````` “I found OPS very helpful, even though our child was already in placement at a juvenile facility. Wish we had taken this course years ago.” ````````````````````````````````````````````` “I looked forward to...

What Parents of Troubled Teens Need to Know About Fentanyl

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The Nation’s Greatest and Most Urgent Drug Threat In recent years, the opioid crisis in the United States has shifted dramatically with the emergence of fentanyl as the most significant and urgent drug threat facing the nation. Fentanyl, a synthetic opioid, is not only highly addictive but also immensely potent, causing an escalating number of overdoses and fatalities across the country. Understanding the impact of this substance, its origins, and the measures being taken to combat its proliferation is essential to grasp the severity of the crisis.  The Potency and Dangers of Fentanyl Fentanyl is reported to be 50 to 100 times more potent than morphine and is estimated to be about 50 times stronger than heroin. This extreme potency significantly raises the risk of overdose, as even a minuscule amount can be lethal. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), synthetic opioids, primarily fentanyl, accounted for over 70% of all opioid-involved deaths in 2021. T...

Parenting Program for Troubled Teens

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==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents

Should You File Criminal Charges Against Your Own Teenager?!

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Hi, I am just getting started with your program. Thanks for all the work you have put into it. I plan to put my work into it! Five days ago I found several receipts where my 17 yo daughter (will be 18 in 3 mos.) has used my debit card to take money from our bank account. I also found a check where she forged my husband’s name. She admitted to it. We told her we were either going to send her away to get help for this and all the other problems she is involved in OR that we were going to file charges against her. She emailed us after the confrontation (where we both remained poker faced). She begged not to be sent away, acknowledged that she needed to changed, and took verbal responsibility for her actions and apologized for blaming us for her behavior. Yeah, very heartwarming, but as you say, and as I already know: THEY LIE. Now my husband has changed his mind and does not want to follow thru with filing charges. He does not want to get involved in the "system...

Effective Parenting Strategies for Troubled Teens

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There’s probably a good reason you’ve found us. You’re here because you want to change your defiant teenager’s behavior, and you want to learn some real parenting strategies that work. OnlineParentingCoach.com has been giving our website visitors real results since 2006. Here you will find articles with crucial parenting techniques you can use to help turn your teenager’s behavior around – immediately.  So, if you’re looking for professional advice that works, you’ve come to the right place. Our website is a single resource for children, parents, teachers, mental health professionals, and others who deal with the challenges of Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, ADHD and other childhood disorders. We provide articles, conference information, educational resources, links to local/national/international support groups, lists of camps/schools, moderated support message boards, recommended reading, sources of professional help, and online parent-coaching. W...

From St. Paul's Preparatory Academy

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I have worked for the school for over twenty years in various positions including therapist, Director of Residential Life, Dean of Counseling, Dean of Students. Recently we have established the position of Parent Liaison to assist parents with the challenges of having their son in a boarding school and I have moved into this role. In addition to being a mentor for the parents, I will also be conducting parenting workshops through the year. I am also working on a school based website that will offer assistance to our parents, and am pleased to be offering a link to your web site and book. Your book and web site is an excellent source of guidance and support for all parents, not just those of troubled teens. Best regards, Jim Graves, MC Parent Liaison St. Paul's Preparatory Academy Educating Young Men Since 1961 ``````````` eBook ==> My Out-of-Control Teen Website ==> www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

St. Paul's Academy

Dear Mr. Hutten, A few minutes ago I e-mailed you a link to St. Paul’s web page. I want to take a minute to provide you some more background information. St. Paul’s is a private, not for profit college-prep boarding and day high school for young men. The school has a 46 year history of working with young men as a therapeutic group home, residential treatment center and during the past 12 years as a boarding school offering counseling support. Our typical students include: --Students who have gotten off the academic path due to poor choices, drug and alcohol experimentation, negative peer groups and desire to get back on track. --Students who perform better in a small classroom setting. --Students who require a structured academic and residential setting. --Students who desire the benefits of private school education. --Students who are scholarshiped as day students because of the benefits of a state academic tax credit for underprivileged children. Students receive th...

Daughter is Sexually Assaulted

Hello Mark: This is a strange experience. That is, sending a stranger, albeit we believe, a caring stranger such as you, an e-mail. My wife and I have used your program with our now 14 year old daughter, but not as fully as we could or should have. Nevertheless, we thought we had used our ‘poker faces’, and given ‘consequences’ lectures effectively, and that a real change (with constant and exhausting monitoring) was taking place. We had a real setback a month or so ago, in terms of inappropriate Facebook activities, and had our daughter cancel her Facebook profile and account. This was disappointing, but again we thought it was one of a series of setbacks that we thought would diminish in severity and with time. We were thinking a level of real trust was slowly taking hold. We were wrong! Today is Saturday evening. Yesterday evening we found out that our daughter and her only real friend, (according to her), a 15 year old girlfriend whom she has been very close ...

He knows exactly how to push her buttons and she gets so upset she usually just explodes in anger followed by tears...

I first want to start out by saying THANK YOU. Although I have only completed the first weeks session I already feel like there is hope for our family. I have a 15 year old son (will turn 16 in one month) who was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade and diagnosed with Bipolar disorder in the 6th grade. Currently his ADHD is stable with Adderall and his bipolar is being treated with Abilify. I dont think the Abilify is the answer however. I have learned to cope with alot of his 'difficulties" but there are 2 problems that I would call a "emergency." I also have a 14 year our daughter who is a basket of nerves. My son and her HATE each other. He knows exactly how to push her buttons and she gets so upset she usually just explodes in anger followed by tears. When she is upset there is no reasoning with her until she calms down. I can almost see the "excitement" in my son’s eyes when he makes her cry. She is so vulnerable right now. He knows she is very a...

Dealing with Uncontrollable Anger in Your Teenager

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Anger in teens takes many forms. It may be expressed as indignation and resentment, or rage and fury. It is the expression of anger (i.e., the behavior) that parents see. Some adolescents may repress their anger and withdraw, while others may be more defiant and destroy property. Anger is an emotion – not a behavior, and it is usually caused by something going on in the adolescent's life. Treating uncontrollable anger in teens generally involves several types of psychotherapy and training for your teen – as well as for you. Treatment often lasts several months or longer. If your son or daughter has co-existing conditions (e.g., ADHD), medications may help significantly improve symptoms. However, medications alone generally aren't used for anger-related issues unless another disorder co-exists. Here are 17 crucial tips for dealing with uncontrollable anger in your teenager: 1. At first, your teen probably won't be cooperative or appreciate your changed response to...