ONLINE PARENTING COACH

"My son feels offended because I went to the school and got a drug test to be performed on him. What I can do to ease the hate he now feels toward me? How can I make him talk to me again without giving him the edge?" I don't think your son hates you. He probably doesn't like you, though. Sit down with your son and have the following conversation: Tell him that you love him so much that you are not willing to stand by and watch him make poor choices and engage in self-destructive behaviors that will hurt him -- and his family. This is why you are using "tough love." You're not out to make his life miserable, you are trying to help him grow. If you didn't love or care for him, you wouldn't bother with him. Resist your impulse to strive and struggle for your son's acceptance. Don't strain to get him to "like" you as you begin to set some limits with his behavior. Instead, enjoy the process of the good parenting yo...

Mark, Thanks for your concern. Well I have started reading the ebook, but have not yet completed. I thought I should first complete reading before implementing. I think its an excellent book and am looking forward to seriously using the advise given there. I just wanted a little clarity with respect to my case. Please bear with me. I have only one adopted child (adopted from the day she was born) who just turned thirteen. Since childhood we have found her to be a very difficult child. Though we have not got her diagnosed clinically as an ODD child, from what I have read in the past and also from your book she conforms to at least 90% of the criteria given for ODD. Since she had always been very hyper, impulsive, lacked concentration, easily distracted and used abusive language, I had her locally (in Pakistan) assessed when she was 8 and was told she is not ADHD just a high spirited child and needed a behavioural therapy program. In order to confirm this I had taken her to a ps...

Hi, some good news. The other night I had a really good chat with my son and went over the dependency cycle with him -- and also got him to tick which of the statements of behaviour was his, and which was the parents. He was very honest and laughed when we came to the parent’s bit on saying “no” to kids. When I asked him why he was laughing, he said, “Because it sounded just like his dad.” I have spoken to his dad and told him this and printed off some information for him including the dependency cycle. I have had a quick look at it with him, and he has said he will read it, but he wasn't sure if he could totally follow your program as he does find it so hard saying no. But he has said we can go over it together and adapt to what he thinks he can manage and take it from there -- small steps at a time. So I am making some progress. Kind regards, A. J. _______________ More information on the Dependency Cycle: www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com