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12 Common Parenting Mistakes and Fixes for Defiant Preschoolers

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Even the most insightful mother or father makes mistakes when it comes to raising children – especially preschoolers who are at the age where they begin to assert their independence for the first time (similar to when they become teenagers). You can't erase your worst parenting moments, but with some introspection, you can keep from repeating them. Even “parenting experts” who are also parents themselves admit that they have moments when they wish they could have hit rewind on their parental performances. It may seem like your defiant preschooler has the innate ability to push you to the outer edge of sanity. Fear not – you're not alone. Preschoolers want to own their newly discovered autonomy, but they also want the close attention and love of their parents.  Here are 12 common mistakes that moms and dads of preschoolers make – and some clever fixes to help resolve problems: Mistake #1— Be inconsistent: Few things can confuse your defiant preschooler more tha...

How to Make Defiant Behavior in Children Worse

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Defiant children are usually raised in homes where limits are too lenient or inconsistent. One or both parents may not be available to give the youngster any attention. The mom or dad may also demonstrate defiant behavior.  Do you lean more toward the lenient side? Are your rules often inconsistent? Do you have little time to spend with your child? Do you get angry with your child (e.g., yell, nag). If so, then you are on the right track for making defiant behavior worse. Below are some more ideas... 10 tips for making defiant behavior worse: Add more and more consequences. Don’t follow through with consequences and try to be inconsistent. Engage in confrontation in front your child’s peers or siblings. Fight every parent-child battle that comes along, regardless of how big or small the problem is. Get annoyed at every little thing your child does wrong. Let power-struggles go on for a long time. Lose your temper (e.g., yell or use sarcasm to escalate the probl...

Self-Control Strategies for Severely Aggressive Children

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Severe aggression can a problem for kids with both normal development, and those with psychosocial disturbances. There is no single theory about the causes of severe aggressive behavior in children. Some theorists believe it is innate or instinctive, others suggest the breakdown in commonly shared values, changes in traditional family patterns of child-rearing, and social isolation lead to severe aggression. Aggressive behavior may be intentional or unintentional. Many hyperactive, clumsy kids are accidentally aggressive, but their intentions are compassionate. Kids in all age groups learn that aggressive behavior is a powerful way to communicate their wishes or deal with their likes and dislikes. In any event, here are some ideas on how parents can teach their aggressive children to exercise more self-control: 1. As the parent, don’t react aggressively to your child’s aggression. It’s easy to become outraged at an abusive, violent youngster – especially an older one who proba...