ONLINE PARENTING COACH

"I'm the mom of an 18 yr. old boy, and I have always had to be the 'bad guy' throughout his and his sister's lives as my husband has NEVER given either of them a consequence EVER. My daughter seems to be doing fine, but we have had lots of issues with my son. My son has cussed at me and my husband just stands there and says nothing. My husband has also put me down in front of my son. I think that was because he wants our son to 'like him'. This has more than damaged my marriage, and I am fearful that my son will treat his wife the same way some day. I feel it is too late in my circumstance. My friends say that some day my son will think of me with respect because I did stand up to him and have expectations for him. I hope I live to see it. I love him dearly and just want him to have a happy and successful life."  There are some families in which the parents’ beliefs about changing children’s behavior are so different that their attempts at discip...

"I need advice on how to deal with a very demanding 15 y.o. brat (sorry)!" As a parent, you know all too well that some kids will simply not take “no” for an answer.  Just as they need to learn the importance of saying “please” and “thank you,” they need to learn how to appropriately make requests. If you are the mother or father of a demanding son or daughter, rest assured that this is not a new problem and there are many parents in the same boat. Here's some help on this issue... 20 tips for dealing with demanding children: 1.  The goal for parents is to immediately respond to demands with (a) choices, (b) consequences, and (c) consistent follow-through in order to avoid power struggles and tantrums. If this is a new approach for you, the youngster will probably still have tantrums in response to this new approach. In fact, his reactions may seem to be more extreme before it improves, because he is testing new limits. Your youngster wants to see if you will re...

Want to know how to be the best parent that any child could have? Here are the secrets to positive parenting in a nutshell: 1.        Listen 2.        Praise 3.        Gain compliance 4.        Use effective consequences 5.        Have family meetings 6.        Create win-win solutions 7.        Build your child’s self-esteem Now let’s look at each of these individually… 1. Listen-- The most valuable gift you can give your youngster is to listen to the little and big things in her life. Begin early so that the lines of communication will be open during the adolescent years: Stop what you are doing. Look at your youngster. Pay attention to your youngster's nonverbal language (e.g., does the youngster look happy, sad, or afrai...

Have you ever been to a friend's house, the Mall, or a restaurant and witnessed a very disturbing parent-child interaction that caused you to have the thought, “Oh my God …that parent should be arrested!” or something similar? Unfortunately, there are a lot of good people out there who are just plain “bad” parents. And here’s how they do it… 12 ways to be the best “bad” parent out there: Bad Parenting Method #1: Don’t build strong bonds . Corrective Measures: If you want your youngster to be more cooperative, change your focus from improving him to improving your relationship. When you dwell on the ways he's misbehaving, it just discourages both of you (you feel like a bad parent, and he feels as if he can't do anything right). Besides, all that energy you're using to correct him could be channeled into something more uplifting and effective. So try to give him positive feedback several times a day (i.e., a specific compliment on something you see him...

Teenagers smoke, take drugs, have unprotected sex and ride with drunk drivers, not because they think they are invulnerable or haven't thought about the risks. In fact, they are more likely to ponder the risks, take longer weighing the pros and cons of engaging in high-risk behavior than grown-ups, and actually overestimate the risks. It's just that they often decide the benefits (e.g., the immediate gratification, peer acceptance, etc.) outweigh the risks. While grown-ups scarcely think about engaging in many high-risk behaviors because they intuitively grasp the risks, teenagers take the time to mull-over the risks and benefits. In other words, more experienced decision-makers tend to rely more on fuzzy reasoning, processing situations and problems as a “general idea” rather than weighing multiple factors. On the other hand, emergency room doctors (for example) make better decisions by processing less information and making sharper black-and-white distinctions among...

When moms and dads avoid disputes and disagreements at all cost with their adolescent (i.e., they do anything and everything to keep the peace), they are ignoring some of the greatest teaching moments they will ever have. Disagreement in and of itself is not what produces change for the better – it is how we, as parents, respond to it. Disagreement can be a force for good in families, but only if it is dealt with properly. The way we react can either deepen the relationship with our teens – or it can tear it down. Most children simply want to know that they are being heard! Refusing to understand this principle and shutting-down any form of disagreement or conflict can build a wall between the two of you. Also, walls can build-up when you belittle your adolescent’s thoughts and feelings. The issue may seem like a small or “black and white” deal to you, but it could be confusing and all-encompassing to them. You can say something like, “I think I understand what you are saying, ...

Teen : “School sucks. I’m not going anymore!” Mother : “What!?”  Teen : “I hate school …I quit!!” Mother : “You can’t just quit, Michael!!”  Teen : “Why not? People quit and get a GED all the time!!!” Mother : “You have to finish high school. You don’t want to work at McDonald’s the rest of your life.” Teen : “Whatever… I'm quitting, and you can't stop me.” Whether your adolescent is being bullied at school or is struggling with classes, dropping-out of school should never be an option. Statistically speaking, high school drop-outs earn approximately $260,000 less than those who have their diploma and cost the U.S. over $319 billion in lost wages over the course of the drop-out’s lifetime. High school drop-outs often struggle to find happiness because, in most cases, career choices are relegated to low-income jobs with no advancement. The best way to keep an adolescent in school is through support, motivation and letting him/her see firsthand what would happen...