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3 Strikes?


What do you think of the “3-strikes-you’re-out” rule. We thought we would give our 15-year-old son one verbal warning for misbehavior, if the problem continued, give him one written warning, if the problem continued, issue the 3-day discipline. Have you heard of anyone trying this? Do you think it will work?

Thanks in advance,



Hi M.,

I don’t think this method will hurt anything, but I don’t recommend it because it will be a waste of your time and energy. The “3-strikes method” is just another traditional parenting strategy that makes little – if any – change in the child’s behavior.

I find that when you give a kid 3 strikes -- he uses all 3. Teenagers, by definition, push against the world to see how it will push back …they test the limits …they spend a lot of time figuring out how much they can get away with. This is normal for a teenager. Thus, you can count on your son using all 3 strikes.

A better method would be “When You Want Something From Your Kid” in the eBook (a “1-strike-and-your-out” method).


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