ODD vs. PD

What is the difference between Oppositional Defiant Disorder and a Personality Disorder?



Mark Hutten, M.A.

Stepfathers are often viewed as "second-class citizens"...

Hi Mark... Thanks for the link worked perfectly...with regard the first set of assignments i am struggling a fair bit mentally with applying the Love one.. My Husband is L____'s step father and has struggled with her a great deal from the start of our 8year marriage but more especially the last two years, she is 16... she has HUGE issues around him and for him to start saying he loved her EVERY nite would seem almost mission impossible, from him and she would find it very odd to say the least...even I am finding the whole thing confronting but can give it a good shot... I noticed on the side column of that page u said that it was OK to not say it every nite... What do you think...?? I am assuming that D___ needs to implement all the approaches just as much as I do for the picture to change??

Thanks So much...

Regards B.

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Hi B.,

Unfortunately, stepfathers are often viewed as "second-class citizens" in the eyes of many stepchildren.

The statement "I love you daughter" will have more meaning coming from you rather than her stepfather. However, D___ could occasionally offer a sincere compliment to your daughter that will have a near-equal effect.

In any event, I think it will be O.K. for your husband not to say "I love you" if it will seem awkward and out-of-character for him.

Mark

Online Parent Support

He and his group of friends are starting to drink alcohol...

Hi M.,

I've responded throughout your email below:

Mark,

First of all, thank you for your program. I am beginning session 3 and so far, I've seen some good changes between my 16 year old son and myself. We don't argue nearly as much as we use to. Sometimes I have to catch myself but for the most part, it is getting better. I was definitely the over indulgent parent and am trying to fix my mistakes. I am also a single mom.

My problem with my son is that I believe he and his group of friends are starting to drink alcohol. What is the best way to handle this problem.

==> Please refer to the "Read These Emails From Exasperated Parents" [session #4 - online version]. You will be using "The Six-Step Approach" that is also discussed in session #4.

I've also noticed that his group of friends are changing. Some of the new guys in the group are ones that he has told me that are known drinkers. I am probably a bad person for doing this, but I have read his text messages where some of his friends have talked about getting alcohol or have been drinking themselves and I always check his room or outside where they sometimes camp out to see if there are any cans or bottles. I'm not naive to think that he's never tried drinking but I don't want him to start a bad habit if he hasn't already. If I do catch him drinking or intoxicated what should I do?

==> Again, refer to the areas of the eBook listed above.

My brother who is a probation officer in a different county told me about how a school sold alcohol breath testing things (sorry not sure of the official name) and said he could possibly get me one. I have not talked to my brother about my son's possible drinking.

==> Home breathalyzers are great if your son comes home visibly under the influence or smells of alcohol - and he agrees to the test. But he will not likely submit to testing since you don't have the authority to jail him if he refuses. Also, one shot of whiskey - or a 12 ounce beer - or a 7 ounce glass of wine metabolizes in just one hour, and a breathalyzer test will not detect any alcohol. So you would have to test him fairly quickly.

 
Mark

 
==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents