Struggling every day to get my 8 year old up and ready...

"I am still struggling every day to get my 8 year old up and ready for, well now its day camp, not school. She procrastinates, goes back to bed. I remain calm and don't react, but it’s the struggle every day going thru this. What can I do? What are consequences for this? I have learned and doing very well to keep a poker straight face thru it all. Please advise."

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Develop a bedtime routine. Bedtime routines can be simple—something families can commit to on a nightly basis. After dinner, children have quiet playtime. Then they have a bath, put on pajamas, and have a story read by mom or dad before bedtime at 8 pm. As children get older, they get to help make decisions about the bedtime routine. You can say, ‘You can read a chapter or two or play a game with your sibling, but then it’s lights out.’

Most children do not get enough sleep. How much sleep do they need?

Age	Sleep each day
1-3 years	12-14 hours
3-5 years	11-13 hours
5-12 years	10-11 hours
Teenagers	8.5-9.5 hours
Adults	8 hours

It is recommended that school-aged children get between 10-11 hours of nightly sleep. At bedtime, do not allow your child to have foods or drinks that contain caffeine. This includes chocolate and sodas. Try not to give him or her any medicine that has a stimulant at bedtime. This includes cough medicines and decongestants.

Establish a relaxing setting at bedtime. Follow a consistent bedtime routine. Set aside 10 to 30 minutes to get your child ready to go to sleep each night. Interact with your child at bedtime. Don’t let the TV, computer or video games take your place. Keep your children from TV programs, movies, and video games that are not right for their age.

Also, do not let your 8-year-old stay up late on weekends.

Re: Consequences for not getting up on time. Please refer to the strategy entitled “When You Want Something From Your Kid” [Session #3 – online version of the eBook].

Mark

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How to Stop Sibling-Bullying: Tips for Parents

I have been listening and reading through your material and, so far, I am impressed. With a degree in special education, I have taken several behavioral management courses over the years and I have read several books. This material seems to be written specifically for my family! My son is 13 and the oldest of 5. I definitely notice a difference in my son's behavior when we focus more on the positive and state expectations clearly and specifically.

My husband and I struggle with the ability to remain calm when the actions of my son affect our other 4 children. I try not to blame or accuse because that just leads to an argument and denial. I have tried pointing out to my son that he is tired and perhaps should stay away from his siblings who are "annoying" him until he is not so irritable. However, my son continues to aggravate and instigate which most of the time leads to someone getting hurt physically and/or emotionally. My question is: How do I keep a poker face and redirect or remove my child from a situation that he is hurting others when he simply does not listen?? After I have tried several attempts, I often lose my temper...which is exactly what he wants!! Should I just remove my other children from the situation and try to ignore my son?

My husband and I will continue to read over and listen to your material. I have every confidence that this program will work for us. It says what I have been saying for years...my child is not bad...it is his behavior that needs to be addressed and he needs help in learning how make better choices.

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The Tail Is Wagging The Dog

Mark,

I have been putting your principles into practise for a few months now and everything was going well until my sons best friend came back into his life big time. His girlfriend dropped him two weeks ago and he had been kicked out of both his mothers and fathers house because they cannot live with his behaviour any more, this child has uncontrollable tempers and word around the place is he is on steroids. How do I get my son back on track and to accept that his friend is a bad egg.

He stayed out all night because I was mad with him, he is not responding to the consequences unless I change them. He is now 17 and I know he would be scared if I really threw him out, but I am scared if it backfires. If I call the police when he stays out, is this not going to backfire and make him so wild with me? What normally happens in this case? Can you give some advice?

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