I called the police...

Hello Mark,

First of all, sincere thank you for your quick reply.

It has been just more than a week since I last wrote to you, but during that time my life changed so much.

I realised that my 'big fish' is actually a shark (grown up by myself). But I have not given up and I have been consistent with all that I need to do.

I quit my job (at least for now) but I continue with the programme. My father came to stay with me for a couple of weeks as my husband is working in another town.

What actually happened is something that I did not have even in my nightmares. And it was my mistake that I did not think about this possibility and did not prepare myself for that. My son's resistance to the new parenting style (introduced very carefully) got to his old self enough and well known weapon-physical violence. I was punched several times one day as I had to go 'back to normal' and for the first time in my life I called the police. My son was given final warning and his violent reaction is stopped now. Meanwhile, he had never witnessed nor suffered violence in our family.

There is some kind of resentment at present which is broken from time to time by brief 'sunny spells'. For the first time in my son's life he did not get what he wanted at home and for the first time in my life I was confident enough that I am doing the right thing for my child. And this is because I have now complete understanding of what have caused his behavior and for example, I do not wonder anymore why he is disrespectful most of the time.

Things are changing with ups and downs, joy and pain, but anyway they are changing and this is the most important.

I continue my job at home -- I speak, I explain and I am calm. If I had this knowledge 5 years ago, we would not get to the point where we are now and would experience much less difficulties, but there you are...

Therefore, I would say that I even more appreciate that I found in OPS and thank you again!

K.

Online Parent Support (OPS)

Parenting a Bipolar Teenager

Hello Mark,

I have downloaded your book and looked over most of it and I'm seeing a lot of helpful strategies. My husband seems to want to close his eyes and the nightmare will go away. I want to deal with the problems head on. Our son will not comply with anything we tell him. I'm scared of his violent outbursts due to many holes in our walls and doors. We have dealt with the law, med. professionals, etc.. We have diagnosis of ADHD, ODD, and bi-polar. I currently am trying to place him in a medical residential center, but it is taking months. And I don't think that we have much time left.

He currently is in an outpatient behavioral health center. He won't take the meds. The psychotherapist said that he could use residential treatment. He talks about hating his life all the time. Drugs, alcohol, sex and wrong friends are his choices. He quit school at 16 and will be 17 on 9/3/09. He said he is leaving soon. He wants to be emancipated! He currently is working less than 30hrs at a fast food rest… never saving a dime.

He is in a GED program a few hours a week. I will not allow him to get a driver's license, due to his present problems. It is difficult to give you a summary of our Son's info. I could write a book on all that we have tried to help him with over the years. Maybe you could give us some advice on how to enforce rules and what are our options when he refuses to comply. The laws are on his side. We can't tell him to hit the road, because he is still legally our responsibility. Thank you for listening and looking forward to your reply.

C.

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Hi C.,

The bipolar issue is the most pressing one. CLICK HERE for more info.

Also click here for a PDF file that you should read.

Mark