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Adolescents are notorious for staying up late and being hard to awaken in the morning. If your teenage son or daughter is no exception, it's not necessarily because he or she is pushing the limits or fighting the rules. This behavior pattern actually has a physical cause and can be modified to improve your adolescent's sleep schedule. Most adolescents need about 9 hours of sleep a night to maintain optimal daytime alertness. But few adolescents actually get that much sleep regularly thanks to factors like early-morning classes, extracurricular activities, homework, part-time jobs, social demands, and use of computers and other electronic gadgets. More than 90% of adolescents in a recent study published in the Journal of School Health reported sleeping less than the recommended nine hours a night. In the same study, 10% of adolescents reported sleeping less than six hours a night. Sleep-deprived teenagers are more likely than their well-rested peers to report the follow...

Are you concerned about your teenager and all the texting he or she does? For many adolescents, text messaging has become a primary way to communicate with peers. As one mother stated, "It seems that my son is texting people all day and all night long. It's an addiction if there ever was one." A lack of maturity can get your adolescent into big trouble when texting, though. Help him or her to understand and avoid the risks associated with texting by using the following tips: Cyber-bullying— Cyber-bullying refers to sending harassing texts, emails or instant messages, as well as posting intimidating or threatening content on websites or blogs.  Of course, cyber-bullying can make young people feel unsafe and might lead to school absences or other issues. It has even be a contributing factor to suicide in some cases. Encourage your adolescent to talk to you or another trusted grown-up if he or she receives harassing text messages. You might also suggest rejecting te...

Adolescent smoking is a BIG issue, because adolescents who smoke are likely to turn into grown-ups who smoke. If you find your adolescent smoking, take it seriously. Stopping adolescent smoking in its tracks is the best way to promote a lifetime of good health. Adolescent smoking might begin innocently, but it can become a long-term problem. Help your teenage son or daughter avoid taking that first puff, or to stop smoking if he or she has already started the habit. Follow these parenting tips to help stop - or prevent - adolescent smoking: 1. Adolescent smoking can be a form of rebellion or a way to fit in with a particular group of peers. Some adolescents begin smoking to control their weight. Others smoke to feel cool or independent. Ask your adolescent how she feels about smoking and if any of your adolescent's friends smoke. Applaud your adolescent's good choices, and talk about the consequences of bad choices. 2. Adolescent smoking is more common among adolesc...

"Any thoughts on how to get a 17 year old to stop using drugs? He's headed for prison if he doesn't change his ways soon! He's already on probation through juvenile court." Adolescents who experiment with alcohol and drugs put their health and safety at risk. Parents can help prevent adolescent alcohol/drug abuse by talking to their sons and daughters about the consequences of using harmful substances and the importance of making healthy choices. Various factors can contribute to adolescent alcohol/drug abuse, from insecurity to a desire for social acceptance. Adolescents often feel indestructible and might not consider the consequences of their actions, leading them to take dangerous risks like abusing alcohol and legal/illegal drugs. Common risk factors for adolescent alcohol/drug abuse include: academic failure alcohol and drug availability belief that alcohol/drug abuse is OK  early aggressive or impulsive behavior  family history of substance a...

Pregnancy in adolescence is often a crisis for a young lady and her family, as well as the child's dad and his family. Common reactions include anger, guilt and denial. Your adolescent might also experience anxiety, fear, shock and depression. Talk to your teenager about what she's feeling and the choices ahead. She needs your love, guidance and support now more than ever. A pregnant adolescent (along with her mom and dad, the father of the child and his mom and dad) has a variety of options to consider: • Terminate the pregnancy. Some pregnant adolescents choose to end their pregnancies. If your teenager is considering abortion, discuss the risks and the emotional consequences. Keep in mind that some states require parental notification for a legal abortion. • Give the child up for adoption. Some pregnant adolescents choose to give their child up for adoption. If your teenager is considering adoption, help her explore the different types of adoption available. Also d...

Helping a teenager become a caring, independent and responsible grown-up is no small task. The teenage years can be a confusing “time of change” for adolescents and moms and dads alike. But while these years can be tough, there's plenty you can do to nurture your adolescent and encourage responsible behavior. Use the following parenting skills to deal with the challenges of raising an adolescent: 1. As you allow your adolescent some degree of self-expression, remember that you can still maintain high expectations for your adolescent and the kind of person he or she will become. 2. As your adolescent demonstrates more responsibility, grant him or her more freedom. If your adolescent shows poor judgment, impose more restrictions. 3. Avoid disciplining your adolescent when you're angry. 4. Avoid reprimanding your adolescent in front of his or her friends. 5. Avoid setting rules your adolescent can't possibly follow. A chronically messy adolescent may not be...

Having problems getting through to your defiant adolescent about needed behavior changes? A behavioral agreement may be the way to go. Behavioral agreements are contracts between parent and youngster intended to produce desired outcomes. It may be higher grades, doing more chores, developing a better attitude, or making new friends. Regardless, the process to create a behavioral agreement is the same. All moms and dads have a wish list for their kids. College preparation may be on the list. Doing more work around the house, or at least keep their bedroom clean makes most lists. Improved attitudes and more respect for moms and dads and other adult authority figures can be big. Pick the changes and plan an agreement that will lead to what you want. Points to consider before drafting a behavioral agreement: 1. You are unlikely to turn an extremely poor student into the class academic leader with one quick agreement. Pick your battles and put them in writing. Avoid making the ag...

As moms and dads, we want to know that we’re in control. But our children tend to beg, plead, and whine about the options we make for them. So, give your children options (without really letting them choose). This is a great way to let children have an option without giving up all the parental control. But you don’t have to make it an option between something they want and something you want for them, like candy or an orange. Choose the orange for them, but they get to choose how they’re going to eat it… in slices or with cottage cheese. Empowering your children with options gives them more independence. It teaches them the relationship between their decisions and outcomes. And with more practice, their decision making skills will grow into a valuable lifelong lesson. Giving children options encourages cooperation, which is what we are trying to get in the first place. Giving children options helps prevent power struggles. The ability to choose is a natural human need. Quench ...

Parenting an adolescent can be tough, especially when he or she starts bringing new friends home. With all the different friends your youngster is bound to make, it’s very likely you’re going to dislike at least one of them. Here’s what to do to keep this issue from becoming a big problem: 1. As long as your youngster isn’t getting into trouble with his friend, and your dislike is not based on anything concrete, let your youngster make his own choices about which friends he is going to hang-out with. Keep a close eye, but believe in your kid to make good decisions. 2. Ask yourself if what you don’t like about the friend really matters. Is it the way he dresses? Is it a lack of good manners? Is your youngster getting into trouble with this friend? Once you identify this, you will have a better idea of how to proceed. 3. Be a fly on the wall when the friend is over.  One of the best ways to listen to conversations your teen and her friends are having is to make snacks and ...

Backtalk can be one of the most frustrating behaviors for moms and dads. It's hard to keep cool and clear-headed when teens are being disrespectful. The angrier we become, the more backtalk our teens dish out. Don't despair. Taming backtalk takes practice, but if you stay calm and consistent, you can get a hold of this troublesome behavior.  You can control this vicious cycle if you follow some of the tips below: 1. Avoid the word "if" (as in "If you do that again, I'm going to..."). It makes you sound weak instead of decisive, and your teenager will pick up on that. Moms and dads tend to over-talk. Taking action is much more effective. 2. Back off. If your adolescent is irate, any attempts to restrict or discipline her will only be counterproductive. Give her some time to cool off. If the situation calls for a consequence, it can be dealt later, but too often moms and dads make threats that are too harsh in the heat of the moment. 3. Back...

Guilt is a reality for those of us who are raising defiant teens. Balancing the tasks of raising kids, caring for our home, nurturing our relationship with our spouse, and earning money to pay the bills is just plain hard work. To make matters even more difficult, our child is now a teenager who may be acting out (e.g., being disrespectful, verbally abusive, failing academically, violating curfew, etc.). Something has to give! There’s just no way to do it all perfectly all the time – and so we don’t. We don’t fall short out of choice though, so we feel guilty. We are disappointed that our teenage son or daughter didn’t turn out the way we thought he or she would? We wonder how this child is going to function as an adult out in the “real world.” We feel like we should have been a better parent? And we have come to terms with the fact that our child is not the person we once knew. So what is a parent to do in light of all these circumstances? Feeling guilty is a habit that wil...

Will your children be spending a good portion of the holidays with your ex-spouse? If so, you may find yourself dealing with “Disneyland parent” syndrome… What is “Disneyland parent” syndrome? One possible reaction of an ex-spouse with part-time custody is to spoil the kids, ignore family rules, and become the “fun” mother or father in an effort to alleviate guilt, win the kids over, or make the ex-spouse look bad.     After divorce, it is common for one of the parents to feel guilty and think that her/she has to buy the youngster’s love and affection. In many cases, it is the nonresident parent who feels this burden so that his/her youngster will look forward to their time together. Some Disneyland parents may only see their children on holidays, but when they do, they make up for lost time and may take their children on extravagant trips, ignore bedtimes, eat cupcakes for breakfast, or skip from one adventure to the next. When they are away from their kids, the...