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Divorced Couple Disagrees On How To Discipline Their Children

Mark, I'm new to your program, and just getting ready to do the assignments for week 1. My x-wife has custody of my daughter, though I have her at my house about 50% of the time. My question has to do with my x-wife. She undercuts any discipline that I have ever tried with my daughter. The first week has shown me that I am an overindulgent parent. My x-wife is off the charts overindulgent. I can never get her on the same page with me for very long. When my 16-year-old daughter goes out of control, my x-wife will want to work with me until my daughter goes to work on her. Then she takes her side. What do recommend with respect to my x-wife? She has never wanted to participate in any counseling and really seems to convince herself that there is nothing wrong (usually this happens when my daughter behaves for a short period of time). I love your program, the first week has taught me more than I ever could have imagined. Thanks, J.

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1 comment:

GDOBSSOR R said...

Compromise. If that doesn't work:
Her house = her rules.
Your house = your rules.
If mom lets her eat pizza every night for dinner, so be it. Her house. If you don't do that, then you do you. Not a big deal. Just like you would expect her to follow house rules at a friend's house, even if they're different from hour's.
But, don't deal with mom's indulgence. Be very firm with your young adult daughter that even if she can get away with more at mom's, you have different rules that you have the right to set. Likewise, don't expect her mom to discipline her for a rule she broke at your house.

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