Hi Mark, Another question from Australia (I have SO many questions)!
M__ and I are in the process of starting up some chores and allowing A__
to earn some money from the non-mandatory ones. We thought we'd have a
rule where the mandatory ones had to be done first and then there would
be the capacity to earn money from other chores. If the mandatory ones
are not done, then there is no pocket money for the week. Is this OK?
Can we put a caveat on her spending like no lollies, fizzy drinks or
junk food-her behavior is so much worse if she has these things-she can
buy books, toys clothes or save some for example?
Also, what
happens if we have bad behavior during the week-can we tie it all in
together-bad behavior, no money or is that a separate issue of
consequences? A__ was so awful the other night-she had the most amazing
temper tantrum and was kicking me and M__ had to restrain her-she is
getting too big for me-at the age of 8 she is up to my chin (I'm 5'7")
and it was not easy to just walk away as she was grabbing hold of me (I
have a torn rotator cuff muscle in my right shoulder courtesy of her
wrenching my arm in a fit of rage) and I've endured an MRI and 5 months
of physio to get it better... Thanks Mark.
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Hi L.,
Re: If the mandatory ones are not done, then there is no pocket money for the week. Is this OK?
Absolutely.
Re: Can we put a caveat on her spending like no lollies, fizzy drinks or junk food-her behavior is so much worse if she has these things-she can buy books, toys clothes or save some for example?
Yes but …here’s one caveat to your caveat: Allow her to have one “treat” that falls into the junk food category per week.
Re: …what happens if we have bad behavior during the week-can we tie it all in together-bad behavior, no money or is that a separate issue of consequences?
Make the consequence fit the “crime” (i.e., the misbehavior) as much as possible. Not every poor choice your daughter makes will be linked to money.
Re: Domestic battery. This should involve the authorities if it happens again. You don’t want to send her the message that physical violence goes un-punished.
Mark
==> Join Online Parent Support
Re: If the mandatory ones are not done, then there is no pocket money for the week. Is this OK?
Absolutely.
Re: Can we put a caveat on her spending like no lollies, fizzy drinks or junk food-her behavior is so much worse if she has these things-she can buy books, toys clothes or save some for example?
Yes but …here’s one caveat to your caveat: Allow her to have one “treat” that falls into the junk food category per week.
Re: …what happens if we have bad behavior during the week-can we tie it all in together-bad behavior, no money or is that a separate issue of consequences?
Make the consequence fit the “crime” (i.e., the misbehavior) as much as possible. Not every poor choice your daughter makes will be linked to money.
Re: Domestic battery. This should involve the authorities if it happens again. You don’t want to send her the message that physical violence goes un-punished.
Mark
==> Join Online Parent Support
