If you are feeling fed-up with your teen’s behavior, you’re not the only one. Surprisingly, your troubled teen may be feeling just as fed-up with her behavior. A hostile teenager’s violent acts do not empower her, but leaves her feeling like she has little or no control over herself.
The period of adolescence hurtles a number of mental and physical changes at your teenager. If she has a strong foundation, which comes from your set rules and structure at home, then you can expect that she will be able to deal with these changes more easily and possibly never have to enter into a stage of hostility. If you do not provide a set structure for her to latch on to, then it is like she is plunging through fast-paced adolescence without a seat belt.
You may have noticed that as your youngster has grown from a toddler in her terrible twos to a teenager equipped with mood swings, applicable discipline has been more difficult to enforce.
By the time they reach the early teens, they might not care anymore if they get denied dessert after dinner or not. Nonetheless, there are still some applicable consequences, which may prove useful in disciplining your troubled teen. Here are just a few to get you started:
1. Allowance— The power of money can indeed be a useful tool for a mom/dad. Denying allowance as a consequence of defiant behavior can be utilized as well as giving bonuses when good actions are recognized.
2. Clothing— The way your teen dresses is a big part of his/her expression of individuality. By forcing certain types of clothing on them (for example khaki pants instead of grunge leather), you may prompt them to act in a particular way which is to your liking/approval.
3. Freedom— When your teen displays his maturity and responsibility, you may choose to respond with the opposite consequence and reward his positive actions with more freedom. By just making his curfew time an hour later than usual, you can encourage your youngster to keep at it with his display of responsible behavior. By showing them that you recognize that they are a youngster growing into an adult, you will motivate a sense of positive growth.
4. Grounding your Youngster— Taking away some of your teen’s freedom (like not letting them go out with friends on Friday night) may be just what they need to wake up and recognize that their behavior has been unacceptable.
5. Material Things— A teen’s possessions can be of dear importance to her. By taking away certain items of significance, you can attempt to one’s control behavior.
6. Phone Privileges— A teenager’s peers are one of his main priorities. When you deny him phone privileges, you can expect results as this is not just a penalty they can easily ignore.
7. Time Together— Sometimes what a troubled teenager really craves for inside is just some quality time with a mom/dad. The warmth of care from a parent to his youngster has genuine beneficial effects on a teenager’s behavior.
8. Transportation— As soon as your youngster is old enough to have a student permit, his use of wheels is of prime importance to him. By restraining him from using the family car or making him use public transportation instead, you may have a firm hold over his behavior.
9. Trust— You must show your youngster the significance of a bond of trust between mom/dad and teen. When he commits a mistake which leads to a loss of trust on your part, then it would prove beneficial to think up possible ways or deeds he can do in order to gain your trust again.
10. Your Presence—Teens care a lot about their image and a mom/dad’s constant presence can be exactly what can prompt them to shape up.
If your teen’s mood swings control the entire atmosphere of your family, then you may be feeling at your teenager’s mercy. It is definitely difficult to deal with a hostile teenager, but parents must not be off in one corner feeling sorry for themselves because their efforts go by unnoticed. This is the time when your efforts should double, triple even, if your initial efforts do not take effect on your troubled teenager.
My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents Who Are At Their Wits-End