ONLINE PARENTING COACH: Search results for troubled teens

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Testimonials

I just wanted to share some wonderful emails from members of Online Parent Support:

“OPS is very thorough and has helped me and my family immensely. My husband and I have a better understanding now! Since completing the program, my son Jonathon has brought his grades up 35%, and he is getting praise from teachers. The Assistant Principal wrote a letter describing improvements in Jonathan’s behavior and gave it to me at the parent-teacher conference.”

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“We thank everyone involved with this program. We are using the techniques we have learned on ALL of our children, not just the one we were having trouble with.”

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“I found OPS very helpful, even though our child was already in placement at a juvenile facility. Wish we had taken this course years ago.”

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“I looked forward to each session. It was my support to get through the week. Plus I looked forward to what new things to learn to help with my child. Thanks for your help. Thanks for being there."

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“Everything was helpful. I wish I had known about this class 3 years ago. I hope we haven’t waited too long to try these parenting techniques.”

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"I am very pleased to know I have somewhere I can come for help -- and I thank you for your help!"

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“OPS was straight forward and concise. It was good to see another approach. I wish we had started using these techniques earlier."

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“This program should be mandatory for some parents!"

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"I remember feeling so helpless, like I couldn't do anything about the chaos and drama in my home. I told myself, 'If you haven't got the power, there is nothing you can do about your situation' ...Seeing myself as helpless insured paralysis and provided a powerful rationale for doing nothing. But now I feel empowered -- because most of the things I'm trying actually work."

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"I pretended that things were getting better on their own, but this pretending took the place of the effort required to bring about real change. That's all over now. I'm taking responsibility for my part of the problem, and my daughter is accepting here part as well."

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"I think my biggest problem was that I didn't change the things that weren't working I kept using the same parenting strategies and hoped for different results. This turned out to be almost as big a problem as not trying to fix problems in the first place. For example, I thought that threatening to do this or that was an effective form of discipline -- but since I had to use it each day to correct the same problem, it should have been obvious that it was not a good strategy. I have better tools in my parenting toolbox now. Thanks for all your help."

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"I realized I was very good at allowing my children to be independent, but I was not very good at setting clear and firm limits for behavior. My children easily discovered rules that could be broken if their protests were long and loud enough ...Often times, I just wanted to avoid the hassle of a conflict. It was easier for me to let the rules slide than to deal with the fuss. Also, it was sometimes hard to refuse my children anything, because I didn't want them to be unhappy. I thought "unhappy children" equals "bad parents." And I guess at some level I was afraid my children would become angry and hate me if I set boundaries. Now I know that children want to know that their parents are in charge; they need structure and limits. This concept alone is helping me immensely."

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"Just a short note to say thanks. We are now well into your assignments and things are going well. As you predicted, things got a lot worse to begin with, but the three kids and both parents are starting to settle well. We are getting into a routine, and now “no” is beginning to mean “no,” consequences to actions are beginning to be recognized, and your method of getting them to do something is very effective. Many thanks. I hope it's still o.k. to write with any questions as they come along, as I feel we are only part way through. And as they get older, new things are going to appear. Thanks again."

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"Thanks for the accommodations. You are a big help. I started some of the pointers that we've talked about, and I see some good effects. It's very hard to switch emotions, but I'm trying my best. I think I will be sending you a lot of thanks for this book and for the warm accommodation on the first phone consultation. I know I got the right help now. I wish God will give you more time to accommodate parents like me."

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"Today, I spoke to my son's former counselor (whom I was asking for a referral for another counseling, which I did before I found your ebook). I told her, “I think I don't need it for now,” because I found your site. I gave her your site and told her to spread the word about your ebook, since her job deals with parents and kids of

Making Summer Vacation a Positive Experience

For teenagers, summer is the highlight of the year – no responsibilities, sleeping in until noon, a kitchen full of food, and the sweet smell of independence. Many moms and dads work full-time throughout the summer; some go on vacation and leave adolescents with an easygoing relative or friend; and some older adolescents are even left alone when moms and dads are away. All of the structure and scheduling that occurs during the school year turns into unadulterated freedom in the summer.

For moms and dads, the start of summer means the countdown to September is on. As yet another school year comes to a close, mothers/fathers are making last-minute plans to keep their adolescents occupied for three long months. Sure, a few weeks may be spent on a family vacation, some adolescents may attend summer school, and others may take up a new hobby. But that still leaves hours each day and days each week when adolescents are home with nothing to do. How many days can you invent amusing activities and outings that will keep your adolescent out of trouble?

With less structure and adult supervision, the summer is ripe with opportunities for adolescents to fall into a bad crowd, experiment with drugs or alcohol, or get into other forms of mischief. If your adolescent has been struggling during the school year, more trouble may be awaiting you in summer. Adolescents are looking for adventure, risk, and excitement, especially in the summer. Being bored at home is the exact opposite of what they need. They will find a way to take risks and live adventurously with or without your support and guidance.

Kids and teens that are not supervised are more likely to commit crimes, be victims of crimes, do drugs, or hang out with gang members. Young people start committing crimes around noon during the summer, compared to 3 p.m. during the school year. In addition, adolescents tend to commit drug crimes later in the evening during the summer, most likely because they can stay out later without worrying about getting up early for school. This means adolescents need constructive activities to occupy a broader range of time in summer than during the school year. For working moms and dads, it's difficult to be around from noon until late in the evening every day.

More adolescents try marijuana for the first time in summer than at any other time of year. This translates into 6,300 new users each day, a 40 percent increase in first-time youth marijuana use during June and July as compared to the rest of the year. A hike in new underage drinkers and cigarette smokers also occurs during the summer months.

By taking proper precautions and planning ahead, moms and dads can make summer vacation a positive and memorable growth experience for adolescents. Where should parents begin? Two words: Summer camp. Yes, there is cost involved, but for most struggling adolescents, the benefits are well worth the price.

Most adolescents want nothing more than a summer to hang out with their friends. However, for adolescents that are acting out, falling behind in school, disrespecting authority figures, or getting in trouble with the law, a break from negative peer influences may be exactly what they need. Sometimes the best thing for the whole family is to take a break, with a struggling adolescent attending camp to learn new skills and ways of approaching family conflict, and family members doing their own work at home.

There is no better way to make constructive use of free time than learning something new - a new skill, exploring an unfamiliar place, meeting new people. Therapeutic wilderness programs offer a unique opportunity for troubled adolescents to explore the wilderness on foot, learn primitive life skills, and participate in challenging group activities. When stripped of the comforts of home, like television, computers, and video games, adolescents connect with themselves and others on a deeper level.

Wilderness camps emphasize responsibility, self-awareness, teamwork, and communication, and challenge adolescents to achieve their personal best. Adolescents are introduced to a new group of peers and learn to relate to people of all backgrounds. They live in a structured, highly supervised environment, which helps adolescents gain perspective on life at home and build self-confidence and hope for a brighter future.

If summer camps and wilderness programs aren't right for your adolescent, consider getting him or her involved in volunteer work. Animal shelters, halfway houses, nursing homes, churches, homeless shelters, soup kitchens, and other organizations can keep adolescents occupied while developing a sense of purpose, self-confidence, and personal responsibility. In addition to teaching adolescents the joy of giving back, volunteer work looks great on college applications and resumes.

Another activity to keep adolescents busy this summer is a part-time job. Many moms and dads find internships or small tasks for their kids to do at their place of employment, or you can help your adolescent apply to local grocery stores, restaurants, retail stores, local car washes, or pet care facilities. Adolescents can also earn extra money babysitting, doing yard work, house-sitting, and other odd jobs. Part-time work helps adolescents budget, make friends, comply with authority, develop a strong work ethic, and learn the value of a dollar.

Keeping your youngster busy for the sake of being busy can be as disastrous as doing nothing. Your adolescent may rebel against the cluttered schedule and seek out more interesting people and places on his own. Your money would be put to better use in a summer camp with a clear, focused goal, such as a wilderness camp or weight-loss camp.

Moms and dads who are seeing early signs of behavioral or emotional problems in their kids have an excellent opportunity to get their children back on track during summer vacation. Waiting to address these issues until the summer has started or problems become serious would do a disservice to your adolescent. Start talking with your adolescent at least a month before the start of summer vacation to make plans, reserve a place at camp, and coordinate schedules.

More Tips for Making Summer Vacation a Positive Experience:

1. A stagnant economy may make the summer job search a bit more difficult than usual. But if your adolescent is serious about looking for summer work, encourage her to find (or create) a job that she can do during the morning (e.g., if she starts a lawn-mowing business, encourage her to schedule her appointments for the morning, before the hottest part of the day).

2. From volunteer experiences to summer internships to organized sports, summer vacation is an excellent time for adolescents to explore topics that interest them, but that they may not have the opportunity to delve into during the school year. If your adolescent enjoys sports, summer vacation is a great time to participate in a league or take part in a short-term skills camp. For adolescents who are interested in sports but who don't want to play, many youth leagues are always on the lookout for officials, scorekeepers, and coaches. If your family's financial situation is such that paid employment isn't a requirement for your adolescent during summer vacation, think about volunteer work or an unpaid internship. In addition to boosting your adolescent's college resume, these opportunities can also give your adolescent real-world work experience and insights into a career field that she is interested in.

3. Summer camp opportunities today include computer camp, finance camp, theater camp, wilderness camp, space camp, adventure camp, and many more. In addition to topic-centered summer camps, experienced professionals also operate innovative summer camps that are designed to support, motivate, and provide a memorable summer experience for all types of adolescents, including overweight kids and kids with learning disabilities, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and certain types of autism. In addition to providing a nurturing and accepting environment, weight loss summer camps and summer camps for special students can provide long-term educational, emotional, and therapeutic benefits for these kids.

4. If your adolescent has a history of behavior problems, defiance, substance abuse, or related challenges, summer vacation can be a difficult time both for him and for you. In the absence of the structure and support that is provided during the school year, summer vacation can cause significant backsliding in the behaviors of troubled adolescents and at-risk adolescents. To avoid these problems – and to turn summer vacation from a negative experience into a positive educational opportunity – educate yourself about the many therapeutic wilderness programs for troubled adolescents that have been established over the past few decades. In addition to helping your adolescent with issues related to behavior, mental health, and substance abuse, a summer wilderness program for troubled adolescents can also instill leadership values, personal responsibility, and a heightened sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

5. If your adolescent is a swimmer (or wants to learn), sign her up for morning lessons or a community team that practices during the a.m. hours. If your adolescent needs an academic boost, find a morning tutoring program (which serves the dual purpose of getting him out of bed and getting the "painful" part of the day out of the way).

6. If your adolescent wants some freedom during his summer vacation days, trade afternoon hours for morning chores. The benefits: Your adolescent is awake, your household chores are taken care of, and there's no daylong back and forth about what needs to be done. If the chores are done by a pre-determined time, afternoon activities are allowed; if the work isn't done, the afternoon schedule is curtailed or called off.

7. Realistically, handing your adolescent a schedule of morning chores, activities, and work assignments is not going to end your summer vacation stress. But anything you can do to encourage your adolescent to buy into (or take ownership of) the summer plan will make the process go much smoother. Sit down with your adolescent and discuss your hopes and plans for summer vacation. Perhaps you can trade hours (morning chores for afternoon fun), or maybe you can ease some restrictions (for example, an extended curfew) in exchange for desired behaviors (phoning home at predetermined times when out of the house, or completing a certain number of chores). In addition to reducing your adolescent's resistance to the summer vacation schedule, negotiating will make enforcement of punishments a bit more palatable, too, because your adolescent will know the penalty before he violated the rule.

There's a good chance that a significant portion of your adolescent's summer dreams involve, well, dreaming. From post-noon wake-ups to midday naps, extended snooze sessions can be among summer's most enticing opportunities for sleep-deprived, school-stressed adolescents. While there's no reason to insist that your adolescent rise with the sun during summer vacation, there are more than a few justifications for opposing a "wake me for dinner" mentality.

Don't just get by this summer, counting down the days until September. Wasted time is a wasted opportunity. A bold and exciting summer vacation can be a life-changing time of continued learning and personal exploration for adolescents.

==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents

Dealing with Uncontrollable Anger in Your Teenager

Anger in teens takes many forms. It may be expressed as indignation and resentment, or rage and fury. It is the expression of anger (i.e., the behavior) that parents see. Some adolescents may repress their anger and withdraw, while others may be more defiant and destroy property.

Anger is an emotion – not a behavior, and it is usually caused by something going on in the adolescent's life. Treating uncontrollable anger in teens generally involves several types of psychotherapy and training for your teen – as well as for you. Treatment often lasts several months or longer. If your son or daughter has co-existing conditions (e.g., ADHD), medications may help significantly improve symptoms. However, medications alone generally aren't used for anger-related issues unless another disorder co-exists.

Here are 17 crucial tips for dealing with uncontrollable anger in your teenager:

1. At first, your teen probably won't be cooperative or appreciate your changed response to his or her behavior. Expect that you'll have setbacks and relapses, and be prepared with a plan to manage those times. In fact, behavior can temporarily worsen when new limits and expectations are set. However, with perseverance and consistency, the initial hard work often pays off with improved behavior and relationships.

2. Be forgiving. Let go of things that you or your teen did in the past. Start each day with a fresh outlook and a clean slate.

3. Build in time together. Develop a consistent weekly schedule that involves you and your teen spending time together.

4. Assign your teen a household chore that's essential and that won't get done unless the teen does it. Initially, it's important to set your teen up for success with tasks that are relatively easy to achieve and gradually blend in more important and challenging expectations. Give clear, easy-to-follow instructions.

5. Consider individual and family therapy. Individual counseling for your teen may help him or her learn to manage anger and express his or her feelings more healthfully. Family counseling may help improve your communication and relationships, and help members of your family learn how to work together.

6. Employ social skills training. Your teen might benefit from therapy that will help him or her learn how to interact more positively and effectively with peers.

7. Learn ways to calm yourself. Keeping your own cool models the behavior you want from your teen.

==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents

8. Model the behavior you want your teen to have.

9. Pick your battles. Avoid power struggles. Almost everything can turn into a power struggle — if you let it.

10. Recognize and praise your teen's positive behaviors. Be as specific as possible, such as, "I really liked the way you helped wash dishes."

11. Set up a routine. Develop a consistent daily schedule for your teen. Asking your teen to help develop that routine may be beneficial.

12. Set limits and enforce consistent reasonable consequences.

13. Research parent-teen interaction therapy (PCIT). During PCIT, therapists coach moms and dads while they interact with their teenagers. In one approach, the therapist sits behind a one-way mirror and, using an "ear bug" audio device, guides moms and dads through strategies that reinforce their teenager's positive behavior. As a result, parents learn more-effective parenting techniques, the quality of the parent-teen relationship improves, and problem behaviors decrease.

14. Take time for yourself. Develop outside interests, get some exercise and spend some time away from your teen to restore your energy.

15. Try cognitive problem-solving training. This type of therapy is aimed at helping your teen identify and change through patterns that are leading to behavior problems. Collaborative problem-solving — in which you and your teen work together to come up with solutions that work for both of you — can help improve anger-related problems.

16. Work with your spouse or others in your household to ensure consistent and appropriate discipline procedures.

17. Get involved in parent training. A mental health provider with experience treating uncontrollable anger in teens may help you develop skills that will allow you to parent in a way that's more positive and less frustrating for you and your teen. In some cases, your teen may participate in this type of training with you, so that everyone in your family develops shared goals for how to handle problems. As part of parent training, you may learn how to:

avoid power struggles;
establish a schedule for the family that includes specific meals that will be eaten at home together, and specific activities that mom and/or dad will do with the teen;
give effective timeouts;
limit consequences to those that can be consistently reinforced and if possible, last for a limited amount of time;
offer acceptable choices to your teen, giving him or her a certain amount of control;
recognize and praise your teen's good behaviors and positive characteristics;
remain calm and unemotional in the face of opposition, or take your own timeout, if necessary.

Moms and dads must be aware of signs to look for in an angry and aggressive adolescent. It's common for adolescents to fight with their moms and dads, peers and siblings, but certain signs and symptoms are indicative of a bigger problem. When an adolescent appears isolated, spends a lot of time in his or her room, or does not want to participate in typical activities, you may have a reason for concern.

A drop in grades, lack of appetite, sleeplessness or too much sleep is also a sign that an adolescent is troubled. Crying often or constantly finding a reason to argue is also a common trait in an angry adolescent. When an adolescent feels very angry or out of control, aggression can take over. Physical contact, such as pushing or smacking a parent, sibling or peer, is a clear indication that the adolescent needs help.

Although some parent management techniques may seem like common sense, learning to use them in the face of opposition isn't easy, especially if there are other stressors at home. Learning these skills will require consistent practice and patience. Most important in treatment is for you to show consistent, unconditional love and acceptance of your teen — even during difficult and disruptive situations. Don't be too hard on yourself. This process can be tough for even the most patient mother or father.

==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents

What Parents of Troubled Teens Need to Know About Fentanyl

The Nation’s Greatest and Most Urgent Drug Threat

In recent years, the opioid crisis in the United States has shifted dramatically with the emergence of fentanyl as the most significant and urgent drug threat facing the nation. Fentanyl, a synthetic opioid, is not only highly addictive but also immensely potent, causing an escalating number of overdoses and fatalities across the country. Understanding the impact of this substance, its origins, and the measures being taken to combat its proliferation is essential to grasp the severity of the crisis.

The Potency and Dangers of Fentanyl

Fentanyl is reported to be 50 to 100 times more potent than morphine and is estimated to be about 50 times stronger than heroin. This extreme potency significantly raises the risk of overdose, as even a minuscule amount can be lethal. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), synthetic opioids, primarily fentanyl, accounted for over 70% of all opioid-involved deaths in 2021. This staggering statistic underscores the urgent nature of the fentanyl crisis.

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The drug is commonly manufactured illegally and is often mixed with other substances, including heroin, cocaine, and counterfeit prescription pills. Many users are unaware they are consuming fentanyl, resulting in unintentional overdoses. For instance, a person seeking heroin may unknowingly purchase a product laced with fentanyl, leading to catastrophic consequences.

The Origins and Distribution of Fentanyl

Fentanyl was originally synthesized in the late 1950s and was initially used in medical settings for pain management, particularly for cancer patients. Its medical use continues, but over the years, illegal production has skyrocketed. Fentanyl is primarily manufactured in clandestine laboratories, and a significant proportion of the illicit supply originates from foreign shipments, particularly from Mexico and China.

The accessibility of fentanyl is troubling. It is inexpensive to produce and can be transported easily due to its potency, which allows traffickers to maximize profits. As a result, fentanyl has flooded the American drug market, exacerbating an already dire opioid epidemic.

The Human Toll

The human cost of the fentanyl epidemic is staggering. Families and communities are devastated by the loss of loved ones to overdose. The CDC reports that synthetic opioids, primarily fentanyl, were involved in more than 71,000 deaths in 2021 alone. This represents a significant jump from previous years, highlighting an alarming trend that shows no signs of abating.

Moreover, the crisis impacts not just those who use drugs but also their families and communities. The ripple effects are felt in terms of increased healthcare costs, loss of productivity, and strained social services. Communities across the country grapple with the challenges of supporting those addicted while also addressing the fallout from the crisis.

Factors Contributing to Teenagers’ Use of Fentanyl

1. Peer Pressure and Social Influence: Adolescence is a critical period where peer acceptance becomes paramount. Many teenagers may feel compelled to try substances to fit in or to gain social status. This peer influence can lead them to experiment with drugs that they perceive as safe or less harmful.

2. Accessibility: The availability of prescription medications has been a longstanding issue, but the illicit market for fentanyl has significantly increased its accessibility. Teens may easily acquire fentanyl-laced substances through social networks or online platforms without realizing the dangers involved.

3. Misconceptions About Drugs: There is a pervasive misinformation about opioids and their effects, particularly concerning synthetic opioids like fentanyl. Some teenagers may believe that they can control their use or that they won't experience severe consequences, underestimating the potency of these drugs.

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4. Mental Health Issues: Many teenagers face mental health challenges, such as anxiety, depression, or trauma. They may turn to drugs as a means of coping or escapism. This may lead them to experiment with opioids, including fentanyl, as a method of self-medication.

5. Cultural Factors: Media portrayal of drug use and the glamorization of a party lifestyle can also play a role in normalizing substance use. This cultural context can create an environment where trying drugs, including those containing fentanyl, becomes more acceptable.

The Risks Associated with Fentanyl Use

The consequences of fentanyl use can be severe and far-reaching. Key risks include:

1. Risk of Overdose: Due to its potency, even a small amount of fentanyl can result in an overdose. Symptoms can include difficulty breathing, extreme drowsiness, confusion, and loss of consciousness. The risk is even higher when fentanyl is mixed with other substances, as users may not be aware of the fentanyl content.

2. Addiction: Opioids are highly addictive substances. Teenage use of fentanyl can lead to physical dependence and addiction, which can derail their personal and academic lives.

3. Mental Health Decline: Substance use can exacerbate existing mental health issues and lead to new challenges. The chemical effects of fentanyl on the brain can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders.

4. Legal and Social Consequences: Engaging in drug use can lead to serious legal issues, including arrests and involvement with the juvenile justice system. It can also affect family relationships and social dynamics, causing isolation or damaging friendships.

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Combating the Crisis

In response to the fentanyl epidemic, various strategies are being employed at local, state, and federal levels. These include:

1. Enhanced Law Enforcement Efforts: Law enforcement agencies are targeting illicit fentanyl production and trafficking. This involves better coordination among local, state, and federal authorities and international cooperation to disrupt supply chains.

2. Harm Reduction Strategies: Programs that provide access to naloxone, a medication that can reverse opioid overdoses, are expanding. Communities are also focusing on safe injection sites and drug testing services to prevent overdoses.

3. Public Awareness Campaigns: Educating the public about the dangers of fentanyl is critical. Campaigns aim to raise awareness about the risks associated with illicit opioid use and the signs of overdose.

4. Access to Treatment: Increasing access to addiction treatment programs, including medication-assisted treatment (MAT), is crucial to addressing the underlying issues of substance use disorders. Providing support for recovery is essential for individuals seeking help.

5. Legislative Action: Policymakers are exploring new regulations and laws aimed at curbing the distribution of illegal fentanyl. Some states have enacted tougher penalties for trafficking in synthetic opioids while simultaneously supporting prevention and treatment initiatives.

Conclusion

Fentanyl has become the nation’s greatest and most urgent drug threat due to its extreme potency, prevalence in the illicit drug market, and the devastating consequences it has wrought on families and communities alike. Combating this crisis requires a multifaceted approach that includes law enforcement, public education, access to treatment, and harm reduction strategies. The fight against fentanyl is far from over, but through collective efforts, there is hope to turn the tide of this epidemic and ensure a safer future for all. Addressing this urgent drug threat is essential not just for public health but for the well-being of society as a whole.

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Are Your Raising A Spoiled Child?

Nobody wants to raise a spoiled youngster. But striking a balance between love and over-indulgence can be hard. There are no scientific facts about spoiled kids …no hard facts detailing the subject. However, there are plenty of moms and dads who worry about over-indulging their children, and plenty of professionals who have opinions on the matter.

My definition of a spoiled youngster is one with a sense of entitlement (e.g., "I deserve whatever I want – and I shouldn’t have to work for it”) who has a parent that is over-protective and all-giving (e.g., “Telling my child ‘no’ may damage our relationship”).

What does "over-protective" have to do with spoiled?

Well… over-protective moms and dads don't want their youngster to fail; therefore, they do everything in their power to make sure this doesn't happen. But at a certain point, these moms and dads are no longer doing their youngster a favor. The youngster becomes accustomed to having things done for him/her, and assumes that everyone will work for his/her success – and that's just not true!

How To Stop Spoiling Your Children—

1. "No" is not a bad word: In other words, you're not hurting your child by saying “no.” In many cases, you may be helping him. Your youngster does not have to love you every minute of every day. He'll get over the disappointment of having been told "no" – but he won't get over the effects of being spoiled.

2. Avoid comparisons: Setting limits and saying "no" becomes even harder when moms and dads of your youngster's friends are saying “yes.” Stand firm by your decisions. Your son may complain that all of his friends have an X Box and nobody will want to come over unless he gets one, too. I suggest telling your youngster to enjoy playing the video game at friends' homes and finding something unique to do at his own home. Your son has qualities and possessions that attract his friends, and they will still want to come over. He should be proud of these things, not embarrassed or upset by what he doesn't have.

3. Avoid materialism: If your parent-child relationship is based on material goods, your youngster won't have the chance to experience unconditional love.

4. Be a good role model: We're not the only influence in our children' lives, so we better be the best influence.

5. Don't let your guilt get in the way of your parenting: Your job as a parent is not to make yourself feel good by giving the youngster everything that makes you feel good when you give it. Your job as a parent is to prepare your youngster to succeed in school and in life. Children have to be socialized in a way that they understand “you work hard for what you get.” You don't want to teach your youngster that they will get everything through manipulation, pouting, crying, door slamming and guilt induction.

6. Make sure your youngster understands the value of hard work: One mother always told her daughters, “If you make Cs, you're going to have a C standard of living. If you make Bs, you're going to have a B standard of living. If you make As, you're going to have an A standard of living.” Help your youngster set goals. Teach her that striving to own nice things is fine if she understands how much hard work it takes to afford that, and then doesn't base her self-worth around what she buys.

7. Make sure your kids aren't defining their happiness and their status in the world as a function of what they wear or drive: Sit down with them and have a one-on-one conversation about what really defines their worth, their intelligence, their creativity, their caring, their giving, their work ethic, etc.

8. Money is not the problem: Money has nothing to do with spoiling a youngster. Even kids from low-income families can wind up spoiled. If you are on the phone with your husband, even if you're just talking about dinner plans, and your 7-year-old keeps wanting to talk to you, wants to interrupt and thinks that's OK ... he's spoiled. The youngster assumes you are going to drop everything and pay total attention to him. You have indulged this behavior in the past, and now the youngster expects it all the time. Kids are going to ask for things, and moms and dads are going to want to say “yes.” They simply enjoy giving things to - and doing things for - their children. It's like a high, an honor, a joy. But think about it this way: you don't need all the sugar you want ... so why does your youngster?

9. Prepare your youngster for reality: Your primary job as a parent is to prepare your youngster for how the world really works. In the real world, you don't always get what you want. You will be better able to deal with that as a grown-up if you've experienced it as a youngster.

10. Redefine what taking care of your kids really means: Are you providing for them emotionally and spiritually? You need not buy them material goods in order to create a bond. Instead of tangible gifts, how about spending some time together? Be careful that you aren't teaching them that emotions can be healed by a trip to the mall.

11. Set limits and stick by them: It's tiring and tedious and just not fun, but moms and dads must decide what they are willing to give their kids in terms of material goods and attention, and then stand by this decision. Once you take a stand, recognize that your youngster will try to manipulate you. He'll give lots of logical reasons why he needs to have something. But stick with your decision! So if you do buy your youngster a toy after telling him you wouldn't, you can be sure he will persistently badger you the next time you say "no." He now knows that if he's persistent, he can break down your resolve.

12. Stand firm: Of course, this single act is not going to magically change your youngster. You must consistently tell your youngster when you think she is acting spoiled. Explain why you think this and why it's important to compromise or share. Most importantly, begin setting limits and standing by them.

13. Teach charity: For instance, if you believe you've bought too many toys for your youngster, tell him so. Go on to explain that he does not play with all of them and is no longer putting them away or taking care of them. Allow him to choose a few favorite items, and then give the rest away to charity. This will teach him about giving to others while learning to value what he has.

14. Think of the future: Remember that this change won't be easy, but it is important. If you continue to spoil your kids, they will get to the point where they are not satisfied by anything!!! They will never feel gratified. When you decide to stop spoiling your youngster, it doesn't mean you can no longer buy her designer clothes or nice things – just cut back. Buy one pair of designer jeans, not twelve.

15. Understand "intrinsic" versus "extrinsic" motivation: Intrinsic motivation is when people do things because they feel proud of themselves when they do it. They feel a sense of accomplishment and achievement. Extrinsic motivation is when someone does something because of external motivation (e.g., they will receive money, a toy or privilege if they do the task). If you are always rewarding your youngster with material things, he will never learn how to motivate himself with internal rewards like pride. He also will never learn to value things, because there are so many things - and nothing is special.

==> Discipline for Troubled Teens

How to Tell the Difference Between Normal Rebellion Versus a Psychological Problem

"My seventeen year old daughter is so very angry. She is involved with drugs and has gotten in some legal trouble as well. She is verbally abusive to me and to my husband who is her stepfather. The problem is that other times she is a joy to be around. She is funny, and very bright and creative. I wonder if she may have a psychological problem or may be an opposition defiant child. Not sure what to think right now."

How can a parent tell the difference between normal rebellion and the signal that an adolescent is troubled? Ask yourself these two questions:

1. Is this behavior change drastic for my adolescent? Normal rebellious behavior develops over time, beginning with an adolescent wanting to be with friends more and disagreeing with moms and dads more frequently. Problem rebellion is sudden and drastically out of character. For example, a normally rebellious "A" student may get a few "Bs" and cut a class or two, but if he suddenly starts failing or refuses to go to school, this can be a sign that your adolescent is experiencing an emotional crisis.

2. How frequent and intense is the rebellion? Normal rebellion is sporadic. There are moments of sweetness, calm and cooperation between outbursts. If on the other hand, rebellion is constant and intense, this can be a sign of underlying emotional problems.

Dealing with Normal Rebellion—

The main task of adolescents in our culture is to become psychologically emancipated from their moms and dads. The teenager must cast aside the dependent relationship of childhood. Before she can develop an adult relationship with her moms and dads, the adolescent must first distance herself from the way she related to them in the past. This process is characterized by a certain amount of intermittent normal rebellion, defiance, discontent, turmoil, restlessness, and ambivalence. Emotions usually run high. Mood swings are common. Under the best of circumstances, this adolescent rebellion continues for approximately 2 years; not uncommonly it lasts for 4 to 6 years.

==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents

How do I deal with my teenager's rebellion?

The following guidelines may help you and your teenager through this difficult period:

1. Treat your teenager as an adult friend— By the time your youngster is 12 years old, start working on developing the kind of relationship you would like to have with your youngster when she is an adult. Treat your youngster the way you would like her to treat you when she is an adult. Your goal is mutual respect, support, and the ability to have fun together.

Strive for relaxed, casual conversations during bicycling, hiking, shopping, playing catch, driving, cooking, mealtime, working, and other times together. Use praise and trust to help build her self-esteem. Recognize and validate your youngster's feelings by listening sympathetically and making nonjudgmental comments. Remember that listening doesn't mean you have to solve your adolescent's problems. The friendship model is the best basis for family functioning.

2. Avoid criticism about "no-win" topics— Most negative parent-adolescent relationships develop because the moms and dads criticize their teenager too much. Much of the adolescent's objectionable behavior merely reflects conformity with the current tastes of her peer group. Peer-group immersion is one of the essential stages of adolescent development. Dressing, talking, and acting differently than adults helps your youngster feel independent from you. Try not to attack your teen's clothing, hairstyle, makeup, music, dance steps, friends, recreational interests, and room decorations, use of free time, use of money, speech, posture, religion, or philosophy.

This doesn't mean withholding your personal views about these subjects. But allowing your adolescent to rebel in these harmless areas often prevents testing in major areas, such as experimentation with drugs, truancy, or stealing. Intervene and try to make a change only if your teen's behavior is harmful, illegal, or infringes on your rights (see the sections on house rules). Another common error is to criticize your adolescent's mood or attitude. A negative or lazy attitude can only be changed through good example and praise. The more you dwell on nontraditional (even strange) behaviors, the longer they will last.

3. Let society's rules and consequences teach responsibility outside the home— Your teen must learn from trial and error. As she experiments, she will learn to take responsibility for her decisions and actions. Speak up only if the adolescent is going to do something dangerous or illegal. Otherwise, you must rely on the adolescent's own self-discipline, pressure from her peers to behave responsibly, and the lessons learned from the consequences of her actions. A school's requirement for punctual school attendance will influence when your adolescent goes to bed at night. School grades will hold your teen accountable for homework and other aspects of school performance. If your adolescent has bad work habits, she will lose her job.

If your teen makes a poor choice of friends, she may find her confidences broken or that she gets into trouble. If she doesn't practice hard for a sport, she will be pressured by the team and coach to do better. If she misspends her allowance or earnings, she will run out of money before the end of the month. If by chance your teen asks you for advice about these problem areas, try to describe the pros and cons in a brief, impartial way. Ask some questions to help her think about the main risks. Then conclude your remarks with a comment such as, "Do what you think is best." Teens need plenty of opportunity to learn from their own mistakes before they leave home and have to solve problems without an ever-present support system.

4. Clarify the house rules and consequences— You have the right and the responsibility to make rules regarding your house and other possessions. A teen's preferences can be tolerated within her own room, but they need not be imposed on the rest of the house. You can forbid loud music that interferes with other people's activities or incoming telephone calls after 10 p.m.

==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents

While you should make your adolescent's friends feel welcome in your home, clarify the ground rules about parties or where snacks can be eaten. Your adolescent can be placed in charge of cleaning her room, washing his clothes, and ironing his clothes. You can insist upon clean clothes and enough showers to prevent or overcome body odor. You must decide whether you will loan her your car, bicycle, camera, radio, TV, clothes, and so forth. Reasonable consequences for breaking house rules include loss of telephone, TV, stereo, and car privileges. (Time-out is rarely useful in this age group, and physical punishment can escalate to a serious breakdown in your relationship.)

If your teen breaks something, she should repair it or pay for its repair or replacement. If she makes a mess, she should clean it up. If your adolescent is doing poorly in school, you can restrict TV time. You can also put a limit on telephone privileges and weeknights out. If your adolescent stays out too late or doesn't call you when she's delayed, you can ground her for a day or a weekend. In general, grounding for more than a few days is looked upon as unfair and is hard to enforce.

5. Use family conferences for negotiating house rules— Some families find it helpful to have a brief meeting after dinner once a week. At this time your teen can ask for changes in the house rules or bring up family issues that are causing problems. You can also bring up issues (such as your adolescent's demand to drive her to too many places and your need for her help in arranging carpools). The family unit often functions better if the decision-making is democratic. The objective of negotiation should be that both parties win. The atmosphere can be one of: "Nobody is at fault, but we have a problem. How can we solve it?"

6. Give space to a teen who is in a bad mood— Generally when your teen is in a bad mood, she won't want to talk about it with you. If teens want to discuss a problem with anybody, it is usually with a close friend. In general, it is advisable at such times to give your adolescent lots of space and privacy. This is a poor time to talk to your teen about anything, pleasant or otherwise.

7. Use "I" messages for rudeness— Some talking back is normal. We want our teens to express their anger through talking and to challenge our opinions in a logical way. We need to listen. Expect your teen to present her case passionately, even unreasonably. Let the small stuff go — it's only words. But don't accept disrespectful remarks such as calling you a "jerk." Unlike a negative attitude, these mean remarks should not be ignored. You can respond with a comment like, "It really hurts me when you put me down or don't answer my question."

Make your statement without anger if possible. If your adolescent continues to make angry, unpleasant remarks, leave the room. Don't get into a shouting match with your teen because this is not a type of behavior that is acceptable in outside relationships. What you are trying to teach is that everyone has the right to disagree and even to express anger, but that screaming and rude conversation are not allowed in your house. You can prevent some rude behavior by being a role model of politeness, constructive disagreement, and the willingness to apologize.

When should you seek outside assistance?

Get help if:

you feel your teen's rebellion is excessive
you find yourself escalating the criticism and punishment
you have other questions or concerns
you think your teen is depressed, suicidal, drinking or using drugs, or going to run away
your family life is seriously disrupted by your teen
your relationship with your teen does not improve within 3 months after you begin using these approaches
your teen has no close friends
your teen is skipping school frequently
your teen is taking undue risks (for example, reckless driving)
your teen's outbursts of temper are destructive or violent
your teen's school performance is declining markedly

==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents

U.S. Boarding Schools: Maine to North Dakota

Boarding Schools in Maine--

Carrabassett Valley Academy

Carrabassett Valley Academy's unique co-curricular programming, combines individualized academic study and athletic training for alpine skiing, freestyle and big mountain skiing, plus snowboarding. CVA has earned a reputation for turning out winning athletes at all levels in addition to motivated scholars and community leaders. Whether your dream is one of Olympic glory, scholastic achievement, or civic leadership, CVA will provide the environment for you to maximize your potential on and off the slopes.

Kents Hill School Kents Hill School is a coeducational college-preparatory school for students in grades nine through twelve and postgraduate. Located just 15 minutes outside of Maine’s capital city of Augusta, the nearly 600-acre campus is on the summit of a high, rolling hill that overlooks the beautiful valleys and lakes of the Belgrade region.

Maine Central Institute

Maine Central Institute pledges to provide a rigorous, comprehensive educational program to a multicultural student body with a wide range of abilities and interests. In a safe and caring atmosphere, students will acquire knowledge, self-esteem, social responsibility, and the critical thinking and communication skills necessary for global citizenship and lifelong learning.

The Deck House School

Overlooking the Sheepscot River in Edgecomb, Maine, The Deck House School is a small college-prep boarding school for boys who have struggled in more traditional settings.

Boarding Schools in Maryland--

Excel Academy Charter School Excel Academy Charter School prepares middle school students to succeed in high school and college, apply their learning to solve relevant problems, and engage productively in their communities.

Garrison Forest School

An independent Day and Boarding college preparatory school for girls with a coeducational Two-year-old through Kindergarten program, Garrison Forest School is dedicated to the intellectual, aesthetic, emotional, moral, physical, and spiritual growth of its students. The School's primary commitment is to develop and maintain a strong academic program designed to foster a spirit of inquiry, intellectual independence, and enthusiasm for learning.

Georgetown Preparatory School

Georgetown Preparatory School is an independent, Jesuit college-preparatory school for young men (grades 9-12). Founded in 1789 by America's first Catholic bishop, Prep is the nation's oldest Jesuit school and the only Jesuit boarding school. Prep's academically rigorous liberal arts curriculum is based in the educational philosophy of Jesuit founder, St. Ignatius Loyola.

Georgetown Preparatory School

Oldfields School

Oldfields School is committed to the intellectual and moral development of young women. In a culture of kindness and mutual respect, they encourage each student to make the most of her academic and personal potential. They seek to guide each student to grow in character, confidence, and knowledge by encouraging her to embrace the values of personal honesty, intellectual curiosity, and social responsibility.

Saint James School The Mission of Saint James School is to prepare young men and women for academic success in college, and to challenge and inspire them to be leaders for good in the world. We seek to do this within a small and familial residential community which values the moral and spiritual development of our students.

Sandy Spring Friends School Sandy Spring Friends School provides a challenging academic curriculum, enriched arts program, inclusive athletics, and service opportunities promote intellectual excellence and strength of character. Recognizing the unique worth of each person, the School strives to develop individual talents and foster caring and effective citizens of the world.

St. Timothy's School

St. Timothy's School motto, "To seek the truth and uphold it, to be worthy of trust, and to be kind" is the bedrock of a St. Tim's education, where tradition and values blend with academic and residential programs. St. Tim's is a place where excellence, intellectual curiosity, and independent thinking are celebrated.

Boarding Schools in Massachusetts--

Academy at Swift River

Located in Western Massachusetts, surrounded by the scenic Berkshire Mountains, the Academy at Swift River specializes in working with adolescents ages 13-18 (Grades 9-12) having social, academic and familial difficulties. The Academy at Swift River combines cognitive and emotive approaches in order to allow children time for natural growth within the classroom, the family, the environment and themselves. The 14 month program also provides an overseas community service experience as part of the curriculum.

Brooks School Brooks is a college preparatory school that values academic excellence. Its educational environment is challenging but supportive, helping students to become the best they can be.

Cushing Academy

Cushing Academy is dedicated to educating the mind and shaping the character of young men and women. They exist for students and their personal and academic growth. In a community that is academically and culturally diverse, we challenge each individual and support excellence in every aspect of the learning process. They offer a rigorous college preparatory curriculum, teaching skills that build and instilling values that endure.

Dana Hall School

At Dana Hall School, they are committed to fostering excellence in academics, the arts, and athletics within a vibrant, caring community. With emphasis on integrity, leadership, diversity, and service as well as on respect for self and others, they provide their students with a unique opportunity to prepare themselves for the challenges and choices they will face as women and citizens of the world.

Excel Academy Charter School Excel Academy Charter School is a new, public, charter, middle school that serves the communities of Boston and Chelsea. Excel Academy Charter School prepares 6th through 8th grade students to succeed in high school and college, apply their learning to solve relevant problems, and engage productively in their communities.

Fay School Fay School's programs rest on a well-tested and responsive structure in which challenging yet realistic expectations, combined with the teaching of moral principles, insistence on disciplined behavior, and the cultivation of responsible work habits help children develop the strengths and self-confidence necessary for success.

Groton School

Groton's aims include the intellectual, moral and physical development of its students in grades seven through twelve towards preparation for both college and "the active work of life". The school's mission has never been narrowly to prepare students for college, but rather always to provide an experience which, while academically rigorous, goes far beyond college requirements, addressing important personal aspects of growth and maturity.

Hillside School Hillside School is an independent boarding and day school for middle school boys, grades 5 through 9. The School's mission is to help young adolescent boys develop in their formative years. Our students develop academic and social skills while building confidence and maturity.

Linden Hill School

Linden Hill is a junior boarding school with an academic school year program which accepts boys between 9 and 15 years old. The Linden Hill School Faculty is diligent in their efforts to present a curriculum that is effective in reaching each student, addressing both academic and intellectual abilities. The students have unlimited potential and it is our goal to help them reach those heights.

Miss Hall's School for Girls Miss Hall's School mission is to provide a school committed to preparing young women for full and satisfying lives in the modern world by incorporatin experiential learning into a comprehensive, college preparatory education, adapting students' programs to build on their strengths.

St. Mark’s School St. Mark’s provides a challenging liberal arts curriculum that prepares students to be thoughtful, well-informed, lifelong learners with open, independent, and inquiring minds capable of making sense of the past, the present, and the future.

The Bement School

The Bement School provides an education based on time-honored school traditions and values for children in kindergarten through ninth grade, day and boarding. From the classrooms to the dorms, we live and learn as a family, while encouraging responsibility for our own work and actions. Bement actively seeks an academically diverse, international, and multi-cultural student body. Students and adults at Bement work together to create a climate of acceptance and kindness.

The Winchendon School The Winchendon philosophy is that most young people can succeed when surrounded by an atmosphere of caring attention to their individual needs. To that end, the school offers academic programs that are closely tailored to each student's strengths and weaknesses in a traditional environment designed to encourage moral and spiritual growth.

Walnut Hill School

Walnut Hill School is a private, coeducational, boarding and day high school for the arts, for grades 9–12 (ages 13–18). In conjunction with intensive arts training in ballet, music, theater, visual art, and writing, Walnut Hill offers comprehensive and rigorous academic curriculum in all college-preparatory subjects. In addition to the high school program, Walnut Hill also offers intensive summer study and afternoon and weekend community youth arts instruction.

Boarding Schools in Michigan--

Cranbrook Schools In addition to a challenging and age-appropriate curriculum for every stage of academic development, Cranbrook offers services, programs, activities, and special events to enhance and augment each student’s educational experience. From their proven academic approach to an outstanding athletic program students have many opportunities to seek out the finest in themselves.

Interlochen Center for the Arts Interlochen is an educational institution for talented and motivated young people which emphasizes excellence in artistic and academic achievement and arts presentation.

Saint Mary's Preparatory Saint Mary's Preparatory is a four year secondary program of pre-college studies in a disciplined environment preparing young men for future study and careers of service. The administration, teachers, and coaches work to develop each individual's talents and abilities at his own pace and in his own way.

The Leelanau School

The Leelanau School offers a comprehensive academic, social and physical development program. Our faculty are versatile, gifted, dedicated and have chosen to teach at Leelanau. They believe what one can accomplish is directly connected to the surroundings.

Boarding Schools in Minnesota--

Cotter Schools Cotter High School is a faith based Catholic community dedicated to the teaching and to the living of the values of Christianity in order to develop the whole person. To these ends, we stress three fundamental aspects of education: spirituality, academics, and student life.

Saint Croix Lutheran High School Saint Croix Lutheran High School has as its mission "educating the total student, spiritually, intellectually, and physically in a caring Christian family environment." In keeping with this goal, we strive to meet the following three objectives: Spiritual Growth, Intellectual Growth, and Physical Growth.

Saint John's Preparatory School Saint John's Prep School's emphasis on academic rigor and spiritual growth attracts students from around the world as they seek the best possible preparation for college. The school shares a campus with Saint John's University creating enhancements and added benefits for our students.

Shattuck-St. Mary’s Shattuck-St. Mary’s School is an Episcopal, college preparatory boarding and day school enrolling students in grades six through 12 plus a post-graduate program. The school, located in Faribault, Minnesota, 50 miles south of the twin cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, occupies a 250-acre campus on the bluffs of the Straight River.

Boarding Schools in Mississippi--

All Saints' Episcopal School All Saints' Episcopal School in historic Vicksburg, Mississippi exists to nurture the gifts that make your child unique. Through highly individualized attention, we can help your child to succeed in the classroom like never before, which is the surest way for your child to reach his or her potential in college and beyond.

Chamberlain-Hunt Academy

Chamberlain-Hunt Academy is committed to its mission: "Knowledge and Wisdom in Submission to God." The staff and faculty believe that the Triune God revealed in the Bible as the Creator, Sustainer and Ruler of all things is the one true God and the sole source of all truth. Consequently, true education must focus on knowing that God. True education must be an active, ongoing part of a living faith. Therefore, Chamberlain-Hunt endeavors to provide true education to help Cadets understand God’s world and his purpose for their lives.

Saint Stanislaus College

Through its philosophy, admissions policy, curriculum and facilities, Saint Stanislaus College strives to create an atmosphere for holistic learning and self-growth. This atmosphere provides each student the opportunity to realize his potential and to develop the healthy attitudes and responsible behavior that will permit him to pursue continued studies and to assume his place in society as a concerned Christian gentleman, a Man of Character.

Boarding Schools in Missouri--

Chaminade College Preparatory School Chaminade College Preparatory School is an independent Catholic school for young men in grades six through twelve. The mission of Chaminade is to provide a holistic and high caliber education, grounded in faith, that prepares its students for success in college and in life.

Missouri Military Academy

Missouri Military Academy’s motto – “Look like a Soldier, Act like a Gentleman, Study like a Scholar” - reflects its mission to train young men to become productive citizens of the world with an ethical compass. The structured, nurturing environment helps cadets in each school focus on improving academic performance, personal accountability and social skills that will lead to their success in college and in life.

Principia Principia is a school for Christian Scientists on two campuses in the St. Louis, Missouri, area. Programs for infants through seniors in high school are located in West St. Louis County. Fifty miles away on bluffs overlooking the Mississippi River at Elsah, Illinois, is Principia College.

Saint Paul Lutheran The mission of Saint Paul Lutheran High is to provide curricular and co-curricular experiences in a Christian environment that equip students for joyful, faithful service to Christ and His world.

St. Joseph Institute St. Joseph Institute is an independent, private, day and residential Catholic school that serves severely and profoundly hearing-impaired children ages birth through eighth grade without regard to race, religion or gender.

Thomas Jefferson School The mission of Thomas Jefferson School is to give its students the strongest possible academic background, responsibility for their own learning, a concern for other people, and the resources to live happily as adults and become active contributors to society.

Wentworth Military Academy

Wentworth Military Academy is a college-preparatory secondary boarding school and junior college dedicated to providing students the academic skills, intellectual habits, leadership qualities and character traits needed to excel at the college and university level.

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Agape Boarding School
With the sincere desire to help the lives of troubled children, the Agapé Boarding School (a ministry of Agapé Baptist Church), was born. It was founded in April, 1990, by James and Kathy Clemensen, along with their son and daughter-in-law, Bryan and Kirsty Clemensen. The ministry first began in the Clemensen's home. It was just a year and a half after taking in their first boys, that their enrollment had grown to 14 students. Their home/school had outgrown its space. By October of 1991, the opportunity arose for the school to move to Othello, Washington, onto a decommissioned Air Force base, where the school quickly grew to 160 students.

Early in 1995, Agapé Boarding School realized they needed to search for a different, more desirable location. In May of '95, the size of the school was reduced to 30 students as their search for a new campus began. Finally, in April of 1996, the "ideal" location was found, and Agapé school was moved to Stockton, Missouri, where it opened with an enrollment of 40 students. In only one year, the school's attendance had grown to 110 students.

On the fateful morning of June 6, 1998, the Agapé school dining hall, the new chapel, and the office complex, caught fire and burned to the ground. Thankfully, no one was injured, and our student dorm was not damaged. By the grace of God, within one year of the fire, a beautiful new building was constructed, rising up from where there had once been only a pile of ashes.

Truly God has been good to us. With His help, Agape's plans are to continue to grow, with the goal of taking in over 200 students in the coming months. Agapé Boarding School is a ministry of Agapé Baptist Church. The Pastor and Board are the final authority on all matters.

Boarding Schools in Montana--

Montana Academy Montana Academy is a therapeutic boarding school dedicated to helping teenagers in crisis and their families. Situated on a ranch in the Lost Prairie Valley, Montana Academy is committed to quality service, education, and care.

COLT - Christian Outdoor Leadership Training

The Christian Outdoor Leadership Training program (C.O.L.T.) provides troubled teens help with overcoming the conflicts they are struggling with by sharing the Christian life in an atmosphere of outdoor adventure and a focus on Christian character development. COLT interrupts this downward spin with adventurous and challenging activities led by our experienced, professional staff.

Hope Ranch Hope Ranch is nestled in the heart of Northwest Montana. Hope Ranch nourishes healing, inspires hope, instills values, and builds integrity. Their mission is to rescue girls from destructive lifestyles, heal them in a safe and caring Christian environment, and prepare them for healthy, productive lives.

Summit Preparatory School

Summit Preparatory School is a private, non-profit therapeutic boarding school for youth ages 14-17 with emotional, academic and behavioral problems. The program combines a college preparatory high school curriculum with a professional treatment program. Expert dedicated and professional staff, a high staff-to-student ratio and carefully designed facility promote a safe, comfortable and nuturing community. Summit is the only special purpose school in the state of Montana to be accreditated by the Office of Public Instruction. The campus's 500 wooded acres and geographic location allow easy access to a variety of outdoor recreational activities, while remaining close to the airport and health care services. Duration of stay is 12-24 months.

Boarding Schools in Nebraska--

Mount Michael Benedictine High School Mount Michael Benedictine High School is a Catholic, college-preparatory residential high school. At Mount Michael the core of the academic program enables students to become inquiring learners, appreciative of their heritage, responsive and committed to the challenges of the future.

Nebraska Boys Ranch Nebraska Boys Ranch is a Group Home serving boys ages 12 to 18. The home is located on a working cattle ranch in the beautiful Sandhills in the western section of the Nebraska Panhandle.

Nebraska Christian Schools

Nebraska Christian Schools is an inter-denominational school located on its historic campus in Central City, Nebraska. Providing an environment for quality Christian education enables each student to grow in a meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ and achieve healthy personal and relational development.

Boarding Schools in New Hampshire--

Cardigan Mountain School

Cardigan Mountain School seeks to enroll students of good character and academic promise who will contribute to and benefit from the broad range of academic and extracurricular opportunities available. Cardigan Mountain School believes that much learning goes on among peers and we strive for a student population that is diverse in geographic, economic, social, ethnic and racial backgrounds.

Holderness School The academic program at Holderness is geared to providing a strong preparation for all colleges and universities. Throughout the curriculum, we emphasize reading with comprehension and writing with clarity. In mathematics and the physical sciences, as well as the social sciences and languages, we focus on clear, consistent thinking and applying the principles of logic.

Phillips Exeter Academy

Phillips Exeter Academy, a co-educational residential school serving students in grades 9 through 12, and post-graduate level. Exeter has a tradition of academic excellence, a distinguished faculty, and a long history of educating young people to find their place in the world. An Exeter education prepares students to use the skills learned at school in all life's endeavors. Exeter is a life-changing experience, challenging and fun. It asks a great deal from every student - higher standards, greater expectations, and deeper engagement not only in the world of ideas, but also in the life of the community.

St. Paul's School St. Paul's School is committed to educating the whole person and preparing students to make contributions to a changing and challenging world with the philosophy that defines education as all of the structured experiences in which students participate: course work, athletics, activities, and our life together as a fully residential school.

The Meeting School

The Meeting School (TMS) offers a strong program of academic and experiential learning. Community life is based on traditional Quaker values of respect for the integrity of individuals, peaceful resolution of conflict, stewardship of the land, the dignity of physical work, the importance of community process, and the persistent practice of intellectual and spiritual openness.

Tilton School Tilton School challenges students to embrace and navigate a world marked by diversity and change. Through the quality of human relationships, Tilton School’s faculty cultivates in its students the curiosity, the skills, the knowledge and understanding, the character and the integrity requisite for the passionate pursuit of lifelong personal success and service.

White Mountain School WMS provides an environment for serious academic training and personal growth within a community-based setting in the White Mountains of northern New Hampshire. Students experience a total living/learning curriculum based on a three-part ecology: ecology of the human spirit, ecology of one's community, and ecology of the physical world.

Wolfeboro: The Summer Boarding School

Since 1910, Wolfeboro has offered a traditional boarding school program combined with constructive scholastic work in an exceptional lakeside setting. All courses are offered for credit. An individualized curriculum emphasizes study skills, organization, motivation and confidence. Students take courses for credit, review, or preview in English; grammar; literature; writing; vocabulary; reading; mathematics; SAT prep; science; history; ESL; and foreign languages. A class size of 4-6 students ensures a front row seat and productivity. School offerings include athletic and recreational activities.

Boarding Schools in New Jersey--

Blair Academy

Blair was established in 1848 by John I. Blair. Some of their buildings date back to the mid-1800’s, and the school boasts traditions that have been part of their experience for over a century. Blair is and will continue to be a school of about 400 girls and boys and 70 faculty members. Their size plays a crucial role in the spirit of our school as they blend supervision and structure with opportunity and independence.

The American Boychoir

The mission of The American Boychoir is to sustain and move forward with a distinctively American voice the one-thousand-year-old boychoir school tradition. The American Boychoir is committed to being the finest choir of its kind in the nation and among the finest in the world. The American Boychoir achieves this each year by recruiting and training talented choristers from across the country.

The Pennington School

The Pennington School faculty and administration foster the individual growth of students through excellence in teaching and a diversity of programs that prepare students to meet the demands of college study; to live a life of integrity, intelligent reflection, and service to others; and to be responsible citizens of the global community.

Boarding Schools in New Mexico--

Navajo Preparatory School The only Navajo-sanctioned, college-preparatory school for Native Americans, Navajo Preparatory School recruits some of the best and brightest students of the Navajo Nation. Looking to the future, the school offers students a challenging, innovative curriculum in science, math, computers, and other traditional academic subjects.

San Cristobal Ranch Academy

The San Cristobal Ranch Academy is a transitional learning center, where students participate in classroom academics and field-based experiential education. The primary focus of these classes is to teach young men (18 and over) important life skills to further develop their minds, bodies, and spirits.

Boarding Schools in New York--

Cascadilla School

Cascadilla School was founded in 1870 as a preparatory school for Cornell University. The philosophy of education at Cascadilla is to provide a flexible, accelerated program within which each individual can achieve his or her goals in preparation for a successful college career. This learning experience emphasizes the steady development of an adult viewpoint and a mature approach to life.

Hoosac School Hoosac School's mission remains true to its founder's philosophy: to develop the character, spirit, mind, and body of its students, to foster independence and self discipline, and to motivate them to develop to their full potential for success in college and for full, productive, and intelligent lives.

Houghton Academy The mission of Houghton Academy is to teach and nurture its students so that each young person makes a personal commitment to Christ; understands the importance of a life of service; grows toward a mature understanding of our society, history, and natural world; develops in physical ability and strength; and exhibits appropriate social courtesies.

Keio Academy of New York Keio Academy of New York was established in 1990 by the Keio Private School System of Japan primarily to meet the needs of Japanese living overseas. Inheriting traditions established by Yukichi Fukuzawa, Keio's founder, Keio Academy of New York is a unique international private academic institution.

Masters School

The mission of the Masters School is to provide the challenging academic environment that, for over a century, has encouraged critical, creative and independent habits of thought as well as a lifelong passion for learning. The Masters School promotes and celebrates academic achievement, artistic development, ethical awareness, technological literacy, athletic endeavor and personal growth.

New York Military Academy The mission of New York Military Academy is to develop all cadets in mind, body and character to prepare them for further education and to be effective leaders and responsible citizens.

Oakwood Friends School Oakwood Friends School, guided by Quaker principles, educates and strengthens young people for lives of conscience, compassion and accomplishment. Students experience a challenging curriculum within a diverse community, dedicated to nurturing the spirit, the scholar, the artist and the athlete in each person.

Redemption Christian Academy Redemption Christian Academy’s objective is to provide an environment conducive to learning. As one of four remaining historically African American boarding schools, RCA has produced graduates of diverse ethnic backgrounds.

Saint Thomas Choir School Saint Thomas Choir School is a fully accredited academic institution for boys from eight to fourteen, with a study program of English, mathematics, history, science, art, Latin, music theory, and instrumental instruction on such instruments as piano, violin, viola, cello, flute, and trumpet.

Stony Brook School The Stony Brook School is an independent college preparatory school (grades 7-12) that exists to challenge young men and women to know Jesus Christ as Lord, to love others as themselves, and to grow in knowledge and skill, in order that they may serve the world through their character and leadership.

The Gow School

The Gow School is the world's preeminent college preparatory school for dyslexic young men. The core component of Gow's unique program for remediating dyslexic learners is called Reconstructive Language. RL is a multi-sensory presentation of language that is reinforced throughout the curriculum. In order to develop mature individuals who understand the importance of citizenship, Gow's academic program extends far beyond the classroom.

Union Springs Academy

Union Springs Academy is a Seventh-day Adventist Christian school where people work together to promote wholeness in a physically, emotionally, and spiritually safe environment. Christ's example is reflected in our commitment to academic excellence and Christian service.

Boarding Schools in North Carolina--

New Leaf Academy New Leaf is a therapeutic boarding school that offers a safe, nurturing environment for struggling middle school age girls. At the time of admission, our students are over 10 and under 14 years of age. Our 18-21 month program teaches positive self-expression, responsibility and helps troubled young girls and their families transition to a better place.

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Stone Mountain School, a therapeutic boarding school for boys located in the mountain setting of a 100-acre campus in western North Carolina, serves boys ages 11 to 16 with issues such as attention deficit disorder and learning disabilities. Stone Mountain School offers numerous outdoor activities that have both a recreation and therapeutic benefit. The beautiful yet rustic surrounding serves as an experiential classroom where the natural and logical consequences of daily living are clear and understood. The program offers group therapy and academics through an adventure-based experiential model. Stone Mountain School creates a caring yet highly structured community by limiting the living and academic group size. Staff teaches and mentor basic living skills while implementing the Level System of Personal Development that is at the core of assisting young men toward responsible, self-managing behavior.

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Talisman Summer Program caters to youth, ages 9-17, with issues such as attention deficit disorder and learning disabilities who would excel in a residential program that focuses on establishing positive routines and provides diverse daily activities. Our activities provide a fun environment in which campers can develop self-esteem, trust in self and others, and the basics of good decision-making. We believe that the skills learned during our programming will later transfer to home, school, and in other social settings.

Asheville School Every action undertaken by faculty and staff at Asheville School supports their mission: To prepare our students for college and for life, and to provide an atmosphere in which all members of a diverse school community appreciate and strive for excellence - an atmosphere which nurtures character and fosters the development of mind, body, and spirit.

Auldern Academy Auldern Academy is a college-preparatory boarding school with a personal growth curriculum that offers a traditional boarding school environment with challenging but supportive academics and a personal growth program designed to prepare young women for college matriculation and independence.

Christ School Christ School is a college preparatory school affiliated with the Episcopal Church. Our mission is to produce educated men of good character, prepared for both scholastic achievement in college and productive citizenship in adult society.

Saint Mary's School Founded in 1842, Saint Mary's School in Raleigh, North Carolina is an independent, Episcopal, college-preparatory, boarding and day school, dedicated to academic excellence and personal achievement for young women in grades 9-12.

Salem Academy Salem Academy is committed to providing an atmosphere in which the intellectual, spiritual, social, physical, and personal growth of each student is fostered. Ever mindful of their Christian heritage and commitment to education as an independent school, they pledge to retain and nurture those values which promote growth and are important in society.

The Patterson School

The Patterson School is dedicated to providing family-oriented college-preparatory education for the development of the whole person. A Patterson education develops skills, knowledge, experience, and attitudes required for a student to get into the college of choice and to be successful and happy in his or her future life.

Boarding Schools in North Dakota--

Oak Grove Lutheran School

Oak Grove Lutheran School's mission is to express God's love by nurturing young men and women for academic achievement, lifelong Christian commitment and loving service throughout the world.

Online Parent Support

Parenting Rebellious Teens

One day you wake up and find that life has changed forever. Instead of greeting you with a hug, your little boy rolls his eyes when you say "good morning" and shouts, "You're ruining my life!" You may think you've stepped into the Twilight Zone, but you've actually been thrust into your son's teen years.

During adolescence, teens start to break away from parents and become "their own person." Some talk back, ignore rules and slack off at school. Others may sneak out or break curfew. Still others experiment with alcohol, tobacco or drugs. So how can you tell the difference between normal teen rebellion versus dangerous behavior? And what's the best way for a parent to respond?

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