He's Got 4 Parents.

Hi Mark,

I have read quite a bit of your ebook now. I am finding controlling my anger a problem. I have not found my poker face yet. I do have a question for you though. My son goes to his fathers for dinner every Tuesday night and every other weekend. How do I enforce the discipline?

My son did not earn this past weekends wrestling tournament and was told he could not go, his father took him anyway. So now my son is acting like he got away with something. And I feel like what I say doesn't matter. I except that I cannot control my son's reaction. But, how do I control his father’s actions or reactions? My son has 2 mom's and 2 dad's and none of us get along very well because we have different idea's of what's best for our son.

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Hi A-M.,

If he has 2 moms and 2 dads, then you only get 25% of the say-so -- not good odds.

In any event, I would recommend that, if possible, the 4 parents get together and come up with some type of parenting plan that everyone can live with (compromise). A watered-down, weaker plan supported by all 4 parents would be infinitely better than a solid, stronger plan supported by only one parent.

If the other 3 parents are not interested in working WITH you, then let your son know that your rules are different than theirs, and there are consequences for violating your rules while he's on your watch.

I know this is a frustrating situation. You make two steps forward, and then it seems that the other parent pulls you 3 steps back. But don't try to control what they do on their end. Your son will simply have to operate under two or more different sets of rule-structures.

Mark

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

J's school counselor recommended a part time job.

Hey Mark~

J's school counselor recommended a part time job. Thought it necessary since he will be 17 on Apr 28 (more important than a sport). I thought track would be a better idea- get him social and active- and he could pick up a job in the summer. J refuses to do either. He is taking Drivers Ed. but has no motivation to drive or go anywhere (child of indulgent parent). How do I handle this?

Thanx- L.

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I think this falls into the 'pick your battles carefully' category. Here's my 2 cents:

If he doesn't want to work -- fine. But he should do chores around the house to earn money.

If he doesn't want to do track -- no problem.

If he wants to be a homebody -- that's o.k.

Your son is going to be a late bloomer ...I can see that now.

I wouldn't spend time or energy fighting these battles,

Mark

p.s. Don't go lookin' for trouble.

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

She's got ADHD, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder , and Bipolar Disorder.

I have a 17 year old daughter who has been diagnoses with severe ADHD, anxiety and border-line bi-polar. These past six months have been terrible. She's hanging out with terrible kids, she quit school, she hates her family and as her mom, I have tried several drugs, including Strattera, which she just started, and she is miserable.

Anyone with authority, including family, teachers, anyone, she does not tolerate. I'm trying to get her tutored so she can graduate, she thinks it's no big deal, feels entitled to get her car back on the road, get a new cell phone, etc. I'm at my wit's end, I don't know what to do with her, she threatens to move out daily, she is not even 18 (in a few weeks), she's a know-it-all and I cannot reason with this child at all, she is illogical and will not listen and everyone is making her life miserable and nothing is her fault.

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com