ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Just when you thought you’ve seen it all in drug abuse among teens, here comes a new drug reportedly more potent than heroin and more dangerous than crack: bath salts. "Bath salts" (mephedrone and methylenedioxypyrovalerone) or MDPV has been responsible for sending scores of teenagers to the emergency rooms across the country. The number of emergency related incident calls related to this widely available drug skyrocketed from 235 calls last year to 246 calls in January of this year alone. The “bath salts” being sold contain cathinone, which is a plant grown in Africa. It affects the neurotransmitters in the brain much like meth or crack would. However, there is no government regulation at this time because of the fact that it is not manufactured for human consumption. Louisiana currently is being hardest hit with deaths and serious injuries because of ingested bath salts. “Bath salts” has been sold under the street names of Cloud 9, Ivory Wave, Ocean, Charge Plus, ...

Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. As your step-child's parent, however, you are an influential adult in his or her life. As such, you have an immense opportunity and responsibility to help your angry step-child learn to cope with anger and express those feelings in ways that are positive and healthy. Before we look at specific ways to manage aggressive and angry outbursts in step-children, several points should be considered: • Anger and aggression do not have to be dirty words. In looking at aggressive behavior in step-children, we must be careful to distinguish between behavior that indicates emotional problems and behavior that is normal. • In dealing with angry step-children, the step-parent’s actions should be motivated by the need to protect and to reach, not by a desire to punish. Step-parents should show the child that they accept his or her feelings, while suggesting other ways to express the feelings. Also, ways must be found to communicate what we expect of ...

Most moms and dads are challenged with getting their kids to clean up their bedrooms. One way to shift this struggle is to realize that it is important to the mother or father BUT NOT to the youngster to have a clean bedroom. When you are willing to change the experience of cleaning from a power-struggle with associated rewards and punishments to a pleasant experience associated with fun, love and connection, children are more likely to cooperate, sensing how good it feels to actually have everything in its place. They then take into their adulthood an inner desire to live in a clean, organized environment rather than associating “cleaning” with a dreaded chore to avoid at all costs. Here are some suggestions for making clean bedrooms possible -- and defusing the power struggles: 1. Advance your youngster's privileges as he takes more responsibility for keeping his bedroom clean. Let your youngster know that if he keeps his room clean, it'll show he's mature enou...

Nobody wants to raise a spoiled youngster. But striking a balance between nurturing and over-protection can be hard. Just how much is too much? There are no scientific facts about spoiled kids, no hard facts detailing the subject. However, there are plenty of moms and dads who worry about being over-protective toward their children, and plenty of professionals who have opinions on the matter. A good definition of a spoiled youngster is “one with a sense of entitlement” (e.g., “I deserve whatever I want – and I shouldn’t have to work for it”). This is a youngster who is more interested in herself than in others. Moms and dads who are over-protective and all-giving contribute to this sense of entitlement. What does "over-protective" parenting have to do with having a spoiled child? Over-protective parents don't want their youngster to fail, so they do everything in their power to make sure this doesn't happen. But at a certain point, these moms and dads are no ...

Sibling conflict is the jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers and sisters.  It is a concern for almost all moms and dads of two or more children. Problems often start right after the birth of the second youngster.  Sibling conflict usually continues throughout childhood and can be very frustrating and stressful to moms and dads.  There are lots of things parents can do to help their children get along better and work through sibling rivalry in positive ways. There are many factors that contribute to sibling conflict: • Kids feel they are getting unequal amounts of your attention, discipline, and responsiveness. • Kids may feel their relationship with their moms and dads is threatened by the arrival of a new baby. • Kids may not know positive ways to get attention from or start playful activities with a brother or sister, so they pick fights instead. • Kids often fight more in families where moms and dads think aggression and fighting between...

  Becoming a Stepmother? The prospect of creating a blended family can evoke feelings of excitement, relief, nervousness and worry in a future stepmother. Experiencing a wide variety of feelings is normal and common. Because building a successful blended family requires a lot of energy and commitment, it is important for the future stepmother to talk to her future husband about what they expect from each other and their new family, both before and after the marriage occurs. This enables them to discuss important issues and can help them avoid serious problems down the road. It is critical to have realistic expectations and goals for blended family life. Time spent wisely during courtship can lay a foundation for positive blended family relationships. Beginning a new family requires careful consideration. Think about these questions: How have you managed the strong feelings about your former spouse? To what extent do these feelings affect your present relationship with yo...

Mark Twain is said to have advised that when a youngster turns 13, his mother or father should put him in a barrel, close the lid, and feed him through a hole in the side.  Then, when he turns 16, plug up the hole . A tween is a child between the ages of 9 and 12 (but this age could sometimes extend up to the age of 15). The child thinks she’s a teenager – but she’s not quite there yet. It is a relatively recent term used to describe a distinct period in life in which kids are still kids, but are starting to develop a more realistic view of the world, similar to adolescents. Tweens are developing a more realistic view of the world in several ways: increased feelings of independence more developed sense of self and identity more mature, sensible, realistic thoughts and actions more nuanced view of human relationships (e.g., they may notice the flawed, human side of adult authority figures more readily than they would at a younger age) more nuanced view of morality mor...

"I'm the mom of an 18 yr. old boy, and I have always had to be the 'bad guy' throughout his and his sister's lives as my husband has NEVER given either of them a consequence EVER. My daughter seems to be doing fine, but we have had lots of issues with my son. My son has cussed at me and my husband just stands there and says nothing. My husband has also put me down in front of my son. I think that was because he wants our son to 'like him'. This has more than damaged my marriage, and I am fearful that my son will treat his wife the same way some day. I feel it is too late in my circumstance. My friends say that some day my son will think of me with respect because I did stand up to him and have expectations for him. I hope I live to see it. I love him dearly and just want him to have a happy and successful life."  There are some families in which the parents’ beliefs about changing children’s behavior are so different that their attempts at discip...

"I need advice on how to deal with a very demanding 15 y.o. brat (sorry)!" As a parent, you know all too well that some kids will simply not take “no” for an answer.  Just as they need to learn the importance of saying “please” and “thank you,” they need to learn how to appropriately make requests. If you are the mother or father of a demanding son or daughter, rest assured that this is not a new problem and there are many parents in the same boat. Here's some help on this issue... 20 tips for dealing with demanding children: 1.  The goal for parents is to immediately respond to demands with (a) choices, (b) consequences, and (c) consistent follow-through in order to avoid power struggles and tantrums. If this is a new approach for you, the youngster will probably still have tantrums in response to this new approach. In fact, his reactions may seem to be more extreme before it improves, because he is testing new limits. Your youngster wants to see if you will re...