ONLINE PARENTING COACH

"Dear Mark: My daughter is asking to extend her curfew. It seems she can fight whatever. Would you please help me and let me have a strategy to have the curfew settle down. Thanks & Best Regards! F." Click here for my response...

What To Do When an Adult Child Moves Back Home (or has never left)… Have your adult kids returned to the nest? Are you ready to help them get back on their feet? Are you prepared to lay down rules and protect your own financial stability? Whether they live under your roof or not, your adult kids are just that: adults. They have the right to be treated as such, just as you have the right to expect them to act as such. Because they are adults, the rules you can appropriately have over their life and their conduct is significantly different from those you had while they were underage. House Rules Versus Running-Their- Life Rules: This is where it gets tricky. Moms & dads love their kids. They want the best for them. When they see their kids clearly making mistakes and bad choices, they immediately want to intervene. The key is to remember that they are adults now and they have the right to make the choices they make as well as face the consequences, good or bad, of t...

My daughter has ODD and been suspended 9 times this year. Her school doesn't seem to be giving her any support, just suspending her. She is getting really upset as she thinks everyone is giving up on her. What can the school do to help? ````````````````````````````` Teaching Oppositional Defiant (ODD) Students— If you are a teacher who finds that "nothing works" to manage some students, this article may help. It's way past time for you to learn about ODD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder. In college, you probably got very little training on basic mental health, but if you've been teaching for more than five minutes, you know that little bit of training wasn't enough. Here's just a quick peek at what they should have taught you in college about basic juvenile mental health. WHAT DOES "OPPOSITIONAL-DEFIANT" MEAN? "Oppositional-Defiant" is a mental health diagnosis that describes kids that have consciences but someti...

We see the main problem is he has turned on us... he is angry and is baiting us... he just came in from soccer and hit me with a tirade of swearing. He was angry because he wanted takeaway food and he was told that there was food at home. He has now taken off – it is 11pm. How do we make him realise that he needs to conform to our rules. He has no friends and we are the only people who support him. The punching of the walls and threatening to tell people that his father rapes him etc are just his way of punishing us. Will keeping the screws on him keep making the situation worse or will it eventually break him? Click here for my response...

Mark- My question is: Why are children so violent these days. We had a murder here (15-year-old killed a 17-year-old after school)... and now this threat in our small town school ! Why are so many children becoming violent …why are so many committing murder? J. ```````````````````````````````````` Hi J., The reasons for the rise in kids committing murder are multi-faceted. You can't blame it on the school, and you can't blame it on the family, the breakdown of religion or the availability of guns. It is not that simple. It is usually a combination of things. Behavior is multi-determined. There are a lot of different reasons for behavior. However, some aspects of gang-related violence suggest that some kids are very psychopathic. They are just criminally-minded kids. The way some kids solve conflict is with weapons. Some kids are young predators. Also, kids tend to murder in groups. Remember, teenagers tend to do everything together. For example, if on...

My son is a brilliantly gifted 15 year old that is a total underachiever in school. He is currently expelled for having a knife at school and is attending a special program for such students. He is of course underachieving and not doing his work at this program. The relationship with him and his current teacher has gone downhill as she is trying to micro manage him. For example, today she got upset because he was using the computer to print out a time sheet for the community service that he was going to after school. I have tried to explain to him that he needs to listen to her as she holds the key to his future, at the moment (she decides if he passes or not). I found out today that she told my son maybe he belongs in a juvenile facility. Being a child and youth worker who has worked in such facilities, I can say with all confidence that my son does not belong in jail. He also told me that she has previously told him that he has ODD. I do not know her credentials and doubt that ...

Dear Mark, I joined your programme yesterday in the UK. I have got to say it makes the best sense of anything that I have ever come across. Although I only had a few hours at it yesterday, I have done the topics very thoroughly (only the first 4 of week 1) and I had the best evening yesterday with my 13 year old daughter. I felt much more calm and confident because I believe that this is going to work if applied consistently. We went for a lovely walk and talked about her friends. The previous night, she was leaving home …going to live in care and her bag was packed! So, onwards and upwards. We'll see. But I think that the fact that I am calmer has made a difference to her. She is unnerved. Poker face tonight. You have given me hope and inspiration not to give up on my daughter. Last week I wondered if I even liked her; now I know that I do love her. Thank you. I will keep in touch, V. Online Parent Support

Mark- Just like to report that after a difficult week we have finally given back our son's items. He is back off to school after his three day suspension. He seems a lot more centered and co-operative. Thank you for all your efforts in talking out of control parents through the program. Brilliant!!! Everyone we meet is complaining about teenagers …we pass on your website to them! Thanks so much for all your help Mark. You have changed our world for the better! Online Parent Support

Dear Mark, I have been trying to get him to earn some money but not successfully as you know. When he was grounded the other weekend I did however manage to get him to do an hours work cleaning down our elderly neighbours walls in preparation for them to be decorated. He has the opportunity to do this again as there are more walls to be cleaned. I even said our walls need to be cleaned too (all other jobs offered to him were turned down). This weekend he moaned that he doesn't have enough money so I said he could do some work cleaning the walls to earn the money (£5 per hour). His answer to that was "that's long" I can earn more money selling drugs! Yesterday I found £35 (about 50 US) which I know he has not earned or saved and am really worried. I asked him where he got the money from but at the moment he refuses to say - in fact he is just angry that I look in his pockets (I already knew how much money he had/didn't have and was surprised when he r...

Hi J., I've responded throughout your email below: Hi Mark Firstly congratulations on a brilliant program. We are totally exhausted and confused with what to do with our child. We have been working on the program for a few months and feel that we need some fine tuning! Our16 year old son is ADHD and ASD. He has suffered tremendous bullying and has had a number of breakdowns. Please refer to the page on bullying: http://www.myoutofcontrolteen. com/mr-bully.html He also suffers from high level of anxiety... Successful short-term therapy can help to alleviate your child’s fears and help your child return to healthy functioning. If you are unsure whether your child’s fear is normal, or whether it is interfering in his life, it may be a good idea to consult with a psychologist to determine whether your child could benefit from treatment. Cognitive-behavioral treatment is focused on teaching children and parents specific skills for ch...