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How To Curtail Oppositional Defiant Behavior

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is a troublesome pattern of defiant, disobedient and hostile behavior in kids and teenagers, toward authority figures that continues for a period of at least six months. The base prevalence rate for ODD is somewhere between 1 and 16 percent, yet surveys from non-clinical samples range between 6 and10 percent. So, at minimum, 1 to 16 percent of kids and teens in school (or of school-age) has ODD. Also, the disorder most frequently appears in boys in multiple contexts, and manifests before the age of 8 years. Behaviors included in ODD are: • argues excessively with adults and authority figures • blames others • can be manipulative, spiteful and revenge-seeking • does not take responsibility for behavior • gets annoyed and angry easily • intentionally annoys others • intentionally defies and disobeys requests and questions rules • is stubborn • refuses to follow rules The youngster may say hurtful or mean things when ang...

"Punishment" Creates Problems -- "Discipline" Resolves Problems

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“Punishing” teenagers often creates more discipline problems than it solves. I define punishment as anything that causes blame, shame or pain. When moms and dads focus on blaming, shaming and causing pain to their teenager, his or her brain's limbic system reacts with intense defense. When a parent punishes teenagers, they don’t react with remorse and a “how can I make it better” attitude. Instead, they react with one of the "Four R’s", which leads to increased discipline problems. Moms and dads use punishment because it “appears” to stop misbehavior immediately (and sometimes does). Sometimes we must beware of what works when the long-term results are negative. The long-term results of punishment are that children usually adopt one or all of the Four R’s of Punishment: Rebellion Resentment Retreat (avoiding contact/conversation with the parent) Revenge When a teenager reacts with one or more of the "Four R’s", he is not focused on “life lesson...