When Your Teen Breaks The Law

When teens break the law, they’re handled in a different way than a grown-up who commits the same criminal offense. The aim of the law would be to discipline the teenagers for what they’ve done, but also to provide them with an opportunity to learn from their blunders.

Often the adolescent is spoken to about the criminal offense by law enforcement, and when the adolescent confesses taking part in the criminal offense, it’s usually kept out of legal courts (if the adolescent hasn’t experienced prior trouble with the law). Rather than going to court, it’s usually dealt with in a manner in which the adolescent is responsible for repaying any damages he’s done and returning any stolen property. An apology and an explanation to the victim may also be a stipulation.

Offenses by teenagers can consist of simple things like trespassing or as severe as robbery or even worse. More severe offenses can end with the adolescent needing to appear in court. In these instances, a family group conference is generally called. This requires the mother and father, somebody that represents the law, and somebody serving as a youth advocate. The consequence for the adolescent is talked about, along with reparations and penalties. These proposals are offered to the Judge for consideration.

The individual who was the victim has a voice in the issue too. The victim is permitted to consult with the Judge to convey how the crime impacted him or his loved ones and what he would like to have specified as a consequence. His viewpoint will be taken into account by the Judge, but that doesn’t mean that the Judge will discipline the adolescent in the way that the victim has advised.

Once the matter is kept out of court, the adolescent is expected to follow the rules set down by the meeting (e.g., attending school without missing any days or being late, attending counseling meetings, working a part-time job to pay restitution, reporting to a guidance counselor weekly, etc.). The mother and father are often included in the future plans, sometimes in the form of attending family counseling sessions with the juvenile. When the adolescent does not comply, then the issue is generally taken up at court.

Juvenile courts usually have jurisdiction over matters concerning children, including delinquency, neglect, and adoption. They also handle "status offenses" such as truancy and running away, which are not applicable to adults. State statutes define which persons are under the original jurisdiction of the juvenile court. The upper age of juvenile court jurisdiction in delinquency matters is 17 in most states.

Many juveniles are referred to juvenile courts by law enforcement officers, but many others are referred by school officials, social services agencies, neighbors, and even parents, for behavior or conditions that are determined to require intervention by the formal system for social control.

Whenever it becomes a courtroom issue, factors change. More stringent fees and penalties are suggested and there tend to be more serious consequences if the adolescent does not comply. In certain states, the mother and father could be held accountable for the financial part of the fine and for ensuring the adolescent attends counseling and school.

The consequences may differ based upon the crime that's committed. For a simple trespassing charge the adolescent may get just a stern warning from law enforcement and escorted home in the cop car with a warning to stay a certain distance from the crime scene. Regarding vandalism the culprit is generally required to begin some form of counseling and to repair or pay for any damages. For any more severe criminal offense like robbery the adolescent is going to be ordered to make financial restitution along with counseling, and perhaps probation.

The adolescent meets with a probation officer weekly and talks about how he has spent his time in the previous week. Occasionally the officer requires merely a telephone call once per week to determine how the juvenile is doing.

After showing that he can stay out of trouble, the adolescent’s probation is lifted and life returns to normalcy (hopefully). When the adolescent gets in trouble once again during probation, the issue is generally taken to court so a Judge can order that the adolescent be taken to a juvenile hall. Juvenile halls are a kind of jail for young, repeat offenders. They're confined in barracks and provided counseling while working to keep the hall in order. This may include cooking food, cleaning, washing bathrooms or mowing and trimming grass. Discipline is stiff, but the adolescent can earn merits towards being released with good conduct.

If your child has been charged with a crime, you definitely need a criminal law lawyer. The lawyer you retain should be one that is specifically experienced with juvenile law because juvenile law and the process of handling juveniles is a lot different than the adult criminal system.

==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents

Dealing with Strong-Willed Children and Teens

Parenting presents challenges no matter what the temperament of your youngster. However, when your youngster displays behaviors that are intense, persistent and oppositional, parenting becomes even more challenging. These kids often are identified as strong-willed.

Strong-willed kids usually think they know best, and they often are unwilling to cooperate or compromise with moms and dads or others. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to help you maintain your sanity while guiding your strong-willed youngster on his journey through childhood.

A strong-willed youngster is one who tries to gain power over any situation he finds himself in. He pushes boundaries and will not take "no" for an answer. The most important action is being consistent in the way you enforce your disciplinary techniques. Make sure you also direct your strong-willed youngster's powerful energy toward positive goals, so that you don't dampen his spirit.

Here are the top 10 parenting strategies for strong-willed, out-of-control children and teens:

1. The first and hardest lesson to learn is patience. A strong-willed child loves to agitate and antagonize, creating a heated debate, an angry home or any other unpleasant social environment. This is his goal, and usually, he succeeds. Patience means (a) hold back angry outbursts, and (b) use an understanding, calm approach to each tense situation.

2. Accept your youngster unconditionally. Loving your youngster unconditionally, no matter how often he misbehaves or frustrates you, is essential for the well-being of all kids. The behaviors of a strong-willed youngster often make him "unlikable," but he must know that he will always have your love and support.

3. Always be true to your word. Understand that your strong-willed youngster can take advantage of you if you do not do this because you are too busy or too tired to follow through on what you have previously stated. If, for example, you have said that you will not allow your youngster to watch television if he does not cooperate, then you must take this privilege away from him for some time.

4. Avoid nagging, blaming or shaming. As your youngster challenges you with misbehavior, excessive energy and resistance, it is easy to fall into a habit of yelling and blaming him. However, this only creates anger and fuels the power struggle between the two of you. Similarly, nagging your youngster creates added frustration for both of you. Instead, parent with love and rely on the clear rules and boundaries you have already set. Rather than nagging or yelling, speak calmly and clearly; make sure to maintain consistency.

5. Channel his behaviors. Rather than trying to rid your youngster of his challenging behaviors, try to channel those behaviors into constructive activities. For example, strong-willed kids tend to have a lot of energy that can be channeled into hobbies such as sports, art or musical endeavors. Direct your strong-willed youngster's energy into constructive activities like volunteering in the community or playing on sports teams.

6. Do your best to exercise patience in the midst of conflicts with your strong-willed youngster. Recognize the fact that your screaming will only add fuel to his fire. Stand firm without provoking your youngster to fight against you.

7. Leave the room when your strong-willed youngster will not stop throwing a tantrum, as long as he is not in danger of being harmed if you do so. Understand that once your youngster realizes that his screaming, crying and fussing do not affect you, he will eventually stop this behavior on his own.

8. Look your strong-willed youngster right in the eye when you speak to him to block out any surrounding distractions. Do this whether you are disciplining him or engaging in a normal conversation. Understand that your youngster needs to know he has your full attention (as strong-willed kids are often just looking for attention when employing their willful nature).

9. Praise your youngster. Focus on positive rather than negative messages. Let your youngster know that you believe in his ability to make correct decisions, and praise him for doing so.

10. Set clear limits, and follow through with consequences. A strong-willed youngster needs to know what you expect of her. Set clear rules and limits, and discuss these with your youngster. But do not create a rule for every behavior. Too many rules and limits will exhaust you as you try to enforce every one and will also frustrate your youngster. When you have discussed the rules with your youngster, let him know what the consequence will be for not following rules, and consistently follow through with the consequences. If you discipline inconsistently, your youngster will continue to test the limits. Understand that strong-willed kids need to experience the consequences of their actions (instead of simply listening to your reasoning). Figure out what matters the most to your youngster to create the most appropriate consequences for him when his behavior gets out of control.

==> Help for Parents with Strong-Willed, Out-of-Control Teens

How to Mediate Sibling Rivalry

The nice thing about having more than one youngster is that two or more can entertain each other. The bad thing is they tend to fight amongst themselves.

The guidelines in this post will help you step back and remove yourself from some of their conflict. Taking a neutral role may force them to learn how manage differences and get along.

If you find yourself spending a lot of time interceding in your kid's arguments, then the following tips might save you a few headaches:

1. Teach older kids to respect other views. Help them learn to be good listeners and be sure they understand what the other person wants to say before expressing their own opinions. Emphasize the value of compromise or a win-win approach so that everyone comes away from a dispute feeling respected if not gratified. Model a similar technique in your own conflicts at home or in public so that kids can learn from your example.

2. Mediate stalemates. When you discern that the children are having trouble resolving disagreements, you may want to become a moderator, which is somewhat different from refereeing. A moderator allows all parties to take turns voicing concerns, and then asks questions or makes statements to help the group accept and consider the others' views. Occasionally the process is time-consuming, depending on the age of the children, but it is more likely to be over in a matter of minutes as the children grow tired of negotiations and look for something more fun to do. Even a little bit of round robin communication can introduce them to fair-minded conflict resolution, a skill of vital importance to adults.

3. Keep your ears open. Even when you decide not to get involved, listen from a distance to find out how they are dealing with tensions. If one threatens or bullies the other, you may need to step in after all. But if they decide to forget it or negotiate to find common ground, even when you don't completely agree with the outcome, stay out of it. Children will learn from failed consequences as much as they do from effective ones.

4. Divert young kids. Preschoolers who frequently tussle may not be able to discuss much of anything with each other or you, especially when tired or ill. But they can be separated from each other. Sometimes redirecting them to another activity, like a video, can solve the problem instantly.

5. Distinguish between the merely annoying and the truly alarming conflicts. Most children bicker frequently, and moms/dads generally know when it's serious or not. When you hear screeching voices and crashing items, you know it's time to get involved. Otherwise, you may want to bite your tongue and let your kids begin to learn how to manage their own disputes. While you have to oversee most young kid’s fights, you gradually can maintain some distance and perspective as kids grow older.

Argument is an essential part of communication, for it allows us to explore other viewpoints and reconsider our own. As your kids mature, give them increasing responsibility for managing differences with others while you, as mother/father, continue to maintain a watchful eye on the proceedings.

==> Help for Parents with Oppositional Children and Teens