First of all, sincere thank you for your quick reply.
It has been just more than a week since I last wrote to you, but during that time my life changed so much.
I realised that my 'big fish' is actually a shark (grown up by myself). But I have not given up and I have been consistent with all that I need to do.
I quit my job (at least for now) but I continue with the programme. My father came to stay with me for a couple of weeks as my husband is working in another town.
What actually happened is something that I did not have even in my nightmares. And it was my mistake that I did not think about this possibility and did not prepare myself for that. My son's resistance to the new parenting style (introduced very carefully) got to his old self enough and well known weapon-physical violence. I was punched several times one day as I had to go 'back to normal' and for the first time in my life I called the police. My son was given final warning and his violent reaction is stopped now. Meanwhile, he had never witnessed nor suffered violence in our family.
There is some kind of resentment at present which is broken from time to time by brief 'sunny spells'. For the first time in my son's life he did not get what he wanted at home and for the first time in my life I was confident enough that I am doing the right thing for my child. And this is because I have now complete understanding of what have caused his behavior and for example, I do not wonder anymore why he is disrespectful most of the time.
Things are changing with ups and downs, joy and pain, but anyway they are changing and this is the most important.
I continue my job at home -- I speak, I explain and I am calm. If I had this knowledge 5 years ago, we would not get to the point where we are now and would experience much less difficulties, but there you are...
Therefore, I would say that I even more appreciate that I found in OPS and thank you again!
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