Y___ at college…
She entitled to £30.p/week as student, which goes into her bank account although at present isn't yet receiving as late application. X gives her money every week I just give her on daily basis as required to get to college and lunch when she runs out. X gives more than required for college so she uses for going out, rubbish food, clothes (you name it). She has stolen quite substantial sums of money from myself and x without consistent consequences in the past, im quite observant and careful so have received it back if caught before spending but x isn't aware half the time and leaves money around for easy picking, she has been sacked or walked out on p/t jobs, and is determined not to work as she knows that she owes a lot of money to various folk. When she committed these mentioned acts I said she needs to pay us all back.
On assignment 1 put into place chores, so should I start paying for these? But she has been reasonably good, as I comment on her helpful acts, but admittedly, not always.
Not sure how to go about grant money. Because she abuses money and uses for her needs.... has not learnt self-reliance.
You will want to follow the recommendations in “The Art of Saying Yes” and in “The Art of Saying No”.
Bottom line: This is a golden opportunity for your daughter to learn how to budget. The basics of budgeting are the same for students as they are for anybody else: list the sources of income, such as savings from summer jobs, financial support from parents, financial aid from the school, scholarships, and income from a job. Then list expenses, such as tuition, books, groceries, gas, entertainment, etc., in as much detail as possible. Make a budget worksheet.
If expenses are less than income, she’s in good shape as long as she sticks to a spending plan. If expenses are MORE than income, she needs to find ways to cut spending or increase your income.
Throwing money at her will NOT teach budgeting – and a college degree is no guarantee of an ability to manage money wisely. It takes effort and discipline, and the time to start is now. So keep this larger goal of “teaching her how to budget” in the back of your mind.
Online Parent Support
The Strong-Willed Out-of-Control Teen
The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing teens with serious behavioral problems. Disrespect, anger, violent rages, self-injury, running away from home, school failure, hanging-out with the wrong crowd, drug abuse, theft, and legal problems are just some of the behaviors that parents of defiant teens will have to learn to control.
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