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Another school year is quickly coming to a close. What is your high school senior planning to do next? Anything? If not, uh oh! Shame on you. Preparing your child for high school graduation and then college should begin long before the senior year of high school. Adolescents who are still juniors should give some thought to finishing high school and preparing for higher education or a career. Here are some tips that moms and dads (who may have procrastinated up to this point) can use to help their adolescents ensure a timely and complete high school graduation, and then prepare for college: 1. First of all, preparing an adolescent for high school graduation and then college is not something that can be done in a month or a year. It is something that moms and dads should begin thinking about - and planning for - emotionally and physically as soon as their teenager is ready. By offering the teen an opportunity for growth and responsibility, parents will find that as college appr...

Moms and dads are often shocked that defiant behaviors can rise during and after spring break week. Even though the break has its value, there is also a sense of grief at its ending. So, don't be surprised if your child has a hard time getting his or her academic motors started again. Defiant behavior often comes in waves. If spring has brought on a bad case of "bad" behavior in your youngster, here are some possible explanations – and what to do about them: 1. Your youngster may not have the body awareness or language skills necessary to explain to you about the tingle in his nose or the pressure in his sinuses, but the light-headedness and "spacey" feeling that often accompanies allergies may leave your child feeling distracted and disoriented. If itchy eyes, sniffles or headaches accompany the onset of defiant behavior in your home, check with your doctor about the possibility of an allergy diagnosis. 2. As your child’s spring fever continues to b...

Even the most insightful mother or father makes mistakes when it comes to raising children – especially preschoolers who are at the age where they begin to assert their independence for the first time (similar to when they become teenagers). You can't erase your worst parenting moments, but with some introspection, you can keep from repeating them. Even “parenting experts” who are also parents themselves admit that they have moments when they wish they could have hit rewind on their parental performances. It may seem like your defiant preschooler has the innate ability to push you to the outer edge of sanity. Fear not – you're not alone. Preschoolers want to own their newly discovered autonomy, but they also want the close attention and love of their parents.  Here are 12 common mistakes that moms and dads of preschoolers make – and some clever fixes to help resolve problems: Mistake #1— Be inconsistent: Few things can confuse your defiant preschooler more tha...

Defiant children are usually raised in homes where limits are too lenient or inconsistent. One or both parents may not be available to give the youngster any attention. The mom or dad may also demonstrate defiant behavior.  Do you lean more toward the lenient side? Are your rules often inconsistent? Do you have little time to spend with your child? Do you get angry with your child (e.g., yell, nag). If so, then you are on the right track for making defiant behavior worse. Below are some more ideas... 10 tips for making defiant behavior worse: Add more and more consequences. Don’t follow through with consequences and try to be inconsistent. Engage in confrontation in front your child’s peers or siblings. Fight every parent-child battle that comes along, regardless of how big or small the problem is. Get annoyed at every little thing your child does wrong. Let power-struggles go on for a long time. Lose your temper (e.g., yell or use sarcasm to escalate the probl...

Severe aggression can a problem for kids with both normal development, and those with psychosocial disturbances. There is no single theory about the causes of severe aggressive behavior in children. Some theorists believe it is innate or instinctive, others suggest the breakdown in commonly shared values, changes in traditional family patterns of child-rearing, and social isolation lead to severe aggression. Aggressive behavior may be intentional or unintentional. Many hyperactive, clumsy kids are accidentally aggressive, but their intentions are compassionate. Kids in all age groups learn that aggressive behavior is a powerful way to communicate their wishes or deal with their likes and dislikes. In any event, here are some ideas on how parents can teach their aggressive children to exercise more self-control: 1. As the parent, don’t react aggressively to your child’s aggression. It’s easy to become outraged at an abusive, violent youngster – especially an older one who proba...

Almost 750,000 adolescents become pregnant each year in the United States. Fifty-nine percent of those pregnancies result in birth. Some adolescent mothers are often left with little support from friends, family and the dad of the youngster. Government agencies, charities and foundations have put together programs that involve housing, food resources and mentoring so that adolescent mothers and their kids can have the best start possible. Some of these are listed below: WIC, or Women, Infants and Children, is a government-sponsored program run through the Food and Nutrition Service that is operated on the state level to offer quality food to low income families. Adolescent mothers can apply for items such as formula, milk and basic food items through the state. WIC also offers breastfeeding and nutrition resources, health care and other support through their agencies. WIC conducts periodical interviews to ensure the health of the kids and the mom's ongoing need for assistance...

Your teenager is doing poorly – both academically and behaviorally – in high school. And he has just announced that he wants to drop out and get his GED. Given his turbulent history, you are starting to wonder if it might be the better route to go. Sound familiar? Before discussing the specifics of a GED, you need to determine if your teen will be eligible to take the exam. The GED has certain eligibility prerequisites. The student: must meet certain state requirements (varies state to state) must not be currently enrolled in - or have graduated from - high school needs to be age 16 or older If your teen passes the above requirement, the next few paragraphs talk about specifics of the GED. The teen is awarded a GED after she passes every one of the five sections of the GED with a 60 % or higher score than the sample set of graduating high school seniors. The sections are: Language Arts/Reading, Language Arts/Writing, Mathematics, Science and Social Studies. Depending o...

Defiant teens know how to push their parents' buttons. Instinctively, they come with an arsenal of tools to get what they want, avoid getting into trouble, or cause their moms and dads to blow a fuse out of frustration. This is called manipulative behavior. There are smart ways to counteract the manipulation. Below are some important suggestions on what you can do if you have a defiant, manipulative teen. How to Deal with Manipulative Behavior: 1. Agree on strategies to deal with your adolescent's manipulative behavior with your spouse/partner. For example, if you tell your adolescent that she can't go out on a Friday night until she finishes her homework, it will be useless unless your spouse/partner tells her the same thing. If an adolescent does not get her way with one parent, she may go to the weaker parent to get what she wants. 2. Be consistent. Learn to say “no” with some strength behind it when you mean it. If your “no” often becomes a “yes” because your ...

How many times have you said something like, “My child can focus on TV, movies or video games for hours, but getting her to complete homework is like pulling teeth”? Kids, even defiant ones, usually don’t consciously choose to fail. Yet, your child refuses to do her homework, which causes her to fail. Neither you nor your child know why she is sabotaging herself. Most moms and dads struggle with getting their youngster to complete homework after school.  Rarely is a kid ever eager to get back to work when she returns home from a long day in the classroom. To minimize “homework battles” (i.e., parent-child conflict over homework), you need to understand why your child is resistant to doing homework in the first place.  Here are just a few possibilities: Your child doesn’t understand the work and needs some extra help. It’s possible that your youngster doesn’t want to do his homework because he really needs help.  Also, it can be challenging for moms and dads...

The best way to diagnose a behavioral problem in a young defiant child (ages 3 to 6) is by consistent observation over several weeks – or even months. By observing your defiant youngster over a lengthy period of time, it becomes easier to identify patterns of behavior, and therefore discern potential triggers for problem behaviors. Observing and recording your youngster's problematic behavior can provide clues about his or her strengths and weaknesses, and help you gain valuable information about how your youngster thinks, feels, learns and reacts in a variety of situations and environments.  Here’s how to conduct an investigation: Develop some investigation questions. What are you trying to discover about your youngster? Write down some questions that you hope to answer through observation (e.g., "Why does my son get very angry, agitated, and sometimes physically aggressive when playing board games with his siblings?"). Divide a piece of paper into 3 section...

"Discipline” means to teach, and positive discipline helps teens learn to effectively solve problems and manage conflicts. A parent who is angry with the child should calm down before deciding a consequence, and if applicable, should consult with the other parent before doing so. Parents should regularly discuss the effectiveness of consequences for the specific child, and should always support each other in the positive discipline process of their defiant teens.   CLICK HERE for the full article...

Some behaviors of defiant teenagers are bids for attention, while others are expressions of frustration at not feeling understood. Moms and dads will be able to reduce problem behaviors when the adolescent feels genuinely cared about, understood, and paid attention to. The best way to accomplish this is through “active listening” – a simple, yet highly under-rated parenting strategy. Active listening is hard work, and takes energy and practice. This is why most parents don’t do it (a BIG parenting mistake!). It can’t be done when thinking about - or attending to - other things, or when distractions occur. Active listening doesn’t have to last a long time, but attention must be focused completely on the adolescent, and the message must be communicated back to the adolescent in the parent’s own words in a way that lets the adolescent know he or she was really heard. Tone of voice, respect for personal space, facial expressions, eye contact, choices of words, and body language are ...

Researchers have known for a long time that the use of positive reinforcement for appropriate behaviors is a key element in effective interventions for defiant behavior in kids and teens. If the majority of parent-child interactions are focused around correcting misbehavior, a cycle of negative interactions is created where the youngster expects attention after misbehaving. On the other hand, positive reinforcement not only builds a youngster's self-esteem, but also serves to strengthen the parent-child bond. To accomplish this, positive reinforcement should occur immediately after the youngster has exhibited an appropriate behavior. There are many different types of reinforcers that can be used to increase desired behaviors, but the type of reinforcer used depends on the child’s personality, age, and the particular circumstance (e.g., while tokens might be very effective reinforcement for a 6-year-old child, they are not going to have the same effect with a teenager): T...