There are way too many out of control kids out here...

Hello Mark,

I wrote to you a few weeks ago regarding my grandson that we had guardianship of. My grandson was in the hall since Sept. 18 and we went to court yesterday. His mother agreed to take him back to Los Angeles. The judge obviously did not read anything about his past history. He shocked us by telling the court audience that we "failed" Logan and terminated our guardianship. The judge reduced his 3 misdemeanors to 2; 21 days served in the hall is done and 6 months probation and his case is being transferred to Riverside County and said that Logan is now their problem. I guarantee that Logan and his mother will have a big argument within one week or sooner, because he has not learned a thing except to bully adults.

What I've seen the public defenders do is plea bargain serious offenses (felonies) down to misdemeanors so the kids do not have to spend time in the hall due to overcrowding. There is no offer of classes like you have or counseling for either parents or children. The deputies do not like dealing with juvenile probation; public defenders do not like dealing with parents and keep us in the dark and the kids get to make their own decisions regarding their pleas.

My question to you is--what is the recidivism of children returning to the system after the parents have taken your course at Superior Court? Are the parents required to take your course when the child first gets in trouble? Is your program in other states juvenile systems?

Our biggest problems here in central California is drugs and gangs. A 12 year old boy just shot and killed his 76 year old grandmother. He was probably expelled from school because he had "problems" in school and was being home schooled by grandma. They got into an altercation and he shot her. If there could be an intervention when teachers see the ODD behavior, parents could take your course early enough to turn the kid around. Logan has been acting out since kindergarten. By 6th grade, his teacher wanted to kick him out of class, so I took him to the doctor and he was diagnosed with ADD and was put on Concerta which helped some. I don't agree now that kids need to be put on drugs to control behavior. It's too late for us and Logan?

There are way too many out of control kids out here. I really feel sorry for teachers, because they have to deal with a lot of students acting out. What can I do to get your message out there to wake up the authorities and parents about your program?

Thanks for listening.

M.

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Hi M.,

Re: My question to you is--what is the recidivism of children returning to the system after the parents have taken your course at Superior Court?

Most parents (90% +) are able to avoid involving their child in the system at all. Those who attend the live group – or join OPS – after their juvenile is already on probation greatly cut down on the length of time he/she is on probation. Plus the juvenile whose parent is using these strategies tends to violate probation much less than those in the control group.

Re: Are the parents required to take your course when the child first gets in trouble?

Some are court-ordered – most are not.

Re: Is your program in other states juvenile systems?

Only Indiana currently. But I hope to branch out as my Higher Power leads me to do so.

Re: It's too late for us and Logan?

It’s never too late.

Re: What can I do to get your message out there to wake up the authorities and parents about your program?

Tell them to Google for www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com …then they can see for themselves whether or not the program is of any value to them.

Mark

College Student Needs To Learn How To Budget

Hi mark

Y___ at college…

She entitled to £30.p/week as student, which goes into her bank account although at present isn't yet receiving as late application. X gives her money every week I just give her on daily basis as required to get to college and lunch when she runs out. X gives more than required for college so she uses for going out, rubbish food, clothes (you name it). She has stolen quite substantial sums of money from myself and x without consistent consequences in the past, im quite observant and careful so have received it back if caught before spending but x isn't aware half the time and leaves money around for easy picking, she has been sacked or walked out on p/t jobs, and is determined not to work as she knows that she owes a lot of money to various folk. When she committed these mentioned acts I said she needs to pay us all back.

On assignment 1 put into place chores, so should I start paying for these? But she has been reasonably good, as I comment on her helpful acts, but admittedly, not always.
Not sure how to go about grant money. Because she abuses money and uses for her needs.... has not learnt self-reliance.

K.

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You will want to follow the recommendations in “The Art of Saying Yes” and in “The Art of Saying No”.

Bottom line: This is a golden opportunity for your daughter to learn how to budget. The basics of budgeting are the same for students as they are for anybody else: list the sources of income, such as savings from summer jobs, financial support from parents, financial aid from the school, scholarships, and income from a job. Then list expenses, such as tuition, books, groceries, gas, entertainment, etc., in as much detail as possible. Make a budget worksheet.

If expenses are less than income, she’s in good shape as long as she sticks to a spending plan. If expenses are MORE than income, she needs to find ways to cut spending or increase your income.

Throwing money at her will NOT teach budgeting – and a college degree is no guarantee of an ability to manage money wisely. It takes effort and discipline, and the time to start is now. So keep this larger goal of “teaching her how to budget” in the back of your mind.

Mark

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