How do I get my over-achieving daughter to slow down?

"I have taken the quiz and surprisingly found that I was a severely over indulgent parent. This angers me because I didn't think I was. The question is: How do I get an over-achiever to slow down? There's more to the story but that is the 'gist' of the situation - she is not sleeping because of work and she wants more money."


Hi R.,

Overachievers rarely express their genuine feelings. They are driven to succeed and try fiercely to be independent. But many are actually very dependent on outside accomplishments to justify their existence. 
These teens can crash emotionally when they experience rejection or failure such as the break-up of a relationship or failing to be admitted to a "competitive" university. The most important message a parent can send to an overachieving teen is "I know you are human and struggling just like everyone."

“Overachieving behavior” is often a mask for depression. The onset of depression during the teenage years can be gradual or sudden, brief or long-term; and it can be hidden or "masked" by other clinical conditions such as anxiety, eating disorders, hyperactivity, and substance abuse. 
Although the incidence of more severe depression is less than 10 percent in all teenagers, many of the symptoms (sadness, poor appetite, inability to sleep, physical complaints) are seen more often. In fact, research has shown that up to a third of all teens experience some of these symptoms, even so-called "normal" teens.

If you suspect that your child is struggling with signs of depression, there are positive ways to help. Some of these ways include:

```Encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings; listen to their concerns without being judgmental; acknowledge the pain and suffering.

```Share similar unpleasant experiences that ended positively to provide a basis of hope; but make sure not to minimize their concerns and worries.

```Seek professional help from someone experienced in normal adolescent developmental changes.

```The possibility of suicide is always there. References, threats and attempts at hurting oneself should always be taken seriously.


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RE: “I have a 16 year old who is failing school and has absolutely no motivation.”

In this article, we will be discussing an important issue that many parents face - when their teenager is failing at school and has no motivation to succeed. It can be a challenging situation, but there are strategies and approaches that can help.

In order to address this issue, it is crucial to understand the root causes. Teenagers may lack motivation due to various reasons such as academic pressure, lack of interest in the subjects, external distractions, or personal struggles. By identifying the underlying factors, we can better support our teenagers and guide them towards success.

Developing a strong relationship with your teenager is essential. Take the time to listen to their concerns, validate their feelings, and show empathy. By building rapport, you create a safe space for open communication, which is crucial in addressing their academic challenges and motivating them to succeed.

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Encourage your teenager to set realistic goals. Break down long-term objectives into smaller, manageable steps. By achieving these smaller milestones, they will gain a sense of accomplishment and stay motivated. Celebrate their successes along the way to further boost their confidence and drive.

As parents, it's important to provide the necessary support. This can include creating a conducive study environment, offering assistance with homework, or even considering additional resources such as tutors or study groups. Let your teenager know that you are there to help them overcome any obstacles they may face.

While academics are important, it's crucial to encourage a healthy balance. Encourage your teenager to pursue other interests and hobbies outside of school to prevent burnout. Engaging in physical activity, socializing with friends, and pursuing creative outlets can enhance their overall well-being and motivation.

Open communication with your teenager's teachers and school staff is essential. Collaborate with them to gain insights into your teenager's progress and discuss any concerns. By working together, you can develop strategies to support your teenager's academic growth and provide a consistent message across all environments.

Recognize and celebrate your teenager's efforts. Acknowledge their hard work, perseverance, and improvement. This can be done through verbal praise, small rewards, or even simple gestures like writing encouraging notes. Celebrating efforts reinforces positive behaviors and encourages them to continue striving for success.

If your teenager's lack of motivation persists or is accompanied by other signs of distress, it may be helpful to seek professional help. School counselors, therapists, or educational consultants can provide valuable guidance and support. Remember, it's important to prioritize your teenager's well-being above all else.

Help your teenager discover their passions and interests. Encourage them to explore different career paths and discuss how education can open doors to their desired future. By instilling a sense of purpose and emphasizing the relevance of education, you can ignite their motivation to excel in their academic journey.

Regularly monitor your teenager's progress. Set aside time to review their assignments, grades, and overall academic performance. This allows you to identify areas for improvement, provide timely feedback, and adjust strategies if needed. Continuous monitoring shows your commitment to their success and helps them stay on track.

Gradually foster independence in your teenager. Encourage them to take responsibility for their own learning, time management, and study habits. This empowers them to develop crucial skills needed for future success. Be there as a guiding figure, but allow them to navigate their academic journey with increasing autonomy.

Remember, change takes time. Be patient and persistent in your efforts to motivate your teenager. They may face setbacks or resistance along the way, but your consistent support and belief in their abilities will make a difference. Stay committed and encourage them to keep pushing forward, even when the going gets tough.

As your teenager starts to regain motivation and succeeds academically, make sure to celebrate their achievements. Whether it's a graduation, improved grades, or even a small milestone, take the time to acknowledge their hard work and dedication. This reinforces their intrinsic motivation and sets the stage for future success.

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When Teens Destroy Parents' Property for Revenge

In this article, we will explore the reasons behind teenage destructive behavior and discuss strategies to prevent and handle these situations effectively.

First, let's dive into the reasons why teenagers may resort to destroying their parents' property for revenge. Adolescence is a stage filled with emotions, and sometimes teenagers struggle to express their anger in healthy ways. They may feel misunderstood, neglected, or unfairly treated, leading to feelings of resentment and a desire for retaliation. It's vital for parents and guardians to empathize with their teenagers and validate their emotions, creating a safe space for open communication and problem-solving.

Effective communication and setting clear boundaries are crucial in preventing destructive behavior. Encouraging open dialogues and active listening can help parents and teenagers understand each other's perspectives. Establishing boundaries can help manage expectations and avoid situations that may trigger acts of revenge. By maintaining a healthy level of respect and understanding, parents can foster a supportive environment where conflicts can be resolved in a constructive manner.

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To effectively intervene, it's essential to recognize the warning signs that indicate a teenager's potential for destructive behavior. These signs may include sudden changes in behavior, aggression, verbal threats, or displays of extreme anger. Stay alert and address these warning signs promptly, reaching out for professional help if necessary. Early intervention can prevent further escalation and provide the necessary support for both the teenager and the family.

Building strong relationships with teenagers is key in preventing destructive acts. Parents should invest time and effort in fostering trust, understanding, and empathy. By actively participating in their lives, showing genuine interest, and providing avenues for personal growth, parents can create a strong foundation of love and support. When teenagers feel valued and heard, they are less likely to resort to destructive behavior as a means of retaliation.

When faced with challenging behavior, it's important to utilize positive discipline strategies that focus on teaching and guiding rather than punishment. This includes setting clear expectations, enforcing consequences in a fair and consistent manner, and providing opportunities for growth and learning. By promoting accountability and responsibility, parents can help teenagers develop essential life skills and make better choices.

Empowering teenagers with emotional intelligence is key in helping them manage their anger constructively. Teaching them to identify and understand their emotions, as well as providing them with healthy coping mechanisms, can significantly reduce the likelihood of destructive behavior. Encourage activities such as journaling, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in hobbies that promote emotional well-being.

Educating teenagers about the consequences of destructive behavior is crucial. Through open conversations and real-life examples, parents can help them understand the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Highlighting the legal, financial, and emotional consequences in a non-judgmental manner can serve as a deterrent and promote responsible decision-making.

In some cases, destructive behavior may be indicative of underlying emotional or psychological issues. It is important for parents to recognize when to seek professional help. Consulting with therapists, counselors, or other mental health professionals can provide valuable support and guidance in understanding and addressing the root causes of the destructive behavior.

Encouraging teenagers to engage in healthy outlets for their emotions can be an effective strategy. This could include participating in sports, joining clubs or organizations, or pursuing creative activities. Physical exercise, creative expression, and social connections can help teenagers channel their frustrations and negative emotions in a positive way.

It's important to recognize and address any unhealthy family dynamics that may contribute to destructive behavior. Family therapy or counseling can provide a platform for open communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening family bonds. By fostering a supportive and nurturing environment, parents can create a strong foundation for healthier interactions and prevent incidents of revenge-driven destruction.

Teaching teenagers the importance of taking responsibility for their actions is crucial in preventing destructive behavior. By encouraging accountability, parents can empower teenagers to learn from their mistakes, make amends, and grow as individuals. This includes apologizing and finding ways to repair the damage caused by their destructive actions.

Positive peer relationships play a significant role in promoting healthy behavior. Encouraging teenagers to surround themselves with supportive and like-minded friends can reduce the chances of destructive behavior influenced by negative peer pressure. By fostering a sense of belonging and connection, parents can help their teenagers navigate the challenges of adolescence more effectively.

Parents must never underestimate the power of their influence on their teenagers' behavior. Modeling healthy communication, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution skills are essential. By leading by example, parents can instill values, empathy, and resilience in their teenagers, helping them make positive choices and reducing the likelihood of destructive revenge scenarios.

In conclusion, understanding why teenagers may resort to destroying their parents' property for revenge is essential in finding proactive solutions. By fostering open communication, setting boundaries, and providing support, parents can empower their teenagers to handle their anger in healthy ways.

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The Negative Consequences of Strict Parenting: Tips for Parents with ASD

Some parents on the autism spectrum can be overly-strict with their children. In this article, I'll be discussing the negative consequences of this style of parenting. It's important to understand that while discipline is necessary, being overly strict can have detrimental effects on a child's development.

One of the consequences of strict parenting is that it often leads to limited emotional expression in children. When parents are too strict, children may become afraid to express their true emotions, fearing punishment or rejection. This can hinder their ability to develop healthy emotional skills and can even lead to emotional suppression later in life.

Strict parenting can also result in low self-esteem in children. Constant criticism, harsh punishments, and unrealistic expectations can chip away at a child's self-confidence. They may start doubting their abilities and develop a negative self-image. This can have long-lasting effects on their sense of self-worth and overall happiness.

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Overly strict parenting can hinder a child's ability to develop independence. When parents control every aspect of their child's life, it leaves little room for them to make decisions and develop problem-solving skills. As a result, they may struggle in adulthood when faced with real-world challenges and decision-making.

Children raised by overly strict parents often face difficulties in building social skills. Strict rules and limited freedom can make it challenging for them to interact with their peers and establish meaningful relationships. This can lead to feelings of isolation and hinder their ability to navigate social situations effectively.

Strict parenting can contribute to higher levels of anxiety and stress in children. Constant pressure to meet unrealistic expectations and the fear of punishment can create a highly stressful environment. This can have a negative impact on their mental health, leading to anxiety disorders and other stress-related conditions.

Overly strict parenting can result in rebellion and resentment in children. When they feel suffocated and controlled, they may resort to rebellious behavior as a means of asserting their independence. This can strain the parent-child relationship and create a hostile home environment.

Strict parenting often leads to excessive academic pressure on children. Parents may set unrealistically high standards and place immense pressure on their children to achieve top grades. This can have negative effects on their mental well-being and hinder their overall academic performance.

Children who grow up with overly strict parents often struggle with problem-solving skills. Since their parents make most decisions for them, they may not have the opportunity to develop critical thinking and problem-solving abilities. This can impact their ability to handle challenges and obstacles effectively in adulthood.

Another consequence of strict parenting is that it can hinder a child's ability to express their individuality. When parents enforce rigid rules and expectations, children may feel compelled to conform and suppress their unique interests and desires. This can lead to a lack of self-discovery and self-expression in the long run.

Overly strict parenting can strain the parent-child relationship. Harsh punishments, lack of trust, and constant control can create a distance between parent and child. This can result in a breakdown of communication and a strained bond that may be difficult to repair.

Children raised in overly strict households may experience difficulties in their future relationships. The lack of emotional expression, low self-esteem, and poor social skills acquired in childhood can impact their ability to form healthy and fulfilling relationships later in life.

Strict parenting can make it challenging for children to cope with failure. As they are constantly under pressure to meet high expectations, failure can be devastating for them. They may struggle with resilience and may be afraid to take risks in fear of disappointing their parents.

Overly strict parenting can limit a child's creativity and innovation. When they are bound by rules and expectations, it leaves little space for imagination and exploration. This can hinder their ability to think outside the box and stifle their growth in creative fields.

In conclusion, it's important to find a balance between discipline and flexibility as a parent. Being overly strict can have long-term negative consequences on a child's emotional, social, and mental well-being. By fostering a nurturing and supportive environment, we can give our children the tools they need to thrive and lead fulfilling lives.

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Vaping and the Negative Impact on Your Teenager’s Health

Vaping has become increasingly popular among young people, but it is crucial to understand the risks associated with this habit. Before we explore the dangers, let's start by understanding what vaping is. Vaping refers to the inhalation of aerosolized substances, typically through an electronic cigarette or similar device. These devices heat a liquid, often containing nicotine or other chemicals, producing a vapor that can be inhaled. Many believe that vaping is a safer alternative to smoking, but the truth is, it comes with its own set of risks and hazards.

When it comes to the dangers of vaping, the most prominent concern is the impact on our health. Vaping has been linked to various health risks including lung damage, respiratory issues, and cardiovascular problems. The chemicals present in the vaping liquid can cause inflammation and irritation in the lungs, leading to severe lung diseases such as popcorn lung. Additionally, the nicotine content in e-cigarettes can have detrimental effects on brain development, especially in young individuals.

Another critical aspect to consider is the addictive nature of vaping. Nicotine, a highly addictive substance, is commonly found in e-cigarettes, hookah pens, and other vaping devices. The addictive properties of nicotine can lead to dependency and make it challenging for individuals to quit vaping. Over time, the addiction can affect various aspects of life, including mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.

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One of the most alarming aspects of vaping is its impact on youth. Vaping has gained popularity among teenagers and young adults, often enticing them with appealing flavors and stylish designs. This widespread use among the youth is concerning as it can lead to a lifelong addiction and potential health complications. It is crucial to educate the younger generation about the dangers of vaping and encourage them to make informed decisions.

Apart from the well-known risks, vaping also poses hidden dangers. There have been cases where e-cigarette devices have exploded, causing severe injuries and burns. The faulty batteries in these devices can be a significant safety hazard. Moreover, the act of vaping itself can lead to accidents due to impaired judgment, especially when done while driving or engaging in other activities.

The marketing tactics employed by vaping companies are another concern to address. They often target young individuals through strategic advertising, catchy slogans, and endorsements by influencers. These marketing strategies can normalize vaping culture, making it seem trendy and harmless. It is important to be aware of such tactics and understand that the marketing messages may not always reflect the reality of the dangers associated with vaping.

Not only does vaping pose risks to the individuals engaging in it, but it also affects those around them. Second-hand vaping refers to the inhalation of exhaled e-cigarette aerosol by non-users. This can expose bystanders, friends, and family members to harmful chemicals, further emphasizing the importance of creating a smoke-free environment.

Understanding the regulatory framework and legality surrounding vaping is crucial. Laws and regulations regarding vaping differ across jurisdictions, and it is essential to be aware of the rules in your specific location. Some countries have imposed restrictions on the sale and marketing of vaping products, whereas others have banned them altogether. Staying informed about the legal implications will help you make informed choices.

If you or someone you know is struggling with vaping addiction, here are some tips to quit. Firstly, seek support from friends, family, or support groups. They can provide guidance and encouragement throughout the journey. Secondly, gradually reduce nicotine intake by choosing lower nicotine concentration e-liquids or using nicotine replacement therapies. Lastly, engage in healthy alternatives and activities that can help distract from cravings, such as exercise or hobbies.

To combat the dangers of vaping, educational initiatives play a vital role. Schools, communities, and healthcare organizations can collaborate to raise awareness about the risks and consequences of vaping. Education should focus on providing accurate information, debunking myths, and equipping individuals with the knowledge to make informed decisions.

Research studies have consistently highlighted the dangers of vaping. According to the National Academy of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, there is substantial evidence that vaping is associated with adverse health effects, including lung injury and nicotine addiction. Various scientific publications and government agencies around the world have echoed these findings, further emphasizing the need to address this growing public health concern.

Parents play a crucial role in preventing and addressing vaping among their children. Open communication, setting clear expectations, and being aware of the signs of vaping can all contribute to a proactive approach. It is essential for parents to educate themselves about the dangers of vaping and have conversations with their children, emphasizing the risks and promoting healthy alternatives.

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Help for Distraught Parents of Defiant Teenagers: Discipline Methods That WORK!

One day you wake up and find that life has changed forever. Instead of greeting you with a hug, your little boy rolls his eyes when you say "good morning" and shouts, "You're ruining my life!" You may think you've stepped into the Twilight Zone, but you've actually been thrust into your son's teen years.

During adolescence, teens start to break away from parents and become "their own person." Some talk back, ignore rules and slack off at school. Others may sneak out or break curfew. Still others experiment with alcohol, tobacco or drugs. So how can you tell the difference between normal teen rebellion versus dangerous behavior? And what's the best way for a parent to respond?

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Many families of defiant children live in a home that has become a battleground. In the beginning, the daily struggles can be expected. After all, we knew that problems would occur. Initially, stress can be so subtle that we lose sight of a war, which others do not realize is occurring. We honestly believe that we can work through the problems.

Outbursts, rages, and strife become a way of life (an emotionally unhealthy way of life). We set aside our own needs and focus on the needs of our children. But what does it cost us?

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The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing teens with serious behavioral problems. Disrespect, anger, violent rages, self-injury, running away from home, school failure, hanging-out with the wrong crowd, drug abuse, theft, and legal problems are just some of the behaviors that parents of defiant teens will have to learn to control.

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Parenting Kids and Teens with Emotional & Behavioral Issues - On FACEBOOK


Dear Parents,

Join our new Facebook "private group" that provides support and education for parents of children and teenagers who exhibit difficult and destructive behavioral patterns associated with ADHD, ODD, ASD, anxiety disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, learning disorders, conduct disorders, OCD, PTSD, and much more.

Look for great content on a daily basis. We will be providing a lot of videos and articles that will offer instruction and moral support for parents who are at their "wits-end."


How do I get my over-achieving daughter to slow down?

"I have taken the quiz and surprisingly found that I was a severely over indulgent parent. This angers me because I didn't think...