ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Mark, Thanks for your concern. Well I have started reading the ebook, but have not yet completed. I thought I should first complete reading before implementing. I think its an excellent book and am looking forward to seriously using the advise given there. I just wanted a little clarity with respect to my case. Please bear with me. I have only one adopted child (adopted from the day she was born) who just turned thirteen. Since childhood we have found her to be a very difficult child. Though we have not got her diagnosed clinically as an ODD child, from what I have read in the past and also from your book she conforms to at least 90% of the criteria given for ODD. Since she had always been very hyper, impulsive, lacked concentration, easily distracted and used abusive language, I had her locally (in Pakistan) assessed when she was 8 and was told she is not ADHD just a high spirited child and needed a behavioural therapy program. In order to confirm this I had taken her to a ps...

Hi, some good news. The other night I had a really good chat with my son and went over the dependency cycle with him -- and also got him to tick which of the statements of behaviour was his, and which was the parents. He was very honest and laughed when we came to the parent’s bit on saying “no” to kids. When I asked him why he was laughing, he said, “Because it sounded just like his dad.” I have spoken to his dad and told him this and printed off some information for him including the dependency cycle. I have had a quick look at it with him, and he has said he will read it, but he wasn't sure if he could totally follow your program as he does find it so hard saying no. But he has said we can go over it together and adapt to what he thinks he can manage and take it from there -- small steps at a time. So I am making some progress. Kind regards, A. J. _______________ More information on the Dependency Cycle: www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Mark, Thank you for your help and for being available. We have not yet implemented anything but have read most of session 1. David does like to bully his brothers and I guess everyone he can when he gets angry or wants and outcome to be a certain way. Last night my son David asked me if he could go camping with his friend and his friend's father this weekend. He was doing better in school [before the virus came along and the schools closed]. I do see his efforts and don't want to discourage any positive even if it isn't what I would like to see completely. However, I was going to let him go and then in an argument that he swears he didn't start he pushed his younger brother in anger. This is not a new problem and we have handled it with appropriate consequences. David's stepfather told him immediately that he wasn't going on this trip. I am not sure that is the right thing to do because we haven't really prepared him or any of our children for thi...

Mark, My son starts fires. He recently decided to catch playing cards on fire and throw them under his bed. We could have had our house burnt to the ground. My husband wants to take him to a burn unit to show him what kind of damage can happen to the skin when burned. Does this sound like a good idea or not? ____________________ Not! Remember that defiant kids enjoy intensity. So a trip to the burn unit will not intimidate him, rather it will intrigue him. Often times parents will attempt to "scare" their children into behaving properly. For example, parents may want their child to: -- take a tour of juvenile detention -- take a tour of adult jail or prison -- go through the "scared straight" program (where kids go to an adult prison and get yelled at by a bunch of incarcerated convicts) -- go to the local morgue to view the deceased, mangled body of someone who was not wearing his seat belt or who drove drunk These are examples of "traditiona...

One of the members of Online Parent Support recently told me that her ex-husband is not on the same page with her regarding discipline. Sometimes he cooperates with her, other times he does his own thing -- which undermines her. Her oldest son lives with his father, but visits her a couple times a week. The son does not like visiting mom, because mom has rules and dad does not (not many anyway). So here was my response: ---------- Good to hear from you A., I think I detect a bit of cooperation from your ex, although he does not like to be the "bad guy" and does not like to be put in the middle (i.e., between you and your son). If you haven't already done so, please give you ex a copy of the ebook. Is he open to trying a few new things? If he will get on the same page with you, the two of you will have tremendous success with your eldest son. However, if your husband "does his own thing" as far as discipline (or lack thereof), then we...

"I have bought your ebook and wanted your advice. I spilt from my partner 2 years ago, and my eldest son who is 13 nearly 14 stayed with his dad. The problem I have is our son is out of control, and I feel helpless, as my son is just how you describe, and his dad is exactly how you describe. I do punishments and follow them through, but how can I get his dad to see that him giving our son whatever he wants is the cause for his behaviour -- and is not because his dad and I parted. His dad can say he is grounded, but then lets his friends sleep over. I'm at my wits end with worry and feel so helpless. When I was with my ex, this was always a big problem, because whenever I said no, it would be "I’ll ask dad ...he will let me" -- and yes he would. Any help or advice would be great. Many thanks A." __________________________ Hi A., There are two things that will happen: 1.Dad (your ex) will be on the same page as you …or 2.Dad will NOT be on t...

My son was just recently diagnosed ODD, although I suspected for quite some time. Is there ever a time where it is too late to begin these techniques? Things are escalating here and there has been some drinking and smoking marijuana. He has disappeared in his car for 8 hrs before and he ran away Friday night -- the police found him after 3 hours and brought him home. He shows no remorse for this and I've found on his website that he almost brags about it -- a badge of honor of sorts. I am truly at my wits end as I don't know where to go with this behavior. We have contemplated sending him to a residential treatment facility, however, those are very pricey and I would prefer to keep him in the home and "fix" everything. I don't want to be unrealistic, I just want my "baby" back. I need to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel!! Thanks for your help! _____________________ Hi C., There is NEVER a time where it is too l...