I am not able to reach him...

Dear Mark,

I stumbled across your web page last night after yet another devastating episode of frustration. J___ is my second child and has so very much to offer. He is very fun loving, but has struggled with self control and discipline for many years. He is twelve years old and I am so very afraid that we are now beginning to damage him. I see that he thinks we are all against him, he believes that he is flawed and struggles with good decision making. We have three other children full time and two that are here every second weekend. It has gotten to the point where we have become unable to enjoy family outings because of his behaviour.

I have studied children’s development for many years and have many certificates and degrees in Early Childhood Education and Psychology. I am not able to reach him and I am so afraid for the dynamics of our family and his stability.

I ordered your ebook and am anticipating positive results. I am so very hopeful that your program will effect change in our lives.

Thanks!

Lori

My Out-of-Control Child

I am very angry that he did not stay in his room...

"Mark - My 12 year old son was rude and disrespectful and lied to me today so i grounded him for the evening, he continued to yell and shout so i sent him to his room - and he just walked out the house. At this point I am hoping he will come back at a sensible time and i am very angry that he did not stay in his room and also scared that if grounding him doesn't work anymore i have no other method of discipline left that has ever worked or that he cares about."

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In the future—

Re: yelling and shouting. Tell him he’s grounded for 24 hours with no privileges (i.e., no computer, phone, TV, video games, etc.) – and the 24-hour discipline does not start until he stops yelling and shouting. Then let him decide when to start the clock. As soon as he stops yelling, look at the clock, write down the time, and tell him he will be ungrounded in exactly 24 hours from that time. If he starts yelling again, the clock starts over.

Re: walking out on a discipline. Tell him that, in the future, if he walks out on a one-day discipline, it automatically becomes a 3-day discipline, which doesn’t start until he returns home. Also, while he is away, you will be confiscating quite a few of his cherished possessions -- and you will call the police and file a run away charge. The next time he walks out on a one-day discipline, follow through with what you told him you would do.

All bite – no bark. This is serious business. If you, the parent, cannot muster up the tough love described above, then you’re not working the program as intended – and you will not be successful in helping your child make better choices.

For more info on this subject, please refer to the section of the eBook entitled “When You Want Something From Your Kid” [Anger Management Chapter – Online Version].

Mark

 

==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents