HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

Cell Phone Problems

Hi Mark,

K's behaviour towards me has significantly improved since he lost his phone twice in one week (for 48 hrs each time).

However, last night he was rude. When I told him to hand over his phone, he refused and said I'd have to physically wrestle him to get it (that would end badly, I knew).

Instead of getting physical, I said until he gives me his phone for 48hrs, I would not be driving him anywhere. He is holding out still, but it has only been one day (he threatened to get his father to drive him, but interesting didn't pursue it, and instead missed cricket training).

My question is: should I continue with this position, or should I snatch it from him when I have the chance, and hide it? (He would probably rampage, but if that's what has to happen, I can live with it).

I would be grateful for your perspective.

V.

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Hi V.,

First of all, “he was rude” is very vague. What did he actually say or do?

Second, what is he doing to “earn” cell phone privileges?

Whenever a child introduces a new problem on top of an existing one, parents should put the new problem in the “deal-with-it-later” file (*please see Q & A - On Discipline in the chapter of the eBook entitled “The Art of Saying No” – Session #2 – online version).

Re: …he refused and said I'd have to physically wrestle him to get it…

In this case, he is grounded, but the clock does not start until he hands you the cell (*please see Instructional Videos #16 and #17).

Mark

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