Posts

Showing posts from 2020

Should You Make Your Defiant Teen "Earn" His Way Off Discipline?

Image
Hi L., This is Mark, and I’ve responded where you see these arrows: >>>>>>>>> Thanks for your answer Mark. I really appreciate how quickly you respond. You must get hundreds of emails every day from desperate parents! Re the fighting: I understand what you are saying and I agree with your analysis. This is what we did for many years when E___ was very small. I never felt safe leaving the 2 kids alone. The last few days I have been successful in keeping my 'poker face' although i see that I have to work on being consistent and keeping to the said consequence. Here is a scenario that just played out. My kids say I am being unfair. Could you please give me some feedback and any advice? This afternoon I was taking my kids B___ 11 yo (the intense one) and E___ 7 yo to the grocery store and said we would get an ice cream. >>>>>>>>>> What did they do to earn this privilege (i.e., ice cream)? As I stopped for...

Issuing Consequences: Effective Methods for Parents of Defiant Teenagers

Image
Consequences can be used to discourage unacceptable behavior in defiant adolescents . Usually this will occur after other techniques have been tried unsuccessfully. In summary, consequences: are given to help defiant adolescents establish boundaries are more effective when discussed in a matter-of-fact manner from a caring and controlled point of view help moms and dads present their adolescents with fundamental life lessons while helping adolescents recall what they learned from these disciplinary actions should be applied consistently (i.e., the behavior disciplined today will again be disciplined  next week if needed) should be clearly explained, related to the behavior, and completed as soon as possible should never be given in anger should not be confused with punishment Also, behavior disciplined for one child will not be allowed for others. This consistency lowers anxiety by making the environment predictable. "Discipline” means to teach, and positive disc...

“Parenting my angry rebellious teenage daughter is SO HARD!"

Image
Hi S., I’ve responded to each of your points below. Please look for these arrows: >> >>>>> Good Morning, To begin, I just wanted to say that I joined your online program a few days ago and it has already been so helpful. There seems to be an ample supply of resources in my commu nity for parenting young children, but haven't come across much for parenting the pre-teen and teen age s. I've been studying the materials and started implementing the strategies therein. Which has now brought about a couple of questions I could use some support on. First, a few days ago I removed my daughter's computer privilege for the 3 day time frame. I didn't engage in the power struggle, simply explained the consequence, and stated I wasn't going to argue. The first day went surprisingly well. She did say my rules were dumb and asked for clarification about how long and when she would get computer time back. I told her if there we re no more occurr...

Parenting Children and Teens Who Are Oppositional and Defiant

Image
==> Effective Disciplinary Techniques for Defiant Teens and Preteens

Oppositional Defiant Disorder [ODD]: Questions & Answers

Image
==> Help for Parents of Children and Teens with ODD (and comorbid ADHD)