When Teens Destroy Parents' Property for Revenge


In this article, we will explore the reasons behind teenage destructive behavior and discuss strategies to prevent and handle these situations effectively.

First, let's dive into the reasons why teenagers may resort to destroying their parents' property for revenge. Adolescence is a stage filled with emotions, and sometimes teenagers struggle to express their anger in healthy ways. They may feel misunderstood, neglected, or unfairly treated, leading to feelings of resentment and a desire for retaliation. It's vital for parents and guardians to empathize with their teenagers and validate their emotions, creating a safe space for open communication and problem-solving.

Effective communication and setting clear boundaries are crucial in preventing destructive behavior. Encouraging open dialogues and active listening can help parents and teenagers understand each other's perspectives. Establishing boundaries can help manage expectations and avoid situations that may trigger acts of revenge. By maintaining a healthy level of respect and understanding, parents can foster a supportive environment where conflicts can be resolved in a constructive manner.

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To effectively intervene, it's essential to recognize the warning signs that indicate a teenager's potential for destructive behavior. These signs may include sudden changes in behavior, aggression, verbal threats, or displays of extreme anger. Stay alert and address these warning signs promptly, reaching out for professional help if necessary. Early intervention can prevent further escalation and provide the necessary support for both the teenager and the family.

Building strong relationships with teenagers is key in preventing destructive acts. Parents should invest time and effort in fostering trust, understanding, and empathy. By actively participating in their lives, showing genuine interest, and providing avenues for personal growth, parents can create a strong foundation of love and support. When teenagers feel valued and heard, they are less likely to resort to destructive behavior as a means of retaliation.

When faced with challenging behavior, it's important to utilize positive discipline strategies that focus on teaching and guiding rather than punishment. This includes setting clear expectations, enforcing consequences in a fair and consistent manner, and providing opportunities for growth and learning. By promoting accountability and responsibility, parents can help teenagers develop essential life skills and make better choices.

Empowering teenagers with emotional intelligence is key in helping them manage their anger constructively. Teaching them to identify and understand their emotions, as well as providing them with healthy coping mechanisms, can significantly reduce the likelihood of destructive behavior. Encourage activities such as journaling, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in hobbies that promote emotional well-being.

Educating teenagers about the consequences of destructive behavior is crucial. Through open conversations and real-life examples, parents can help them understand the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Highlighting the legal, financial, and emotional consequences in a non-judgmental manner can serve as a deterrent and promote responsible decision-making.

In some cases, destructive behavior may be indicative of underlying emotional or psychological issues. It is important for parents to recognize when to seek professional help. Consulting with therapists, counselors, or other mental health professionals can provide valuable support and guidance in understanding and addressing the root causes of the destructive behavior.

Encouraging teenagers to engage in healthy outlets for their emotions can be an effective strategy. This could include participating in sports, joining clubs or organizations, or pursuing creative activities. Physical exercise, creative expression, and social connections can help teenagers channel their frustrations and negative emotions in a positive way.

It's important to recognize and address any unhealthy family dynamics that may contribute to destructive behavior. Family therapy or counseling can provide a platform for open communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening family bonds. By fostering a supportive and nurturing environment, parents can create a strong foundation for healthier interactions and prevent incidents of revenge-driven destruction.

Teaching teenagers the importance of taking responsibility for their actions is crucial in preventing destructive behavior. By encouraging accountability, parents can empower teenagers to learn from their mistakes, make amends, and grow as individuals. This includes apologizing and finding ways to repair the damage caused by their destructive actions.

Positive peer relationships play a significant role in promoting healthy behavior. Encouraging teenagers to surround themselves with supportive and like-minded friends can reduce the chances of destructive behavior influenced by negative peer pressure. By fostering a sense of belonging and connection, parents can help their teenagers navigate the challenges of adolescence more effectively.

Parents must never underestimate the power of their influence on their teenagers' behavior. Modeling healthy communication, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution skills are essential. By leading by example, parents can instill values, empathy, and resilience in their teenagers, helping them make positive choices and reducing the likelihood of destructive revenge scenarios.

In conclusion, understanding why teenagers may resort to destroying their parents' property for revenge is essential in finding proactive solutions. By fostering open communication, setting boundaries, and providing support, parents can empower their teenagers to handle their anger in healthy ways.

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The Negative Consequences of Strict Parenting: Tips for Parents with ASD


Some parents on the autism spectrum can be overly-strict with their children. In this article, I'll be discussing the negative consequences of this style of parenting. It's important to understand that while discipline is necessary, being overly strict can have detrimental effects on a child's development.

One of the consequences of strict parenting is that it often leads to limited emotional expression in children. When parents are too strict, children may become afraid to express their true emotions, fearing punishment or rejection. This can hinder their ability to develop healthy emotional skills and can even lead to emotional suppression later in life.

Strict parenting can also result in low self-esteem in children. Constant criticism, harsh punishments, and unrealistic expectations can chip away at a child's self-confidence. They may start doubting their abilities and develop a negative self-image. This can have long-lasting effects on their sense of self-worth and overall happiness.

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Overly strict parenting can hinder a child's ability to develop independence. When parents control every aspect of their child's life, it leaves little room for them to make decisions and develop problem-solving skills. As a result, they may struggle in adulthood when faced with real-world challenges and decision-making.

Children raised by overly strict parents often face difficulties in building social skills. Strict rules and limited freedom can make it challenging for them to interact with their peers and establish meaningful relationships. This can lead to feelings of isolation and hinder their ability to navigate social situations effectively.

Strict parenting can contribute to higher levels of anxiety and stress in children. Constant pressure to meet unrealistic expectations and the fear of punishment can create a highly stressful environment. This can have a negative impact on their mental health, leading to anxiety disorders and other stress-related conditions.

Overly strict parenting can result in rebellion and resentment in children. When they feel suffocated and controlled, they may resort to rebellious behavior as a means of asserting their independence. This can strain the parent-child relationship and create a hostile home environment.

Strict parenting often leads to excessive academic pressure on children. Parents may set unrealistically high standards and place immense pressure on their children to achieve top grades. This can have negative effects on their mental well-being and hinder their overall academic performance.

Children who grow up with overly strict parents often struggle with problem-solving skills. Since their parents make most decisions for them, they may not have the opportunity to develop critical thinking and problem-solving abilities. This can impact their ability to handle challenges and obstacles effectively in adulthood.

Another consequence of strict parenting is that it can hinder a child's ability to express their individuality. When parents enforce rigid rules and expectations, children may feel compelled to conform and suppress their unique interests and desires. This can lead to a lack of self-discovery and self-expression in the long run.

Overly strict parenting can strain the parent-child relationship. Harsh punishments, lack of trust, and constant control can create a distance between parent and child. This can result in a breakdown of communication and a strained bond that may be difficult to repair.

Children raised in overly strict households may experience difficulties in their future relationships. The lack of emotional expression, low self-esteem, and poor social skills acquired in childhood can impact their ability to form healthy and fulfilling relationships later in life.

Strict parenting can make it challenging for children to cope with failure. As they are constantly under pressure to meet high expectations, failure can be devastating for them. They may struggle with resilience and may be afraid to take risks in fear of disappointing their parents.

Overly strict parenting can limit a child's creativity and innovation. When they are bound by rules and expectations, it leaves little space for imagination and exploration. This can hinder their ability to think outside the box and stifle their growth in creative fields.

In conclusion, it's important to find a balance between discipline and flexibility as a parent. Being overly strict can have long-term negative consequences on a child's emotional, social, and mental well-being. By fostering a nurturing and supportive environment, we can give our children the tools they need to thrive and lead fulfilling lives.

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Vaping and the Negative Impact on Your Teenager’s Health

Vaping has become increasingly popular among young people, but it is crucial to understand the risks associated with this habit. Before we explore the dangers, let's start by understanding what vaping is. Vaping refers to the inhalation of aerosolized substances, typically through an electronic cigarette or similar device. These devices heat a liquid, often containing nicotine or other chemicals, producing a vapor that can be inhaled. Many believe that vaping is a safer alternative to smoking, but the truth is, it comes with its own set of risks and hazards.

When it comes to the dangers of vaping, the most prominent concern is the impact on our health. Vaping has been linked to various health risks including lung damage, respiratory issues, and cardiovascular problems. The chemicals present in the vaping liquid can cause inflammation and irritation in the lungs, leading to severe lung diseases such as popcorn lung. Additionally, the nicotine content in e-cigarettes can have detrimental effects on brain development, especially in young individuals.

Another critical aspect to consider is the addictive nature of vaping. Nicotine, a highly addictive substance, is commonly found in e-cigarettes, hookah pens, and other vaping devices. The addictive properties of nicotine can lead to dependency and make it challenging for individuals to quit vaping. Over time, the addiction can affect various aspects of life, including mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.

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One of the most alarming aspects of vaping is its impact on youth. Vaping has gained popularity among teenagers and young adults, often enticing them with appealing flavors and stylish designs. This widespread use among the youth is concerning as it can lead to a lifelong addiction and potential health complications. It is crucial to educate the younger generation about the dangers of vaping and encourage them to make informed decisions.

Apart from the well-known risks, vaping also poses hidden dangers. There have been cases where e-cigarette devices have exploded, causing severe injuries and burns. The faulty batteries in these devices can be a significant safety hazard. Moreover, the act of vaping itself can lead to accidents due to impaired judgment, especially when done while driving or engaging in other activities.

The marketing tactics employed by vaping companies are another concern to address. They often target young individuals through strategic advertising, catchy slogans, and endorsements by influencers. These marketing strategies can normalize vaping culture, making it seem trendy and harmless. It is important to be aware of such tactics and understand that the marketing messages may not always reflect the reality of the dangers associated with vaping.

Not only does vaping pose risks to the individuals engaging in it, but it also affects those around them. Second-hand vaping refers to the inhalation of exhaled e-cigarette aerosol by non-users. This can expose bystanders, friends, and family members to harmful chemicals, further emphasizing the importance of creating a smoke-free environment.

Understanding the regulatory framework and legality surrounding vaping is crucial. Laws and regulations regarding vaping differ across jurisdictions, and it is essential to be aware of the rules in your specific location. Some countries have imposed restrictions on the sale and marketing of vaping products, whereas others have banned them altogether. Staying informed about the legal implications will help you make informed choices.

If you or someone you know is struggling with vaping addiction, here are some tips to quit. Firstly, seek support from friends, family, or support groups. They can provide guidance and encouragement throughout the journey. Secondly, gradually reduce nicotine intake by choosing lower nicotine concentration e-liquids or using nicotine replacement therapies. Lastly, engage in healthy alternatives and activities that can help distract from cravings, such as exercise or hobbies.

To combat the dangers of vaping, educational initiatives play a vital role. Schools, communities, and healthcare organizations can collaborate to raise awareness about the risks and consequences of vaping. Education should focus on providing accurate information, debunking myths, and equipping individuals with the knowledge to make informed decisions.

Research studies have consistently highlighted the dangers of vaping. According to the National Academy of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, there is substantial evidence that vaping is associated with adverse health effects, including lung injury and nicotine addiction. Various scientific publications and government agencies around the world have echoed these findings, further emphasizing the need to address this growing public health concern.

Parents play a crucial role in preventing and addressing vaping among their children. Open communication, setting clear expectations, and being aware of the signs of vaping can all contribute to a proactive approach. It is essential for parents to educate themselves about the dangers of vaping and have conversations with their children, emphasizing the risks and promoting healthy alternatives.

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Help for Distraught Parents of Defiant Teenagers: Discipline Methods That WORK!

One day you wake up and find that life has changed forever. Instead of greeting you with a hug, your little boy rolls his eyes when you say "good morning" and shouts, "You're ruining my life!" You may think you've stepped into the Twilight Zone, but you've actually been thrust into your son's teen years.

During adolescence, teens start to break away from parents and become "their own person." Some talk back, ignore rules and slack off at school. Others may sneak out or break curfew. Still others experiment with alcohol, tobacco or drugs. So how can you tell the difference between normal teen rebellion versus dangerous behavior? And what's the best way for a parent to respond?

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Many families of defiant children live in a home that has become a battleground. In the beginning, the daily struggles can be expected. After all, we knew that problems would occur. Initially, stress can be so subtle that we lose sight of a war, which others do not realize is occurring. We honestly believe that we can work through the problems.

Outbursts, rages, and strife become a way of life (an emotionally unhealthy way of life). We set aside our own needs and focus on the needs of our children. But what does it cost us?

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The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing teens with serious behavioral problems. Disrespect, anger, violent rages, self-injury, running away from home, school failure, hanging-out with the wrong crowd, drug abuse, theft, and legal problems are just some of the behaviors that parents of defiant teens will have to learn to control.

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Parenting Kids and Teens with Emotional & Behavioral Issues - On FACEBOOK

 


Dear Parents,

Join our new Facebook "private group" that provides support and education for parents of children and teenagers who exhibit difficult and destructive behavioral patterns associated with ADHD, ODD, ASD, anxiety disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, learning disorders, conduct disorders, OCD, PTSD, and much more.

Look for great content on a daily basis. We will be providing a lot of videos and articles that will offer instruction and moral support for parents who are at their "wits-end."

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Is Your Adolescent Exhibiting "Normal" Teenage Rebellion or Is He/She Headed for a Train Wreck?

In this article, we will discuss key signs and factors that can help you distinguish between normal teenage rebellion versus dangerous behavior. Understanding this difference is crucial for parents, teachers, and anyone working with teenagers.

First, let's define what we mean by normal teen rebellion. During adolescence, it's common for teenagers to push boundaries, seek more independence, and express themselves differently. This phase is a natural part of their development, as they explore their identities and test their own limits. It may involve engaging in minor acts of rebellion, such as experimenting with different styles, challenging authority figures, or questioning societal norms. However, it is important to remember that this rebellious behavior is typically harmless and doesn't pose a significant threat to their well-being.

Now, let's shift our focus to indicators of dangerous behavior in teenagers. Dangerous behavior goes beyond the typical rebellious acts and can have serious consequences. Some warning signs to watch out for include sudden changes in behavior, extreme aggression, self-harm, substance abuse, isolation from family and friends, and persistent disregard for rules and boundaries. It's essential to pay attention to these red flags and take appropriate action to ensure the well-being of the teenager and those around them.

To better differentiate between normal teen rebellion and dangerous behavior, it's important to understand the underlying motivations. Normal rebellion is often driven by a desire for personal growth, independence, and autonomy. Teenagers may engage in rebellious acts as a way to express their individuality and assert their own choices. On the other hand, dangerous behavior is often rooted in deeper issues such as trauma, mental health problems, or peer pressure. Recognizing these motivations can help us respond appropriately and provide the necessary support.

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One of the key factors in managing both normal rebellion and dangerous behavior is effective communication and support. A supportive and open environment allows teenagers to express their feelings and concerns without fear of judgment or punishment. It's crucial to have regular conversations with them, asking open-ended questions, actively listening, and showing empathy. By providing a safe space, we can guide them towards positive choices and help them navigate through challenges they might be facing.

In some cases, when the line between normal rebellion and dangerous behavior becomes blurred, it may be necessary to seek professional help. Mental health professionals, counselors, or therapists can provide valuable guidance and support to both teenagers and their families. They can help assess the severity of the behavior, address underlying issues, and develop appropriate intervention plans. Remember, it's okay to ask for help when needed, as it can make a significant difference in the well-being and future of the teenager.

Building trust and understanding with teenagers is essential in addressing both normal rebellion and dangerous behavior. Show them that you genuinely care, and your intentions are to support and guide them. Avoid judgmental language and instead, validate their emotions and experiences. By fostering a safe and trusting relationship, you can create an environment where they feel comfortable opening up and seeking guidance when needed. Remember, your role is to be a trusted ally, not an authoritarian figure.

It's not just about understanding the difference between normal rebellion and dangerous behavior for ourselves. As responsible adults, we also have a duty to educate others. Share your knowledge with fellow parents, teachers, and community members. Organize workshops or informational sessions to raise awareness about the signs and consequences of dangerous behavior. By spreading this awareness, we can create a supportive and informed network that promotes the well-being of teenagers in our communities.

Establishing clear boundaries is essential in managing both normal rebellion and dangerous behavior. Set realistic expectations and communicate them effectively. Make sure the teenager understands the consequences of their actions and the reasons behind the rules. However, it's equally important to allow them some autonomy and flexibility within these boundaries. Find a balance between providing guidance and giving them space to learn and grow. Clear boundaries help create a sense of security and stability for teenagers.

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While we focus on the challenges and risks associated with teen behavior, let's also acknowledge their strengths. Teenagers possess remarkable resilience and creativity. They have the potential to make positive contributions to society. Recognize their achievements, talents, and interests. Encourage them to channel their energy into activities they are passionate about. By nurturing their strengths and encouraging their personal growth, we can help steer them toward a path of success and fulfillment.

No one can handle the challenges of raising a teenager alone. Building a supportive network is crucial. Connect with other parents, join support groups, or seek guidance from professionals. Share your experiences, learn from others, and offer support to those who might be facing similar struggles. Together, we can create a network of understanding, empathy, and shared resources that strengthens our ability to address normal rebellion and dangerous behavior effectively.

Mental health plays a significant role in teenage behavior. Promote mental well-being by encouraging self-care practices, healthy coping mechanisms, and open conversations about emotions. Encourage teenagers to seek professional help if they are struggling with mental health issues. By prioritizing mental health, we can reduce the risk of dangerous behavior and provide teenagers with the support they need to navigate the challenges of adolescence.

While it's important to differentiate between normal rebellion and dangerous behavior, it's equally crucial to recognize our own limits. We are not expected to have all the answers or be able to solve every problem. It's okay to seek help and involve professionals when necessary. Our role is to support, guide, and provide a safe environment for teenagers. Understanding our boundaries ensures that we can continue to offer the best possible support without feeling overwhelmed.

By fostering open communication, building trust, and seeking professional help when necessary, we can make a positive impact and ensure the well-being of our teenagers.

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Wife feels abandoned by husband and is embarrassed by son's behavior...

 Hi T.,

== > I’ve responded throughout your email below:

Mark:

Thank you so much for the MOOCT website. Our son is 15 and we love him to bits - he isincredible, and he drives us crazy. Most of what we've found at your site is not news to us, but it's an organized and concrete approach that gives us tools, not idealisms. I am especially grateful for the dialogue you give us to repeat over and over; so much easier to not say the wrong things when we have a script to follow!

The Kid is just starting on High Risk diversion (county program) for multiple unruly filings and escalating behavior over the past 9 months. No drugs (multiple clean tests), no physicial violence, worst "community" crimes are curfew violations (regularly) and a couple of fights (rarely - last >1 year ago). Our major problems with him have been school (passed all classes this semester, at last, but with HUGE support from the school), outright refusal to follow house rules/parental edicts, and "loud and hurtful language" coupled with intimidating behavior (punching walls, slamming doors, blocking path) at the most minor of provocations (ie, the word "No.") In the past eight weeks he's progressed to staying out all night or two, (three occasions). And has stolen money from my husband's car the first two times (~5 bucks or so each time). 

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== > Here you would want to use the strategy entitled “When You Want Something From Your Kid” – Session #3.

This is new behavior around our house; odd as it might sound, he has attempted to respect *some* boundaries to this point. I should say, too, that this is an intelligent and socially well-developed kid that most people mistake for a better-educated young person several years older than he really is. Which means his behavior is willful, and more frustrating.

So we're several weeks past Week 4, and my husband and I are doing *fairly* well. Our son's fuse has gotten shorter; we give the simple "no" and single explanation and off he goes. He usually doesn't even try to negotiate now; just screams some predictable vulgarities as he proceeds to do whatever he wanted to do in the first place. The most recent occasion, yesterday, came after a week of few conflicts and general cooperation with no huge infractions. He had asked Thursday if he could "spend the night anywhere" on Friday and was told no by both parents. Friday, he left while we were at work and called late to ask again if he could spend the night at someone's house, and I told him no. When he (inevitably) raged about how it's not fair and he never gets to blah blah blah, I remembered my rules and told him I wasn't going to argue with him, and that I expected him home by 11pm (legal curfew). He swore again and hung up on me.

He did not come home.

== > Give him a warning in addition to telling him that you expect him to be home by 11:00 PM. “If you choose to ignore your curfew, you’ll choose the consequence. The police will be called. A runaway report will be filed. And I will go to Juvenile Probation and file an incorrigibility complaint.”

When I finally tracked him down today, he insisted that he thought I had reversed my decision during his self-pity party. Let me stress, here: This has *never* happened. And I sure didn't leave any room for misunderstanding last night. I followed the rules to the letter and did not engage in ANY discussion or back-and-forth. Also, he refused to tell me where he was and didn't come home for another five hours.

It seems to me that now he's lost the ability to get us riled up to give him an excuse to take off, he's desperate and turning to sheer invention. Does that seem correct?

== > Yes. We expect this to happen because the child’s ability-to-control-parents is waning.

Right now, of course, he's furious and hostile because I "got the police involved", and they actually called one of his friends this time to see if they could find him. I "got the police involved" the other times, too, but this is the first time they've actively tried to track him down. (Slow weekend here in suburbia, apparently.)

== > Good for you. You’re on track here.

I have three problems with this situation.

First is making sure that the way I'm handling this is correct. Although a part of me is touched by the kid's plea of ignorance, the rest of me remembers that forgetting and being confused and doing things poorly is how kids like this one show rebellion. So I've told him he'll be grounded from all privileges for three days, and that the clock starts ticking when he stops being hostile and stays where he's supposed to be. Is that appropriate?

== > Yes …but, be more specific. “Stop being hostile” is too vague. Plus you did not give a time limit.

Say, for example, “When you stop yelling profanities, the clock will start.”

Second is that my husband, when he gets back home tomorrow from his weekend getaway, will ask me ad nauseum to "let it go" and not punish him. Or punish him for only one day. And let him have his computer. He will "reward" the kid during the grounding period with computer time and money and treats from the store and friends at the house "for just a little while" and etc. He will do this, even though he says he is fully on board with the MOOCT program. How should I handle this?

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== > He may be on board in word, but not in action. Having said this, a weaker plan supported by both parents is much better than a stronger plan supported by only one.

Remember your successes. During your marriage, you and your husband have undoubtedly successfully negotiated many situations-with each of you both giving and taking a little until you reached some middle ground. You can also be successful at ending arguments in front of the children if you really want to. It won't be easy, but it will be rewarding.

Agree on a signal to alert both of you that the conversation is, or is about to, get too heated and needs to be halted. Make a commitment to honor and act on the signal. You might walk away and have an agreed-upon cooling off period. Or set a time to revisit your differences in opinion. Or write down what you're feeling and later share it with your husband, who might better understand where you're coming from.

Create your own family "rulebook." Write clear, reasonable, attainable rules (for both parents and kids) about what behavior is acceptable and what isn't. Your family, like a baseball team, will be more successful when you have clear guidelines.

Don’t go overboard in trying to avoid arguments. Having small squabbles in front of the kids-and then resolving them peacefully-can actually be good for them; it shows that it's possible to disagree with someone you love, and that relationships don't end just because people are quarreling with each other.

Third is that I feel abandoned by my husband and am embarrassed by my son's behavior; when the police officer visited our house this evening to confirm that son was safe and sound, he was very rude to the officer. I apologized to the policeman, but can't help feeling guilty that they have to take time out from protecting our city to be subjected to such rude behavior. I know it's part of their job, but it's so unpleasant. I am ashamed of our home situation. Is it normal to feel this way?

== > Yes.

Re: husband. I’m guessing that at some level you feel as though you are “parenting” two children sometimes – your son and your husband. Plus it appears that your husband wants to remain “the good guy” in your son’s eyes.

Re: son. You need not be embarrassed by your son’s behavior. Remind yourself that he is just a kid who has a lot to learn – not a bad person with evil intentions.

Just keep doing what you’re doing, because you are really on track as far as I can tell! Don’t ignore your successes – and I’m sure there are many.

Thank you in advance for your input. I'm sorry this email is so long, and I appreciate your taking the time to respond to us floundering parents with your expertise and experience.

Sincerely,

T.

== > You’re very welcome. It was good to hear from you. Email again in the future if you need some support.

Mark Hutten, M.A.
 

How do I get my over-achieving daughter to slow down?

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