The situation with my daughter became critical Sunday/Monday, so instead of waiting for the CD's to listen to in the car, I took the day off and read up to the first assignment in the e-book. I listened to all the audio too... I read it a few times.
I realized that the problem is from my being an uninvolved parent. I did all the assignments the first night (except make a contract) and lo and behold, about 4 hours after telling her I had made mistakes as a parent, she came downstairs and announced she was ready to talk and spilled her guts about stuff she has been lying to me about for quite awhile. No hostility (she had been physically aggressive with me just that morning.)
I feel like we are on the right track finally. Thank you. Your info is pretty commonsense (should be, anyway), but I was handling it all in the opposite way (getting mad at her, withdrawing further, etc.)