ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Fifteen-year-old Rebekah Toia was bright and attractive and had lots of friends. She was an honor student at her High School, a softball player and loved writing fantasy stories and poetry. The night before she died, she had come home from a party, went into her room and an hour later came out and asked her mom if she could sleep with her. In the morning, her mother made pancakes for her. Rebekah took the dog out for its morning walk. When her mother left for work, each told the other, "I love you." When Barbara Toia came home from work Tuesday afternoon, she found Rebekah hanging by her neck from a cloth belt attached to the top of her bedroom door. She was not breathing. Her death – and that of 14-year-old Angelena Ohanessian who died the same way two weeks earlier – prompted Chicago police to issue an alert to parents about the dangers of the "choking game." Both girls, who didn't know each other, succumbed to the deadly game, they say. The point...

***Help your adolescent avoid drugs*** Many teenagers experiment with drugs, putting their health and safety at risk — but adolescent drug abuse isn't inevitable. You can help prevent adolescent drug abuse by talking to your adolescent about the consequences of using drugs and the importance of making healthy choices. Why teenagers abuse drugs— Various factors may contribute to adolescent drug abuse, from insecurity and self-doubt to a desire for social acceptance. Teenagers often feel indestructible and may not consider the consequences of their actions, leading them to take potentially dangerous risks — such as abusing legal or illegal drugs. Common risk factors for adolescent drug abuse include: A family history of substance abuse Depression Drug availability Early aggressive behavior Feelings of social rejection Lack of parental supervision Low self-esteem Poverty Consequences of adolescent drug abuse— Adolescent drug abuse can have a number ...

It's not unusual for kids -- especially those in their "terrible twos" and early teens -- to defy authority every now and then. They may express their defiance by arguing, disobeying, or talking back to their moms and dads, teachers, or other adults. When this behavior lasts longer than six months and is excessive compared to what is usual for the youngster's age, it may mean that the child has a type of behavior disorder called Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). ODD is a condition in which a youngster displays an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, hostile, and annoying behavior toward people in authority. The child's behavior often disrupts the child's normal daily activities, including activities within the family and at school. Many kids and adolescents with ODD also have other behavioral problems, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, learning disabilities, mood disorders (such as depression), and anxiety disorders. Some ...

"My 13-year-old daughter has been acting-up quite a lot at school - especially in the lunch room. She has had 3 referrals in just the last week and may get suspended if she gets any more this month. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks." While kids can display a wide range of behavior problems in school, from disruptive talking in the classroom to fighting and name-calling on the playground, the reasons for bad behavior are usually simple. If your daughter is acting out a lot in school, my assumption is either that she's having strong feelings and needs a hand with getting those feelings out, or that something in school is really not working for her. As a parent, you can do a number of things at home to help your child deal with her feelings. You can also change the situation in school so your child has a better time there. How to help your child at school: Assess the situation— Start by spending time in your daughter's classroom (volunteer as an...

Moms and dads often fall into the trap of bargaining with their youngster, sometimes to make their own lives easier or because they want to be “friends” with their child, and sometimes because they feel guilt or shame about issues from the past such as getting a divorce, moving the family, or working too many hours. Moms and dads often fall into the bargaining trap when they are unclear about which rules are negotiable and which are non-negotiable. Although bargaining with your child may resolve the immediate conflict, a pattern of bargaining could indicate an unhealthy disruption in the balance of power in the parent-child relationship. Bargaining is often a sign that parents are losing authority over their youngster, particularly when they begin bargaining about rules that are, or should be, hard lines in the sand. Teenagers and preteens may feel a misplaced sense of entitlement that begins to wear away at a parent’s authority. Entitlement is when someone believes the...

The majority of the population does not understand the dynamics of parenting a defiant child. Small expectations on the parent's part can set the defiant child off in ways that are not only indescribable, but also often unbelievable. Family and friends may think that you - the parent - are the one with the problem. Support is non-existent, because outsiders can't even begin to imagine that children can be so destructive. Where does that leave a parent? Without strong support and understanding, the parent will become isolated, hurt, demoralized and confused. You begin to question your parenting abilities - and your own sanity. The ongoing stress can result in disastrous effects on our well-being, literally causing our emotional and physical health to deteriorate - as well as causing us to rage at our child, thus making a bad problem worse. In parenting a defiant child, you will not escape adverse effects. It is essential to recognize that y...

"What are your suggestions for a 13 yo (boy) who behaves well enough at home, but is in constant trouble at school for arguing and fighting with some of the other students?" There are all sorts of reasons why kids misbehave in school. By the time a child is reacting with violence, it's too late to institute a quick fix. Newspaper articles about kids whose behavior problems have turned tragic often talk about missed opportunities and why nobody helped. Here are five ways to start dealing with problems or potential problems early, when there is still time to work with teachers and administrators to make school a tolerable place for your youngster. 1. Be realistic about your youngster's abilities— Pushing and motivating and holding high expectations can drive some kids to be all they can be, but it can drive others straight into anxiety and depression. Would you want to work at a job, day in and day out, where you always had to be at the top of your abilitie...

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