Your column "ask the parent coach" was like reading about my family's life story the last 9 months...

My name is L___ and I just want to thank you for your website that I stumbled upon while doing research on Reactive Attachment Disorder. Your column "ask the parent coach" was like reading about my family's life story the last 9 months. I have found a lot of websites on this disorder but yours really hit home for me.

We have a child that has been with us for 9 months that we were getting ready to adopt but have since decided that we do not have the capacity or time commitment to care for him. He was diagnosed with RAD by a school counselor recently and shows every sign of RAD except cruelty to animals. The more research I have done, the more I understand this disorder and the severity this boy has (he is 7). With 3 other young children, we have come to the conclusion that we can't commit to years of therapy without the rest of the family suffering in some way.

We know his family and he was taken away at the hospital and put into foster care for 3 months because his mother was a drug addict and he was tested positive for drugs in his system too. He has lived with his grandmother ever since but we feel, after reading all the websites that she too, has RAD. Her dysfunctional livestyle is all Austin has even known. We thought we could help him with "tough love" and discipline but now we see that is not the case and all our efforts these last 9 months have made little to no impact.

She also misdiagnosed him with ADD and heavily medicated him to keep him in control. She then tried to take her own life because she couldn't deal with him anymore and that is where we stepped in. We wanted to help out a needy child and the opportunity presented itself. Our hope is that he does not get back into the hands of her or his mother again. We hope it is with someone who can dedicate the time to get him the care he needs and deserves. We will have to advise the court of our findings and hopefully they can help us find placement for Austin. Again, I would just like to thank you for opening our family's eyes on this disorder. I didn't take it seriously before but I do now.

Sincerely,

L___