HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

Testimonials

I just wanted to share some wonderful emails from members of Online Parent Support:

“OPS is very thorough and has helped me and my family immensely. My husband and I have a better understanding now! Since completing the program, my son Jonathon has brought his grades up 35%, and he is getting praise from teachers. The Assistant Principal wrote a letter describing improvements in Jonathan’s behavior and gave it to me at the parent-teacher conference.”
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“We thank everyone involved with this program. We are using the techniques we have learned on ALL of our children, not just the one we were having trouble with.”
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“I found OPS very helpful, even though our child was already in placement at a juvenile facility. Wish we had taken this course years ago.”
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“I looked forward to each session. It was my support to get through the week. Plus I looked forward to what new things to learn to help with my child. Thanks for your help. Thanks for being there."
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“Everything was helpful. I wish I had known about this class 3 years ago. I hope we haven’t waited too long to try these parenting techniques.”
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"I am very pleased to know I have somewhere I can come for help -- and I thank you for your help!"
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“OPS was straight forward and concise. It was good to see another approach. I wish we had started using these techniques earlier."
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“This program should be mandatory for some parents!"
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"I remember feeling so helpless, like I couldn't do anything about the chaos and drama in my home. I told myself, 'If you haven't got the power, there is nothing you can do about your situation' ...Seeing myself as helpless insured paralysis and provided a powerful rationale for doing nothing. But now I feel empowered -- because most of the things I'm trying actually work."
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"I pretended that things were getting better on their own, but this pretending took the place of the effort required to bring about real change. That's all over now. I'm taking responsibility for my part of the problem, and my daughter is accepting here part as well."
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"I think my biggest problem was that I didn't change the things that weren't working I kept using the same parenting strategies and hoped for different results. This turned out to be almost as big a problem as not trying to fix problems in the first place. For example, I thought that threatening to do this or that was an effective form of discipline -- but since I had to use it each day to correct the same problem, it should have been obvious that it was not a good strategy. I have better tools in my parenting toolbox now. Thanks for all your help."
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"I realized I was very good at allowing my children to be independent, but I was not very good at setting clear and firm limits for behavior. My children easily discovered rules that could be broken if their protests were long and loud enough ...Often times, I just wanted to avoid the hassle of a conflict. It was easier for me to let the rules slide than to deal with the fuss. Also, it was sometimes hard to refuse my children anything, because I didn't want them to be unhappy. I thought "unhappy children" equals "bad parents." And I guess at some level I was afraid my children would become angry and hate me if I set boundaries. Now I know that children want to know that their parents are in charge; they need structure and limits. This concept alone is helping me immensely."
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"Just a short note to say thanks. We are now well into your assignments and things are going well. As you predicted, things got a lot worse to begin with, but the three kids and both parents are starting to settle well. We are getting into a routine, and now “no” is beginning to mean “no,” consequences to actions are beginning to be recognized, and your method of getting them to do something is very effective. Many thanks. I hope it's still o.k. to write with any questions as they come along, as I feel we are only part way through. And as they get older, new things are going to appear. Thanks again."
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"Thanks for the accommodations. You are a big help. I started some of the pointers that we've talked about, and I see some good effects. It's very hard to switch emotions, but I'm trying my best. I think I will be sending you a lot of thanks for this book and for the warm accommodation on the first phone consultation. I know I got the right help now. I wish God will give you more time to accommodate parents like me."
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"Today, I spoke to my son's former counselor (whom I was asking for a referral for another counseling, which I did before I found your ebook). I told her, “I think I don't need it for now,” because I found your site. I gave her your site and told her to spread the word about your ebook, since her job deals with parents and kids of
similar problems."
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"In a week's time, I've seen a great change. Now my 2nd son (AJ) asks permission before he goes out of the house and calls me when he can't come home on the agreed time. I can also see some smiles on his face little by little. Thanks again for all the help!"
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"In reading your book, I realized that there are others out there that have exactly the same problems as I do, and who are making exactly the same mistakes as I was -- and that there are people like yourself that advocate what I believed in. This has helped me gain the strength I needed to tackle the onslaught. And let me tell you that this is exactly what it has been the last 3 weeks."
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"I put the expectations and responsibilities with the earning or loss of privileges on paper, and when I handed it to my son and wanted to discuss it with him – well, almighty hell broke loose! And this continued for a whole week –constant swearing and telling me he will not adhere to it and I will not control him."
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"Although battered and bruised by the emotional experience, I am proud of myself -- I did it! I put my poker face on and stuck to my guns. A week later, although he is still not earning any pocket money (as he refuses to do what I have put on the list), he did come to me and ask what he needed to do to get his computer back. We are now at the un-grounding point (and the 'get the computer back' point) as he has managed to go a whole week without loosing his temper and swearing. He still does have the attitude that he will not do what’s on the list, but I am watching him carefully -- and have been able to keep the discipline in place for the relevant things I put on the list."
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"I am an Officer in the Canadian Forces Reserve (CIC) and my Branch of the CF deals with youth training (ages 12 to 19). I currently command my own unit. I am always dealing with youth who are either out-of-control, or have a tendency to get out-of-control. I also work with a Special Needs camp for teens with behavioral problems, and melt-downs are not uncommon. I have found your e-book and power point presentations an excellent source of information at opening up the line of communication with these kids."
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"My own children are 4 and 6. They are not out-of-control teens, but I feel that the information you have given me will allow me to set the ground rules to allow for a great "teen experience". I am fully aware of "inclusion," and I empower my kids now to behave well for me by allowing them to set the limits in a task, trip, or outing, so they feel like it's there work paying off. I know at age 6 the concept may be lost, but I feel what they learn from it will allow me to understand how to keep those lines of communication open down the road."
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"I would like to thank you for such great material. I hope I can change the lives of many more teens, as I have done much so far. However, it is only those who really want to change their lives that I have been able to help. They must make that decision as they under go their own journey."
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"I will tell you that I've done the first two steps and I'm still reading, but I wanted to have a copy handy electronically to build a cheat sheet and mold my mantras."
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"Thanks so much for writing this, I was a little hesitant at first when I was browsing your site...but in the end, I was more like...it can't hurt and if it teaches me one thing...then for that I will be a better parent."
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"Your statement you make in the first step "I have an obligation to you, my child, as a parent to..." That statement alone made me a better parent. I've said it to my son and I've said to others in my life who would like to be a bigger priority in my life. This statement has made things even more clear to me...as a single parent and for that I'll always be grateful."
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"Thanks again. Sign me "an obligated parent who gladly accepts the honor of releasing into this world (eventually) an upstanding, independent, responsible, young, adult male."
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"I have worked for the school for over twenty years in various positions including therapist, Director of Residential Life, Dean of Counseling, Dean of Students. Recently we have established the position of Parent Liaison to assist parents with the challenges of having their son in a boarding school and I have moved into this role. In addition to being a mentor for the parents, I will also be conducting parenting workshops through the year.

I am also working on a school based web site that will offer assistance to our parents, and am pleased to be offering a link to your web site and book.

Your book and web site is an excellent source of guidance and support for all parents, not just those of troubled teens."

Best regards,

Jim Graves, MC
Parent Liaison
St. Paul's Preparatory Academy
Educating Young Men Since 1961
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"I downloaded your ebook a while ago, and it is great. I have spoken to you for help along the way. My children's names are E_____ (who has ASD), M_____ (she's 11), and J_____ (he's 13 with some ASD difficulties)."
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"I am a Qualified Primary schoolteacher and have been specialising in helping parents and students in the area of 'challenging behaviour'. Recently I changed my job and am now working with a lot of schools around creating safer emotional and physical environments.

This means working with teachers, students, parents and the communities. I was wondering if you have anything in New Zealand as far as training is concerned, as a lot of the difficulties that the parents are coming across would be massively helped with your teachings.

They are surrounded by professionals who are still talking about time-out consequences and behaviour reinforcments. Many of these parents have had years of this, and as you say have 'dipped in and out' often depending on how much they could cope with at the time. Many of them are at the stage of having pre teens with all the new emotional stresses and behaviours.

Many of these parents could not afford to buy your ebook because of the exchange rate -- and they get me for free if it is through the school. Although I have done some private trainings around explosive behaviours, anxiety, stress and visual learning.

I am a qualified N.L.P. trainer and practitioner and was wondering if there was any way we could get this information over to NZ. Anyway, if you could think of any thing that might help please let me know. I would be happy to do some training if that was possible. Many thanks for your time."
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Join Online Parent Support here >>> www.myoutofcontrolteen.com

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