Getting her up for school and out the door...

Mark, I first want to thank you for such a wonderful online tool for parents who are at their wits end. I listened to and read the video suggesting you put on your best poker face. This is easier said than done but working on it. I do provide a lot of intensity for my 8 year old. The past few weeks the recurrent argument is getting her up for school and out the door. I get angry because I am late for work. Obviously she needs to be held accountable for her dilly dallying, etc. However you can't leave an 8 year old by herself. So while I try to remain calm and have her do A, B, and C to get out the door what are some consequences that are realistic to hold her too. I am taking this program slowly but need some direction NOW to get out the door in the morning. This is ridiculous. And not a good way to start the day. Please help as I work this program. Many thanks, K.

He may have a Chemical Imbalance...

Mark,

Our child got put in jail last night. He is 18. He had been drinking and did a Xanax and went out of control. My x-husband had to call the police for his safety and our child’s. We had to make the decision if they would take him and we did the " tough love" thing and told them to take him. I know you would think that was the right thing to do. We will pick him up this afternoon.

Now...we think he needs a treatment program. He may have a Chemical Imbalance as my mom and sister have one. We also must get him away from the people he is hanging around with. Do you have any suggestions of a place near Marietta, GA. or Atlanta or ANY OTHER IDEAS ???

Thank you so much. We need you.

P.

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Hi P.,

I’m glad you called the police and had him arrested.

He’s 18?

Is he still living at home?

Is he going to college?

Does he have a job?

If not, uh oh!

He needs a drug and alcohol evaluation, but if he’s not in any legal trouble, no one can force him to get the evaluation. And he’s not likely to go on his own accord.

I’m also a bit concerned that you are taking responsibility for the peers your 18-year-old son “hangs around.” He’s an adult now. If he picks friends who get him into trouble, that’s his problem – not yours. And the more you take responsibility for his choice of friends, the less responsibility he will take.

I think you have much bigger fish to fry than his possible “chemical imbalance” – namely, preparing him for adulthood (now that he is already an adult).

Mark

My Out-of-Control Teen