Posts

Showing posts matching the search for rebellion

Is Your Adolescent Exhibiting "Normal" Teenage Rebellion or Is He/She Headed for a Train Wreck?

Image
In this article, we will discuss key signs and factors that can help you distinguish between normal teenage rebellion versus dangerous behavior. Understanding this difference is crucial for parents, teachers, and anyone working with teenagers. First, let's define what we mean by normal teen rebellion. During adolescence, it's common for teenagers to push boundaries, seek more independence, and express themselves differently. This phase is a natural part of their development, as they explore their identities and test their own limits. It may involve engaging in minor acts of rebellion, such as experimenting with different styles, challenging authority figures, or questioning societal norms. However, it is important to remember that this rebellious behavior is typically harmless and doesn't pose a significant threat to their well-being. Now, let's shift our focus to indicators of dangerous behavior in teenagers. Dangerous behavior goes beyond the typical rebellious acts a...

How to Tell the Difference Between Normal Rebellion Versus a Psychological Problem

Image
"My seventeen year old daughter is so very angry. She is involved with drugs and has gotten in some legal trouble as well. She is verbally abusive to me and to my husband who is her stepfather. The problem is that other times she is a joy to be around. She is funny, and very bright and creative. I wonder if she may have a psychological problem or may be an opposition defiant child. Not sure what to think right now." How can a parent tell the difference between normal rebellion and the signal that an adolescent is troubled? Ask yourself these two questions: 1. Is this behavior change drastic for my adolescent? Normal rebellious behavior develops over time, beginning with an adolescent wanting to be with friends more and disagreeing with moms and dads more frequently. Problem rebellion is sudden and drastically out of character. For example, a normally rebellious "A" student may get a few "Bs" and cut a class or two, but if he suddenly starts fai...

The Science of Rebellion: Understanding the Psychology Behind Teen Defiance and Growth

Image
Adolescence, typically spanning from ages 10 to 19, is a pivotal and transformative stage of development characterized by profound shifts in physical, emotional, and social realms. During this time, teenagers often engage in rebellious behaviors that can perplex parents, educators, and caregivers. To comprehend these behaviors fully, it's essential to delve into the psychological underpinnings of teenage defiance, illuminating how it serves as an avenue for personal growth, identity formation, and social exploration. ### Hormonal Changes and Emotional Volatility As teenagers approach puberty, their bodies undergo rapid hormonal fluctuations that significantly affect their mood and behavior. The release of hormones such as testosterone in boys and estrogen in girls can lead to intense emotions, increased sensitivity, and heightened reactions to social situations. This volatility can manifest as anger, sadness, or anxiety, creating the ideal breeding ground for rebellious behavior as...

"Punishment" Creates Problems -- "Discipline" Resolves Problems

Image
“Punishing” teenagers often creates more discipline problems than it solves. I define punishment as anything that causes blame, shame or pain. When moms and dads focus on blaming, shaming and causing pain to their teenager, his or her brain's limbic system reacts with intense defense. When a parent punishes teenagers, they don’t react with remorse and a “how can I make it better” attitude. Instead, they react with one of the "Four R’s", which leads to increased discipline problems. Moms and dads use punishment because it “appears” to stop misbehavior immediately (and sometimes does). Sometimes we must beware of what works when the long-term results are negative. The long-term results of punishment are that children usually adopt one or all of the Four R’s of Punishment: Rebellion Resentment Retreat (avoiding contact/conversation with the parent) Revenge When a teenager reacts with one or more of the "Four R’s", he is not focused on “life lesson...

Dealing With Your Out-of-Control Teenage Daughter

Image
 Here are some quick tips for all you parents with an out-of-control teenage daughter... • Ask yourself, “What have I done to contribute to the rift between us?” Think about when the trouble began. How old was she and what was going on in your family life? I have counseled hundreds of father/mothers and daughters whose relationships were badly damaged and getting worse. For healing to begin, it was important for the father/mother to understand what part she had in fueling the fires of defiance. If you’re willing to take an honest look at yourself, you will find some answers. • Avoid Blame. While some people claim that when a daughter is rebellious her father/mother is to blame, this usually is not true. Blaming the daughter for the difficulties does nothing to fix the problem either. There are many circumstances that contribute to the predicament. • Be Willing to Negotiate. The “fix my daughter” approach won’t work. Both father/mother and daughter have to be willing t...

How to Create Win-Win Outcomes Rather than Power Struggles: Tips for Parents

Image
We see the main problem is he has turned on us... he is angry and is baiting us... he just came in from soccer and hit me with a tirade of swearing. He was angry because he wanted takeaway food and he was told that there was food at home. He has now taken off – it is 11pm. How do we make him realise that he needs to conform to our rules. He has no friends and we are the only people who support him. The punching of the walls and threatening to tell people that his father rapes him etc are just his way of punishing us. Will keeping the screws on him keep making the situation worse or will it eventually break him? `````````````````````````````````` Re: Will keeping the screws on him keep making the situation worse or will it eventually break him? First of all, we're not in the business of "breaking" children. This implies a power struggle with one winner and one loser. Rather, we're in the business of fostering the development of self-reliance. ...

Stepdaughter Hates Stepmother

Image
Hello, before I waste anymore time I thought I'd cut straight to the point and just ask if you cover teens loving in split homes with step-parents. My step-teenager lives one week with her Dad and I, and one week with her mother (and boyfriend). Issues seem to come from the fact that she all of a sudden hates me, even though I've been around for 8 years and she's 15. Do you cover anything like that because every book. Other therapist try to treat me like I'm a "parent" when she does not see me that way, so none of the tactics work. Just curious, as this teen is destroying my marriage and seems to be enjoying herself while she is doing it. Thanks for your time. Sincerely, B. `````````````````````````````````````````` Hi B., I can promise you that you will benefit from my program. You are more of a mentor than a mother. You are an adult male in your stepdaughter’s life, much like an aunt, a scout leader or a teacher, but you live under the...

Understanding Teen Engagement in Public Violent Protests: A Comprehensive Guide for Parents

Image
In recent years, the landscape of civic engagement has evolved, with young people increasingly participating in protests to express their views on social justice issues. This trend often escalates into violence, leaving many parents feeling anxious and uncertain about how to respond when their teenager becomes involved. To effectively guide your teenager through this complex situation, it's essential to understand the underlying motivations for their actions and adopt constructive strategies for engagement. #### The Context: Understanding Why Teenagers Participate in Protests Today's teenagers are often more politically and socially aware than previous generations, influenced by a wealth of information accessible through digital media. They are increasingly passionate about issues such as racial equality, climate change, police reform, and more. However, this passion can sometimes lead to reckless decisions, including participation in violent protests. Understanding the factors...

Defiant Behavior versus Normal Teenage Rebellion

Many families of defiant teens live in a home that has become a battleground. In the beginning, the daily struggles can be expected. After all, we knew that problems would occur because teens are naturally rebellious, to a degree. Initially, stress can be so subtle that we lose sight of a war, which others do not realize is occurring.    We honestly believe that we can work through the problems. Outbursts, rages, and strife become a way of life (an emotionally unhealthy way of life). We set aside our own needs and focus on the needs of our teenager. But what does it cost us? There is a significant difference between normal teenage rebellion versus defiance : Defiant teens are destructive and disagreeable by nature They like to push their parents' anger-buttons Every request results in a power struggle Lying is a daily habit, and stealing is a favorite hobby Getting others to react strongly pleases and amuses them They blame others for their mistakes and misbehavior ...

Discipline Methods That Make a Bad Problem Worse

Image
D___ is beyond out of control. He is still grounded from his computer until he has completed his 10 day sentence to alternative school (he tries constantly to get them back- just for 1hr cause I am being good type deal). But the real issue is at school. He is in alternative school right now and the teacher today says D___ is being so bad that if he does not stop they are going to have the police write him a ticket!!!! This is up to a 500.00 fine that I DO NOT HAVE OR WILL EVER HAVE and WILL NOT PAY so i don't know what happens then?? !! The teacher asked him to stop talking and D___ says she has no right to take away his freedom of speech, he refuses to do this work, told the teacher she is horrible at her job! HE IS A NIGHTMARE. I got him on the phone and told him he had better keep his &%&)%$(&)^% mouth shut and i mean NOW! So what do I do know that I blew it again? Strip his room to a mattress and make him earn every piece back? Or take everything and give it a...