Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

Search This Site

Tips for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

"I have a daughter who has been a problem since the age of 15 …she is now 27yrs …has a 2yr old daughter …she dumped the child and went to stay with boyfriend …doesn’t even contribute a cent to this child and I find myself having to start all over again raising a child. I don’t like this situation, but I feel sorry for the child …what can I do in this situation?"

Click here for my response...

Adolescents in Trouble

Adolescents in Trouble: Criminal Behavior

Links to sites providing information helpful in understanding, preventing, and coping with criminal behavior in adolescents.


·         American Bar Association Juvenile Justice Center - articles, pending legislation, and a nice annotated list of links related to juvenile justice.
·         Juvenile Justice - by the (U.S.) National Criminal Justice Reference Service
·         Juvenile Justice Clearinghouse - Many links including those to departments of juvenile justice by state.
·         U.S. Juvenile Justice Law - Legal Information Institute, Cornell law School

Information and Stats—

·         Kids and Firearms - American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
·         Kids Who Steal - American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
·         National Youth Gang Center - from the U.S. Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention
·         Office of Juvenile Justice Statistical Briefing Book - Facts and statistics published by this department.

Adolescents in Trouble: Substance Abuse

Links to sites providing information helpful in understanding, preventing, and coping with substance abuse.


·          Prevention Online - by the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information
·         Addiction Search - gateway to reliable information on all aspects of addiction.


Web of Addictions Rolodex - hotline and organization contact information.

Information & Stats—

·         Adolescent Substance Abuse Knowledge Base - identify drugs, signs and usage, and treatment & solutions.
·         ASH Home Web age - News articles, documents, and statistics from Action on Smoking and Health.
·         Center for Education and Drug Abuse Research -University of Pittsburgh
·         Kids of Alcoholics - another factsheet from the AACAP.
·         Making Decisions about Substance Abuse Treatment - by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
·         Adolescents: Alcohol and Other Drugs - factsheet from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

Recovery Programs—

·         Al-Anon / Alateen - "hope and help for families and friends of alcoholics".
·         Alcohol Anonymous - Web site of the international organization.
·         Cocaine Anonymous Home Page
·         Narcotics Anonymous - site of the World Service Office.
·         Self-Help Information Sources - A long list of sites from the Web of Addictions.

Adolescents in Trouble: Runaways

Links to sites providing information helpful in understanding, preventing, and coping with runaway behavior.


·         Focus Adolescent Services - Community-based outreach program in Florida that offers information resources in addition to services for runaways and families.
·         National Center for Missing and Exploited Kids - This non-profit U.S. agency employs state-of-the-art technology to locate missing kids and adolescents.
·         National Runaway Switchboard - Volunteer organization which provides confidential help to runaways and their families, as well as information and educational services.
·         Runaway Lives - Personal stories about the runaway experience and discussion by runaways and their families.
·         Team Hope provides one-on-one support to moms/dads of missing kids through a volunteer network of moms/dads who have survived the experience. The website also offers a wealth of information on abduction, runaways, Internet enticement, etc.

Missing Kids Sites—

Cyberpage's Missing Kids Page - Lists kids missing and contact information.

Information & Stats—

·         Covenant House: For Moms/dads: Youngster Missing? - Steps to take if your youngster is discovered missing.
·         Health Needs of Homeless and Runaway Youth: A Position Paper of the Society for Adolescent Medicine - from the Journal of Adolescent Health: 1992;13:717-726.
·         Helping Runaway and Homeless Youth Grow up Safe and Secure - Remarks by U.S Secretary of Health and Human Services, Donna Shalala at the National Network for Youth Annual Conference, Washington, D.C., February 8, 1999
·         Sourcebook of Criminal Justice Statistics - Runaways - U.S. statistics from the Department of Justice.
·         Teen Runaways, PBS Newshour transcript, May 14, 1996 - Rod Minott of KCTS-Seattle reports on how Washington State deals with teenage runaways.
·         The Iowa Legislative Report - Details Iowa's legislation which encourages counties to establish runaway assessment and treatment programs.
·         When Your Youngster Is Missing: A Family Survival Guide - Informative and sensitive site for moms/dads written (with assistance from law enforcement and youth service professionals) by moms/dads who have experienced the trauma of a missing youngster.


·         Youngster Find of America, Inc. (New York)-phone 1-800-a-way-out
·         National Missing Kids's Locate Center (Oregon)-phone 1-800-999-7846
·         National Runaway Switchboard - phone 1-800-621-4003

Travel & Communication Services—

·         Guardian Youth Escort Service
·         Contact-A-Runaway - fee-based message service for runaways and moms/dads.
·         "Home Free" Bus Service - Greyhound Lines, in conjunction with the National Runaway Switchboard, will provide free one way transportation for runaway kids returning home through its "Home Free" program.

Prevention & Intervention—

·         Youngster Find Alberta - "... providing the citizens of Alberta with programs for prevention, intervention, location and recovery, and postvention/follow up."
·         Operation Go Home- Canadian organization dedicated to reuniting runaways with their families or matching them with agencies which can provide help. Educational materials are also available.
·         The Runaway Game - "Choose-your-own-adventure" style hypertext novel with 20 different endings designed to help adolescents understand the realities of life as a runaway. At the end of each chapter, readers make choices which lead to different scenarios.
·         Understanding and Preventing Teenage Runaways - advice a clinical psychologist.
·         Youth Crisis Center of Jacksonville, Florida - one community's response to the problem of runaways includes the SAFE PLACE program begun in 1986.

Adolescents in Trouble: Suicide

Links to sites providing information helpful in understanding, preventing, and coping with suicidal behavior.


·         Mental Health Net: Suicide
·         Open Directory: Teen Suicide


·         Samaritans Online - Email and U.K./Ireland telephone support service.
·         Suicide Crisis Center - U.S. suicide hotlines.
·         Suicide Helplines - Worldwide list of hotlines.

Information and Stats—

·         HaveAHeart Homepage: A Rest Stop for the Depressed and Suicidal - Thoughtful discussion of suicidal feelings and how to cope with them by Stephen L. Bernhardt.
·         Healing of Nations - The wisdom of Native American traditions speaks to us all at this unique site. "Site index and resources" includes practical information and many relevant links.
·         SA\VE Home Page - Brief informative articles on many facets of suicide, a booklist, and statistics sources.
·         Suicide Prevention - Myths and facts offered by the University of Illinois Counseling Center.
·         Teen Suicide - American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

Adolescents in Trouble: Other Mental Disorders

Links to sites providing information helpful in understanding, preventing, and coping with mental disorders in adolescents.

Specialized Search Engines and Directories—

PsychCrawler - Search for info at the American Psychological Association site, the National Institute of Health, and seven other authoritative sites.


·         Internet Mental Health
·         School Psychology Resources Online - Includes many links to sites about specific disorders.

Specific Disorder Sites—

·         Depression Resource Center


·         American Association of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: Facts for Families - Very informative fact sheets in English and Spanish covering a wide range of adolescent and family problems, their treatment, and coping strategies.

Adolescents in Trouble: Eating Disorders

Links to sites providing information helpful in understanding, preventing, and coping with eating disorders in adolescents.


·         Anorexic Web - Very thoughtful, personal, and honest site is maintained by an eating disorders counselor who is also a recovering anorexic.
·         Caring Online: offers a wide variety of resources dealing with all aspects of eating disorders, including support and personal stories.
·         International Eating Disorder Referral Organization - Provides information and treatment resources for all forms of eating disorders.
·         The Something Fishy Website on Eating Disorders - excellent informative site

Hotlines and Discussion Groups—

·         Something Fishy: Online Support - includes online chats, bulletin boards, support groups, and email newsletters.

Information and Stats—

·         Adolescents with Eating Disorders - American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
·         Eating Disorder Recovery: Information & Links - Informative and encouraging site with a focus on therapy by a licensed psychotherapist.
·         Athletes with Eating Disorders - Factsheets on all aspects by Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disoarders, Inc.

Adolescents in Trouble: Learning Disorders

Links to sites providing information helpful in understanding, preventing, and coping with eating disorders in adolescents.


·         LD Resources
·         Learning Disabilities -American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry


·         Math Learning Disabilities
·         Kids Who Can't Pay Attention - American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
·         CH.A.D.D. - Kids and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder
·         About Learning Disabilities - Facts and myths from the Child Development Institute.


Adolescents in Trouble: Talk with Other Moms/dads

Newsgroups, Discussion Lists, Bulletin Boards & Chats—

·         alt.moms/dads-adolescents
·         Forum One - Search engine for over 280,000 message boards and other online discussions.
·         Google Groups - Search this massive index of Internet discussion groups and post messages.
·         KidSource Online Forums
·         KMH-L - Discussion list for moms/dads and professionals discussing mental health issues in kids and adolescents.
·         Liszt Directory of E-mail Discussion Groups - Search for a discussion list on a topic.
·         Parenting-L
·         The Parenting Chat
· - Similar to Liszt Directory above.

Teaching Adult Children To Be Independent

Your adult child just graduated from college. He isn’t sure he knows what to do, and he is asking you for money every few weeks. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? 

Here are some tips to help your adult child be more independent:

Be There— While I am not recommending that you are there with open wallet any time your adult child has a financial crisis, you can and need to be there to listen and offer advice where it is required. Helping your adult child out by listening and providing emotional support is just as important and better for them in the long run.

Remember back to your own early days out on your own. It may have been hard, you may have “borrowed” an awful lot shampoo from your roommate, but you survived it, and your adult child will too.

Gone, but Not Gone— What about the adult child who IS out on her own, but is still relying on mom and dad for financial assistance? Perhaps the job doesn’t pay enough for rent, utilities, car payment, and insurance. Continuing to pay for things like car and health insurance can actually help the adult child out in the long run; lower premiums and deductibles are in place when an young adult remains on the parents’ policies. (Of course, some companies - mostly health insurance companies - require that the adult child be enrolled in college full-time. It’s worth the effort to check this out!) If she can’t afford to pay the premiums, then she might be able to work it off – painting her old room, helping take care of grandma’s yard, cleaning out the garage, etc.

The important thing is to remember that you are trying to teach financial independence and responsibility, not bank-roll her life. It’s supposed to be hard, at first. She doesn’t have to live in a posh apartment complex, just a safe one. He doesn’t need all new furniture; something clean, serviceable, and not hideous is all that’s required in the beginning.

Have a Game Plan— In an ideal world, when adult child graduates from college, she is ready to claim a place in society. An apartment, a job, car, and understanding of fiscal responsibilities are all necessary to cope as an independent adult child. However, most of us don’t live in an ideal world, and due to any number of possible circumstances, your adult child isn’t quite able to face these challenges with confidence and independence. What to do? Well, first of all, unless you want a 35-year-old daughter taking up space years from now when you’re ready to retire, you’ve got to make a plan.

Some people may subscribe to the “Tough Love” approach – that is, no more money from parents once he’s got that diploma is his hot little hand. A bit ruthless, maybe, but chances are if you’re reading this, it’s not the option for you or your newly independent adult child. You do, however, see the benefit of weaning her from your bank account before she gives you grandchildren, so a plan is definitely in order.

Move It On Out— In addition to this financial meeting, you also need to decide how long your welcome mat will be out. Discuss with your adult child how long he feels the need to continue living at home. For many individuals, the idea of having to pay bills to one’s mother and father is enough of an impetus to get us out the door. For others, though, it’s not, and some incentive (like a deadline, not a cash reward!) is required.

The Small Stuff— If you’re going to help your adult child learn to do things on his own, a “small stuff” approach may be the answer. If he hasn’t gotten his “dream job”, encourage him to get a job that can at least pay the bills while he’s looking. If he’s still living at home, charging rent, a portion of the utilities and part of the grocery bill is appropriate. Sit down together with your wife (or girlfriend) and decide AHEAD OF TIME what you want your adult child to pay for. These expenses are not negotiable; present them to him as ironclad.

Flexibility in what he pays for will not teach him anything. The landlord of his first apartment will not care whether or not he had enough hours on the clock this month to make her rent. Once you’ve decided on the minimum requirements, sit down together and go over your expectations. Make sure to present your offer in a rational manner. YOU are the owner of the house. YOU are in charge. And it is your duty to help this adult child get out on his own.

==> Online Parent Support: Help for Parents of Defiant Teens

Join Our Facebook Support Group

Contact Form


Email *

Message *

Online Parenting Coach - Syndicated Content