Do you think a camp would help?

I just ordered your OPS e-book and have been going over it. Our 17 YO son is very rebellious and demanding. He is very materialistic but is not motivated to work for his "stuff". We have tried many techniques but haven't found any that work. We are indulgent parents and he fits your model. We will implement your techniques but feel more may be needed and we were thinking about a camp. We think the separation from us may be helpful and will open his eyes. Today is his birthday and we have yet to come up with a plan because of his behavior yesterday when he told my wife to shut up when she made him get off the computer and refused to give him more free time because he did not do his small chores. Do you think a camp would help?

He was diagnosed as ADHD by an Army doctor, but a later analysis by a psychologist revealed he only had a motivation problem. He gets in a lot of trouble at school to include smoking and hanging out with the wrong crowd. We have had to limit his music listening because it sounds very violent. I am rambling so will sign off but interested in your view. We will order the CDs to listen to while driving.

Sincerely,

C.,

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Hi C.,

Re: Do you think a camp would help?

I don’t think it would hurt. But sending a child to camp is just another traditional parenting strategy that will have very little bang for your buck.

Re: He was diagnosed as ADHD by an Army doctor, but a later analysis by a psychologist revealed he only had a motivation problem.

This is just 2 different names for the same problem (i.e., your son is only motivated to do that which he has an interest in).

I would encourage you to simply work the program for now – one week at a time – and nothing more. Then see how things are going in about 3 – 4 weeks.

I know you want a break FROM your son, but now you have the tools you need to set up a better parent-child relationship such that you won’t need a time-out away from him.

Mark

P.S. ==> BE SURE to watch ALL the Instructional Videos!!!

My Out-of-Control Teen

I don't feel I can take away her car or gas money as then she could not go to school or look for work....

I am a single parent of a 16 yr old girl. I had to quit my job or move last year. I quit my job and began working out of town often last year.

My daughter dropped out of high school (she was in AP) and just took the high school proficiency because she wants to go directly to college. Part of the agreement was that she would go out and get a job to pay for her gas and incidentals. She says she is looking for a job, but she hasn't put in any applications. We live out of town, and she has a college summer school class 4 nights a week. I don't feel I can take away her car or gas money as then she could not go to school or look for work. Any suggestions?

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She should “earn” gas money and money for incidentals by performing chores around the house if she can’t – or won’t – find employment at a place of business. “Earning” her gas money and freedom is the larger issue here.

Now she can have a choice, work at home – or work out of the home, but it should be one or the other. Otherwise, you are back to over-indulgence again.

Mark

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