````````````````````````````````
Hi A.,
Bullying should only be verbal. Physical aggression or real meanness between siblings is a sign of displaced angry feelings.
Although the child being victimized appears to get your sympathy, that child needs to learn an effective defense, which you can teach.
==> JOIN Online Parent Support
Implementing what is known as the Talk-Walk-Squawk rule in your household can be effective, especially in empowering younger children who are being bullied.
Talk - The child being bullied should be taught to use words of empowerment to their siblings such as “stop” and “I’m not afraid of you.”
Walk - The bullied child should then walk away from the scene.
Squawk - The bullied child should tell a parent or a trusted adult about the incident. It’s important to make sure they know this is not “tattling” but a way to work on a solution to their problem.
Countering the bullying-behavior includes:
· Help each child learn skills for handling their emotions – They may not understand or know a better way to express their disappointment, hurt or anger.
· Making sure each child adheres to the rules – There must be clear consequences when breaking the rules and you must be consistent in your enforcement of these consequences.
· Making sure each child knows the household rules – There should not be any hitting or pushing.
Here are a few questions that may help in that process of understanding the bullying behavior:
· How is the child’s home life? Children do learn by example and even though it may be difficult for some parents, an honest assessment of their home environment is necessary.
· Have your child’s circle of friends changed? Any new friend in the picture? Never under estimate the influence of other children. Your child may now be newly exposed to the power of bullying – on the giving end or receiving end. This includes cyber-bullying.
· Has your child had any major lifestyle changes such as moving to a new neighborhood/school, death of close relative, parental divorce or remarriage? Your child may be acting out his frustration and difficulty dealing with their emotions on anyone they can.
· Does the bullying sibling focus on only one child? This may be sibling rivalry gone awry and it could have more to do with you (getting your attention) than with the child he/she bullies.
Given the normal amount of teasing and bickering in any family, it can be difficult for parents to know where to draw the line. Ideally, we want our children to learn to work out disagreements among themselves. But when is adult intervention necessary?
Here’s a good rule of thumb:
Behavior that would be unacceptable between two unrelated children is unacceptable between two siblings. When one child intentionally and consistently hurts or frightens a smaller or less powerful sibling, that’s bullying — and it needs to stop.
Refer to the strategy entitled “When You Want Something From Your Kid” [Anger Management Chapter – Online Version of the eBook] for specific steps.
Mark Hutten, M.A.
==> JOIN Online Parent Support
More articles.....
During adolescence, teens start to break away from parents and become "their own person." Some talk back, ignore rules and slack off at school. Others may sneak out or break curfew. Still others experiment with alcohol, tobacco or drugs. So how can you tell the difference between normal teen rebellion versus dangerous behavior? And what's the best way for a parent to respond?
Click here for full article...
------------------------------
Outbursts, rages, and strife become a way of life (an emotionally unhealthy way of life). We set aside our own needs and focus on the needs of our children. But what does it cost us?
Click here for the full article...
------------------------------
