One day you wake up and find that life has changed forever. Instead of greeting you with a hug, your
little boy
rolls his eyes when you say "good morning" and shouts, "You're ruining
my life!" You may think you've stepped into the Twilight Zone, but
you've actually been thrust into your son's teen years.
During
adolescence, teens start to break away from parents and become "their
own person." Some talk back, ignore rules and slack off at school.
Others may sneak out or break curfew. Still others experiment with
alcohol, tobacco or drugs. So how can you tell the difference between
normal teen rebellion versus
dangerous behavior? And what's the best way for a parent to respond?
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Many families of defiant children live in a home that has become a
battleground. In the beginning, the daily struggles can be expected.
After all, we knew that problems would occur. Initially, stress can be
so subtle that we lose sight of a war, which others do not realize is
occurring. We honestly believe that we can work through the problems.
Outbursts,
rages, and strife become a way of life (an emotionally unhealthy way of
life). We set aside our own needs and focus on the needs of our
children. But what does it cost us?
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The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical”
teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing teens with
serious behavioral problems. Disrespect, anger, violent rages,
self-injury, running away from home, school failure, hanging-out with
the wrong crowd, drug abuse, theft, and legal problems are just some of
the behaviors that parents of defiant teens will have to learn to
control.
