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Hello, I ordered your book and the CD's... I am having trouble knowing when to implement and when to not... My son is probably going to be diagnosed Bi-polar soon.. it runs in the men's side of our family (grandfather, father, brothers, cousins)... he is taking risperdal now because he cycles into an agitated depression in the winter months... he is 17 years... a junior...you can see it coming on and this is the 2nd year that is is very noticeable.... He starts the school year doing his work and happy and by November he starts slacking down, starts having trouble sleeping and appetite starts to go down, and has to be pushed to finish the semester.... he gets C's and B's ... but then after christmas break... he gets worse... more argumentative... feels everyone is picking on him... and stops working completely... this year when i saw the anger and argumentative behavior. I asked the teachers if they were seeing anything different ... and they all agreed that after c...

Dear Mark, My name is E___, and our son's name is J___ (he is 15 yrs old). J___ has been sentenced to a four month open custody at the Young Offenders Centre and 2 month community supervision sentence which may be served at home or in a group home, we don't know yet. The judge ordered child welfare to be in contact with us 45 days prior to his May 30 release date from open custody to be involved to find a home for him for assessment and treatment. We had a case conference at the Centre last week as he is eligible for a group home during his open custody. It was decided by them to keep him there for 2 months as a stabilization time before he is moved. His sentence was for breaching the conditions of his probation (he had 3 breaches)...not following the rules of the house, drug (marijuana use), and not going to school. His involvement with the law started last spring when he was running away and not coming home for days. In that time he was charged with shoplifting a skat...

Online Parent Support

"Mark, What do you think of the “3-strikes-you’re-out” rule. We thought we would give our 15-year-old son one verbal warning for misbehavior, if the problem continued, give him one written warning, if the problem continued, issue the 3-day discipline. Have you heard of anyone trying this? Do you think it will work? Thanks in advance, M."  ```````````````````````````````` Hi M.,   I don’t think this method will hurt anything, but I don’t recommend it because it will be a waste of your time and energy. The “3-strikes method” is just another traditional parenting strategy that makes little – if any – change in the child’s behavior. I find that when you give a kid 3 strikes -- he uses all 3.  Teenagers, by definition, push against the world to see how it will push back …they test the limits …they spend a lot of time figuring out how much they can get away with. This is normal for a teenager. Thus, you can count on your son using all 3 strikes. A better method woul...

Well we just joined your program so we haven't even read all the way through the information, but the question I have is how do you convince your spouse to try this program? The reason I ask is his patience are at the end. We have a 14 year old that has ADHD, ODD, is bi-polar and has separation anxiety disorder. He is quite a challenge and there are days when we feel like there is NO hope. He is failing 3 of his required classes in school also? Just wanting to know how to get my spouse on the same page and to help him have some patience! Click here for my response...

Mark, It's been a while since I updated you on our family. M is in intensive probation as you recall. He had his first court hearing yesterday. They couldn't bring up the fight or the driving past curfew (from 9/07) since they did not have the completed paperwork from the prosecutor. He has started back to work, going to his counselor once a week, taking his ADHD rx (that I know of) is attending school every day (I am transporting to/from however) and he is maintaining all A's and B's with a C in psychology. Our home life, however is slower to come around. He is keeping himself very isolated in his room. He is either playing with his laptop, PSP, I-pod, etc. He will cook food for himself and leave a mess. Whenever he is asked to help out in the home, he either just says "no" or says "in a minute" and then never does it. The littlest thing will get him angry and then the F#*& come rapidly. They are aimed usually at me, and not just in...

Dear Mark: Our daughter refuses to meet us half way. Today she left the house to go to a friend’s. Without permission! The list goes on and on. Will your book really help with this kind of problem child? We feel helpless as to what to do. We can’t lock her up. We can't forcibly restrain her - and don`t dare strike her. She is 15. D. ```````````````````````````` Hi D., I can – and will – help you, but you're the one who will have to take some action. In answer to your question, "Will your book really help with this kind of problem child" ...it absolutely will help! I'm not going to bullshit you, though. The work will be tough -- but the reward will be well worth the effort. It all depends on how serious you are to implement change. Don't procrastinate! Mark My Out-of-Control Teen

Mark, I wanted you to see what the teacher has said since we last spoke! We have had a victory- hopefully the beginning of many! It works, it really works! You are a God send! THANK GOD!! WOOHOOO THANK YOU!!! Teach writes: So far today he has continued to surprise me. He has done wonderfully. Way to go mom. Now we know the rest of the story and what needs to be done to get his attention. He is a great kid!!! B.I. ``````````````` I wanted you to know that D___ had a terrific day yesterday. He finish all the assignments he was missing and he raised his hand the correct way to get help. He followed all the rules just like he was supposed to do. He earned his behavior clip and he seemed to be very proud of it. He has come in this morning and without my telling him he started to work. I am seeing a totally different kid and I love it. I will try to let you know more later. Thanks, B.I.

I’ve purchased your online book and have a question. I was reading towards the end of the book about School which is a huge deal for us. Over the years I’ve tried working it both ways as far as no consequences for grades – leaving my son to be responsible, to being involved and enforcing consequences for F’s. Like the person in your book, I am presently enforcing restriction of cell phone and activities off the block with friends until grades are brought up to the next grading period (6 weeks). Although I can understand letting go, and have felt the relief of letting go myself in the past, I do have a bipolar kid. I feel like if I don’t maintain involvement that because of the disorder he won’t succeed. My guilt always draws me back in. My involvement, or what I’m doing now is not working though – he just gets progressively more depressed and angry as time goes on. So, bipolar and all, do I still let go? My son is 15 years old and is a sophomore. K. ``````````````````````````...

Hi, I recently signed up for your teenage help programme and have found it very useful in certain situations as well as controlling and making me think about the way I react to things. My daughter decided a month ago to drop out of school, basically this is because she is too lazy to get up in the mornings or to do the homework. She says that she wants to start college in September, although she hasn't got round to applying in the four weeks she has had off, nor has she seriously looked for a job for the meantime. To stop her lazing in bed all day watching TV I have disconnected it, I also disconnected her phone as she recently run up a HUGE bill which she was unable to pay as she has no money! However I have since comprimised and allowed her phone to receive incoming calls as she said that she had left her phone number with jobs that she'd applied for. This evening I asked her casually what her plans were for tomorrow she said "dunno, nothing really", and ...

I've read thru the online book thru the 1st set of assignments. I feel like I have so many problems with my child that I don't know where to begin. He has ADD, ODD, depression and presently refusing to attend school....Actually reading your information so far has me confused as to what i should work on. Help! He's 15yrs old, and even routine simple requests turn into major issues. `````````````````````````````````````````````` In this first week, I simply want you to work only on the objectives outlined in Session #1 assignments – nothing more for now. The objectives are pretty straightforward. The goal of week one is to re-establish the broken bond between child and parent. We as parents must build a bridge back to our kids because, only then, will they accept discipline from us. Thus, concentrate on establishing trust and developing a renewed commitment to the parent-child relationship by following the Session #1 objectives. The most common mistake I see time and time aga...

This is the true story of a man who has Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and ADHD. His name is David. David was diagnosed with ODD at the age of 3 and ADHD at the age of 6. His mother had him tested by a psychiatrist, because he would often lose his temper, argue, refuse to comply with rules, deliberately annoy his playmates, and blamed others for his misbehavior. This disturbance in behavior caused significant impairment in his social and academic functioning. No one knows for certain why David got ODD plus ADHD. His parents divorced when he was 5. His father is an alcoholic and has been in trouble with the law many times [currently in prison – 2008]. When David was 3 years old, his mother thought that the terrible twos were finally over. They were not. His mother was very grateful that the grandparents were nearby. The grandparents were grateful that David's aunts and uncles lived nearby. David's aunt was grateful that this was her nephew, not her son. Why? David re...

Online Parent Support

"It was a Godsend to speak to you, and again -- I thank you! I am better today. Lia is home. I tried your the technique you teach of "give some praise through a wired shut by anger mouth"... :-) ..., yesterday on Lia. She DID the dishes, 1st time out and good. After she finished them I said "TTTttttttthhhhhhaaannnnnkkkkk (aaarrrgggggggaAAaag) Yyyyyoooouuuu. You did the dishes great and even put them away without being asked. Want to help with dinner?"... I swear she stood frozen, like a deer cemented in headlights, and eventually said "sure". So today is a new day. A thankful while hopeful day for the ONE day of peace I had yesterday and for the hope of adding another day today. It is at least a start. Thank you!" Take Care, D. Online Parent Support

Dear Mark, I just want to say your ebook is proving very helpful. I am almost 57 (A___) and have an adolescent son my height (14 in May) and another son 13 in August (who's shoulder height). I am a single mother - I agreed to 50/50 childcare on the divorce application 2 years ago, but have been dumped with 90 - 95% childcare, because my ex-husband took off to a place a 2-and -a-half-hour drive away, and sees the sons he wanted, only in holidays and a weekend a month whenever he dictates. When he left our home, and had bought a new place with a new partner BEFORE our divorce application was even lodged, I had the relief that my 'eldest dependent son' had left home. Yes, I was bullied and intimidated into doing everything - earning all the money, paying all the bills, doing the main bulk (deliberate redundancy there) of childcare (getting children to school en route to my job) and housework. And burning out. I see from your book I was the over-indulgent wife. Yes, indeed...

"Many thanks for the work that you have done. We are making progress with our teen son. Please advise if you have any home rule teen contract templates that you can share? Please advise any guidelines on cell phones?" ```````````````````````````` Hi J., Re: home rule teen contract templates— A Home Rules Contract is a written set of expectations that adults have of their teens (and preteens). The contract includes basic rules, consequences and privileges. The primary purpose of a Home Rules Contract is for teens to be held accountable for their behavior while allowing parents to maintain a reasonable amount of control. A Home Rules Contract will teach teens that there are consequences to breaking rules, the knowledge of which hopefully will transfer in the teen's mind to school rules as well as the legal system. A Home Rules Contract will not resolve the issues of feelings and emotions involved within the relationships between parents and tee...

D___ is beyond out of control. He is still grounded from his ps4 and computer until he has completed his 10 day sentence to alternative school (he tries constantly to get them back- just for 1hr cause I am being good type deal). But the real issue is at school. He is in alternative school right now and the teacher today says D___ is being so bad that if he does not stop they are going to have the police write him a ticket!!!! This is up to a 500.00 fine that I DO NOT HAVE OR WILL EVER HAVE and WILL NOT PAY so i don't know what happens then?? !! The teacher asked him to stop talking and D___ says she has no right to take away his freedom of speech, he refuses to do this work, told the teacher she is horrible at her job! HE IS A NIGHTMARE. I got him on the phone and told him he had better keep his &%&)%$(&)^% mouth shut and i mean NOW! So what do I do know that I blew it again? Strip his room to a mattress and make him earn every piece back? Or take every...

Mark, Would you have any information for teachers and how they can deal with out of control students? Thanks in advance, Ms. Margy ```````````````````````````````````````` Hi Ms. Margy, Yes. Here’s a “Guide for Teachers”: Guide for Teachers-- I. Brief Overview A. Present main points from: Behavior Problems: What's a School to Do? - Excerpted from Addressing Barriers to Learning Newlsetter. 1. Refer to the outline entitled Intervention Focus in Dealing with Misbehavior for a concise description of strategies for managing misbehavior before, during and after its occurrence. 2. Utilize the Logical Consequences section to discuss the nature and rationale for implementing consequences, as well as a review of appropriate guidelines for using discipline in the cla...