How do you get the balance?

How do you get the balance? Great kid – Used to be outstanding in school – has the intelligence to do it – but is totally unmotivated. Can’t get him to do anything – Husband tells me it’s my fault. He has currently lied to be – told me he had movie club after school till 4:30 – got letter from school today – has detention at school till 4:30. I believed him – even offered to bake when he told me – how dumb could I be?

How to I change his attitude?

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You’ve raised 3 issues here:

1. Poor academic performance – Refer to the recommendations here: “Emails From Exasperated Parents” (Online Version of the eBook)
2. Lying – Refer to the section “When Your Kid Lies” (Online Version)
3. School behavior problems – Use the strategy “When You Want Something From Your Kid” (Online Version)

Mark

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Take EVERYTHING Away?!

 

"Mark, When you say take everything away (during the 3 day discipline) do you really mean EVERYTHING? Is this always necessary? ~ S.F."


Hi S.,

It's not necessary to take everything away in most cases. Usually the kid only has a few things that she/he enjoys (e.g., phone privileges, iPod, computer). Thus, in most cases the parent can just confiscate the really important stuff.

However, there have been times when parents have literally taken away everything. Most recently I had a mother who took it all away (but only for 3 days, as directed). Her son only had the clothes on his back and a mattress on his floor (she even took his bedroom door off the hinges and removed all the 'junk food' from the house).

Now this may sound drastic -- and it does take some work, but when parents follow the program (and this particular mother is), they achieve outstanding results.

When taking everything away, you can put stuff in a locked closet, the trunk of your car, a neighbors house, etc. But again, it's not usually necessary to go this far.

Tuff luv mom!

Mark

==> Help for parents of defiant teens...

How Do You Eat An Elephant?

Mark, What do I do when I've issued the 3-day-discipline (e.g., for violating curfew), but then my son creates a new problem before completing the discipline (e.g., calls me a "bitch", then breaks a plate by throwing it in the sink too hard)? Do I start the 3 days over even though the "broken plate episode" is unrelated to the curfew violation, or does this new problem get a different consequence?

Click here for the answer...