ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Teenagers smoke, take drugs, have unprotected sex and ride with drunk drivers, not because they think they are invulnerable or haven't thought about the risks. In fact, they are more likely to ponder the risks, take longer weighing the pros and cons of engaging in high-risk behavior than grown-ups, and actually overestimate the risks. It's just that they often decide the benefits (e.g., the immediate gratification, peer acceptance, etc.) outweigh the risks. While grown-ups scarcely think about engaging in many high-risk behaviors because they intuitively grasp the risks, teenagers take the time to mull-over the risks and benefits. In other words, more experienced decision-makers tend to rely more on fuzzy reasoning, processing situations and problems as a “general idea” rather than weighing multiple factors. On the other hand, emergency room doctors (for example) make better decisions by processing less information and making sharper black-and-white distinctions among...

When moms and dads avoid disputes and disagreements at all cost with their adolescent (i.e., they do anything and everything to keep the peace), they are ignoring some of the greatest teaching moments they will ever have. Disagreement in and of itself is not what produces change for the better – it is how we, as parents, respond to it. Disagreement can be a force for good in families, but only if it is dealt with properly. The way we react can either deepen the relationship with our teens – or it can tear it down. Most children simply want to know that they are being heard! Refusing to understand this principle and shutting-down any form of disagreement or conflict can build a wall between the two of you. Also, walls can build-up when you belittle your adolescent’s thoughts and feelings. The issue may seem like a small or “black and white” deal to you, but it could be confusing and all-encompassing to them. You can say something like, “I think I understand what you are saying, ...

Teen : “School sucks. I’m not going anymore!” Mother : “What!?”  Teen : “I hate school …I quit!!” Mother : “You can’t just quit, Michael!!”  Teen : “Why not? People quit and get a GED all the time!!!” Mother : “You have to finish high school. You don’t want to work at McDonald’s the rest of your life.” Teen : “Whatever… I'm quitting, and you can't stop me.” Whether your adolescent is being bullied at school or is struggling with classes, dropping-out of school should never be an option. Statistically speaking, high school drop-outs earn approximately $260,000 less than those who have their diploma and cost the U.S. over $319 billion in lost wages over the course of the drop-out’s lifetime. High school drop-outs often struggle to find happiness because, in most cases, career choices are relegated to low-income jobs with no advancement. The best way to keep an adolescent in school is through support, motivation and letting him/her see firsthand what would happen...