Body Piercing and Peer Pressure

Hi Mark, the last time I spoke with you was on the 20th of November last year (titled "Desperate"). At that stage my son had left home and I was frustrated. Your words were of great comfort to me and I must admit at my lowest points, I referred back to that email for strength. Thank you for that.

During my sons three and a half months of living away from home, I have practiced your techniques whenever he was around. My son has now decided to come back home and live under our rules. I am excited about this and a little apprehensive. What I would like to know is how to slowly and inconspicuously get him away from the bad crowd he is now involved with. I do not want to scare him off as soon as he gets home and I know that I have to tread very lightly. The other area of concern is the body piercing which neither I nor my husband can stand. Should I just continue the "POKER FACE" and let him find his way or should I set the rules immediately?

To date, your course has been the only sensible approach to my children and I value your words immensely. Thank you once again! With great appreciation. Sincerely, S.

Click here for my response...

Dealing With Running Away

Hi Mark, My 16-year old granddaughter (who lives with her father) runs away from home fairly regularly ...usually 3-4 days at a time. And we never know where she stays during these stints. What can her father do to prevent this? What should he do if she does take off again? It's starting to become a real problem. And I worry about her safety. Thanks, A.

Click here for my answer...

What do I do with this?

Hello,

Well I started Phase 1 and set the boundaries of curfew and homework requirements. All was going fine, to my surprise. Now the weekend, and Nicole wanted a friend to stay over. I thought well she has been home on time all week and has cleaned her room and done her homework, so alright. Saturday, she decides to go out with her boyfriend. She calls me at 11:50 pm to see if she can stay the night at his house. I said absolutely not! She is to come home by curfew. Well she still is not home and it is now 9:30 am. What do I do with this? 3 days grounded? What? Please help.

````````````````````````

Hi D.,

Assuming she has returned home by now, issue the least restrictive consequence first (e.g., grounded for one evening with no phone privileges). If she refuses to accept the least restrictive consequence, then withhold all privileges and ground her for 3 days.

Most importantly, however, issue the following warning and be prepared to back-up your words with action: “If you choose to violate curfew and spend the night at your boyfriend’s again, you will choose the consequence. The police will be called, and I will file a run away charge with juvenile probation.”

Tough love,

Mark

Online Parent Support