Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

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My ODD Child

Hi N.,

Please look for these arrows below: ====>

On Jan 9, 2008 2:28 PM, N. wrote:

Good afternoon,

I purchased your e-book last night, and as I am reading it, it seems to be more appropriate for teens. (I just started looking thru).

===> There are some age-specific parenting strategies, but as long as your child is living in your home, 98% of the techniques will apply regardless of age.

2 yrs ago our dream of becoming parents became true through adoption when we were match up with 3 adorable siblings. Our daughter is 5yrs and her twin brothers are 4. We are blessed, they are adorable children, but we are having behavioral problems with our daughter. She seems to be able to control herself when we are at home or when ever I'm around (I 'm very firm with them and one way or another she seem to listen to me) but the minute I leave her side she becomes in a little devil. At school she is driving everyone crazy. And the worst is that the twins are starting to pick up some of her bad behavior.

She lies, and lies and even when we confront her with the true, she will not give in admitting the truth, answers back, don't follow orders, disrupt the class and is very "bossy". I don't know what to do any more because she doesn't mind or care for time outs, or taking privileges out from her; playing time, movie time, tv time or toys away.

===> She may not care when things are taken away, but she enjoys having her things returned. Follow the method in the eBook for this.

We are taking her to therapy once a week and here she was diagnosed with ODD but that doesn't seem to be helping at all.

===> Therapy will be a waste of your time and money. It is just another "traditional" parenting strategy that has little or no effect with ODD kids. Stick with the strategies in the eBook.

We have been following 1-2-3- Magic, but it doesn't work with her behavior. I find my self getting very angry, disappointed and hopeless.

====> Be sure to read (and listen to the audio files) in the Anger Management Chapter (online version).

I want to enjoy time with her and not feel that she is manipulating us. Unfortunately we don't have any past medical or family history of our children. Please help me out !!!!! And guide me to what direction I should follow?

====> Normal, healthy mothers - even the very young ones - rarely give up their children for adoption. Over 90% of adopted children come from very young mothers who, too often, also have a drug/alcohol addiction of some kind. In addition, many of these mothers who gave their child up for adoption have significant mental health issues ( e.g., ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, etc.). So it's a fairly safe assumption that your adopted daughter will also have some mental health issues - as well as have a genetic predisposition to drug addiction.

It will be terribly important for your daughter's teacher to educate herself about how to relate (and influence) a child with ODD. If she doesn't take the time to adopt some different teacher-student interactions with your daughter, the problems will continue.


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